[Glee season 2 episode 2 - Britney Spears - full episode VIDEO]

Dear ‘Glee’ fans, or Gleeks as you should be known,

Can BS save a show? And no, before you assume that I am talking about Britney Spears, the artist which our beloved show centered on last night (in an episode titled, “Britney/Brittany“), I am not. I am talking about Buttsweat Stain. You heard me. Can Buttsweat Stain save a show? Yes, it can. Yes, it did.

See, I am not a Britney Spears fan. Oh sure, I have one too many cocktails some evenings and find myself sprawled over a bar table while belting out ‘Hit Me Baby (One More Time)’ into a karaoke microphone-TRUE STORY-but to center the show on her was, in my humble opinion, a mistake.

I mean really, was it just me, or were we subjected to 25 minutes of music videos as oppose to snappy dialogue and an actual storyline. If you think about it, NOTHING happened last night at all. Sure, there were funny moments, and a new character was introduced (I’ll get to that in a moment), but there was no plot advancement whatsoever.

Will is still in love with Emma who is afraid, apparently, to be with him. Finn still loves Rachel despite having feelings for Quinn, Brittany is still stupid, Artie is still dumped, and Sue Sylvester is the only thing that can bring a laugh.

For real, I am starting to worry.

What was missing from ‘Glee’ last night? First of all, Christopher Cross was missing. ‘Glee’ has turned into one big tease for me. I have no problem admitting my love for Cross and his melancholy tunes or the fact that the original ‘Arthur’ is my shizz!!! And yes Finn, the moon and New York City are about 100 miles apart.

And I am fully aware that they used Cross as a joke (it’s not funny) and that Will gave me 3.5 seconds of ‘Sailing,’ but I am unsatisfied.

Speaking of unsatisfied, I would now like to look at Carl, played by John Stamos who shall henceforth be referred to properly as Uncle Jesse. Did I like his character? Sure. Did he bring anything to the show? No. Do I believe that he is competition for Will? Nope. Maybe it was poor acting on Matthew Morrison’s behalf, but I just didn’t believe it. If someone was going after my girl, I certainly wouldn’t throw business his way. But what do I know? I have a vagina.

I think what I lacked was any real interaction between Uncle Jesse and Emma. Aside from the introduction of his character in her office, we didn’t really see them together. When he spoke to Glee Club, they didn’t interact. I just don’t buy it, but then again, maybe I am not supposed to buy it. And at the end, we were in the same place we were in the beginning. There was no change. No dynamics shifted at all.

Not even as a result of the Britney Spears sex riot!!!!

Which brings me to my last point: ‘Glee’ seemed long last night. Very long. Like, I fast-forwarded through Rachel and Artie’s Britney videos because I was bored. It wasn’t until Sue Sylvester showed up to tell us about Jacob Ben Israel’s Buttsweat Stain that things even got remotely funny. Should a show rely so heavily on one character to bring it up to par? If Jane Lynch decides to quit, what would happen to that show? Could any of the other actors actually carry it? At this point, unless Principal Figgins gets more airtime, I don’t think it’s possible.

And what does this say about Britney Spears? The writers obviously used her as a catalyst to make the students self-aware, but her music had no impact. In fact, the most pivotal song in the whole episode was Paramore’s “Only Exception” which Rachel sang for Finn at the end. Not a Brit song. Why? Because her songs, though fun to get drunk and sing, are completely meaningless.

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