Madonna Wants a Baby Jesus

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Someone really needs to remind her that she is over a half-century old! Madonna is hoping to add a 5th child to her family… but not through adoption. Apparently, she wants to conceive a child with her 22 year old Brazilian model boyfriend Jesus Luz, who she’s been dating around 2 years now. Has she not already got a new baby in Jesus?

Per NME:

The 51-year-old, who split with husband Guy Ritchie in 2008, has reportedly consulted doctors and fertility specialists about conceiving another child, after Luz apparently told her that becoming a father would be his “greatest adventure”.

Jesus is said to be as keen to have a baby with his pop superstar lover, always wanting to have children, and has said he ‘wanted to go on this journey for her.’ Madonna has reportedly told friends that Jesus would make a ‘fantastic dad.’

Per The Sun:

“She knows that, at 51, it’s going to be harder to conceive naturally. But she is Olympic-athlete fit and is ready for the challenge.”

I’m sorry, but shouldn’t Madge’s vag be in retirement right now, since menopause should have already started? However, she is unlikely to make him her third husband, with Jesus previously saying he was not ready to get married. Madonna, is already mother to her two biological children Lourdes and Rocco and two adopted children, David and Mercy. I think its a little too late for her. But who better than to have it with than Ms. Material Girl? She’ll most likely die way before he does, setting him and the baby up for life. It’s obviously not just the women who are gold diggers nowadays.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Guy Ritchie Calls Madonna Retarded

Apparently, following their break-up last year, Madonna stated that ex-husband, Guy Ritchie was “emotionally retarded.”

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Now, the Rock-n-Rolla director has struck back. In an interview with Esquire Magazine, Ritchie continues by hurling more insults at his baby mama.

Via The New York Post:

“Ritchie lobbed it right back at her. ‘I still love her. But she’s retarded, too,’ Ritchie told the magazine. Ritchie also conceded his ex ‘makes things happen’ and works hard at her career. The pair, married for eight years, got divorced in the UK last November.”

Remember, sitcks and stone may break your bones, but calling Madge retarded will only get the gays mad at you.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Goldie Hawn Begs Kate Hudson to Dump A-Rod

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They always say mother knows best! Actress Goldie Hawn is strongly urging her daughter Kate Hudson to dump boy-toy Alex Rodriguez before she ends up heartbroken. Introduced to A-Rod last November by gal-pal Gwyneth Paltrow while he was dating Madonna, Kate apparently fell hard for the New York Yankees star there and then although they only began dating last month. Both are said to be “somewhat serious” about the relationship – with Alex introducing the “Bride Wars” actress to his friends and Kate introducing him to her 5 year old son Ryder, with Kate and Ryder even accompanying Alex recently on a trip to Texas. But now mama Goldie is worried that the romance will go the same as her previous relationships since splitting from ex-husband Chris Robinson – with her daughter ending up having to mend her broken heart.

Per Daily Mail:

“Goldie feels it’s high time Kate settled down and left the dating scene behind for a while,” says a source. “Kate’s had a string of boyfriends since her divorce from Chris Robinson and it’s always the same pattern – she falls hard and fast, then gets bored or has her heart broken. Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again.”

Over the past three years, Kate has dated Lance Armstrong and Dax Shepard and was even linked a few times to Justin Timberlake. Rodriguez was previously alleged to be dating Madonna following her divorce from director Guy Ritchie, while Hudson recently split from on-again/off-again lover Owen Wilson. Here’s an idea Kate — be a good mom, work on your career and stop worrying about guys all together for while. Live the single life!

Madonna to Make Jesus a Summer Bride

Madonna and her boy-toy Jesus Luz are all set to get married. Well, sort of. Jesus Luz’s father has confirmed to a Brazilian magazine that his 22 year old son is set to wed the 50 year old Material Girl in a non-legally binding Kabbalah commitment ceremony. But although the couple will be linked together by the service, Madonna won’t be needing a prenup.

Per NYDailyNews via Brazil’s Quem (Who) Magazine:

“The kabbalah ceremony [in New York that] will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy.” says Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz. “I don’t know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah [or if the ceremony] will have legal validity. I’ve spoken by phone with Madonna – in French, because my English is not fluent – and she appears to me to be a normal and polite person. She is feminine. I don’t feel she is a harsh person.”

The couple have already been acting like a family unit as they reside together in Madonna’s Central Park West apartment. Jesus has allegedly stepped up as a father figure for Madonna’s kids, playing ball with the kids, according to his father. Sounds like he’d make a good nanny to me, but husband material? Wonder what Guy Ritchie has to say about that!

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Images Via: Buer Griffin

Madonna’s Adoption Plans, Mercy James Baby Photo

Madonna landed in Malawi on Sunday in hopes of adopting 4 year old Mercy James, whose mother died shortly after giving birth to her. Madonna wants to give her first adopted son David a sister from the same country that he was born in. Mercy is living at the Mchinji Home of Hope, the same orphanage where David was living before being adopted. Before appearing in court for the matter, Madonna took a tour of a Malawian village, and talked of plans to build a school there. Accompanying her on this trip is Lourdes Leon, her daughter with former flame Carlos. Besides Lourdes, Madonna has a second biological child, Rocco, from her marriage to Guy Ritchie, which ended in divorce in January.

The adoption of little Mercy was halted on Monday where a judge delayed ruling on her application to adopt Mercy until Friday. Her grandmother, 61-year-old Lucy Chekechiwa, is reportedly against Madonna’s decision to adopt Mercy.

Via NY Daily:

“Why doesn’t this singer pick other children? It is stealing,” Chekechiwa told the Telegraph of London, adding that she has an agreement with the orphanage to take Mercy when she turns 6. “I want to go to court. I won’t let her go.”

Madonna was criticized by some when she started adoption proceedings for David in 2006, and the criticisms have started with this adoption, also. Children’s advocacy groups accuse her of using her wealth and influence to get around Malawian law requiring an 18- to 24-month assessment period before adoption. They are accusing her of using her status and wealth to bypass the African nation’s laws. “Save the Children UK” charity adds that her second adoption is sending the wrong message, encouraging poor parents “to abandon children in the hope that they will have a better life.” The singer’s 2008 divorce from Guy Ritchie has also upset the children’s charity, “Eye of the Child”. And human rights activists believe that Madonna’s recent split from Ritchie should disqualify her from adopting again.

Per Us Magazine:

“We should never allow our children to be placed into broken families,” Maxwell Matewere, director of children’s charity “Eye of the Child” has said.

Save the Children” believes that many international adoptions are unnecessary and has urged Madonna to ensure all other options had been exhausted before removing a child from a foreign orphanage. Meanwhile, Madonna’s adopted son David’s biological father, Yohane Banda, reunited with his son Monday morning. Yohane said David asked him lots of questions in English and that the two were able to talk with the help of a translator.

A court-appointed overseer will assess Madonna’s eligibility as a parent, and two reports will be presented before the judge before ruling on the adoption.

So what do you think – will Madonnas adoption go off without a hitch? Maybe the judge will see how she’s too sexually open, and not allow the bed-hopping Madge to place this child within a broken home? Or will he let the adoption go through proving more so that celebrities can adopt whoever they want to and not have to follow the laws?

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Images Via: AP Photos

Guy Ritchie Wooing Elle Macpherson – Photos

Guy Ritchie is seeking solace in the bosom of Elle Macpherson according to latest on gossip grapevine.

Madonna recently shacked up with Jesus in her New York apartment and Guy isn’t sitting at home and crying over a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. He has been entertaining supermodel Elle ‘The Body’ Macpherson. Last night the Daily Mirror caught the two hit up Notting Hill’s Brasserie. They talked for hours before leaving separately around 12:30 in the morning.

Both left with smiles on their faces.

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Images Via: Splash

Sherlock Holmes Gay in Guy Ritchie’s Film

In Guy Ritchie’s upcoming film, super sleuth “Sherlock Holmes” will be portrayed as a gay man. Who knew? The fictional character famous for wearing his deerstalker hat, puffing on a pipe and solving mysteries with his trusted sidekick, will be shown sharing a bed with his very close friend Dr. Watson, in addition to some man-on-man wrestling.

Per Queerstalker:

“We’re two men who happen to be room-mates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s badass.” says Robert Downey Jr. who plays Holmes.

“Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.” adds Jude Law, who plays Dr. Watson.

Last week he was ordered to re-shoot his “unrealistic” Sherlock Holmes movie. The 40-year-old ex husband of Madonna was reportedly left fuming after Warner Brothers head honchos told him several scenes didn’t reach their expectations. Ritchie has been forced to call back cast, including Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law to remake five weeks worth of footage.

I’m just wondering where the Sherlock Holmes lifestyle choice is coming from. I’ve read quite a few Sherlock stories and never once have I picked up on anything like this. If this is done right, this could be really interesting and might even be Oscar-worthy! Hope you don’t let us down Ritchie!

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Images Via: Flyent

Madonna and Guy Ritchie Divorce Deal – Guy Penniless

After being married to Madonna for 8 years, Guy Ritchie will walk away with nothing, but partial custody of the kids. Madge is said to be worth $300 million and Guy goes for $30 million. He will have plenty of his own cash to keep him warm at night.

The divorce deal issues came from the kids. Madonna, who has been dressing their son in Yankee’s garb, wants Lourdes and the two boys to come back with her to New York. Ritchie wants to keep the kids in London where they have spent most of their lives. Lourdes, Rocco and David will be splitting their time between New York and Britain. However, Lourdes will be staying with Madge in the states due to her lack of biological ties with Ritchie.

“Ritchie has not wanted her money. He has done exactly what Billie Piper did when she divorced Chris Evans. She walked away without any of his money, much to her credit. Guy Ritchie has done the same.” a source claims.

Suddenly my little Grinch heart grew three sizes.

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Images Via: Daily Mail and Celebrity Baby Blog