On Monday Night the voice over version of Susan Boyle let us down. Ted Williams went from slut for booze money to recovering alcoholic plucked from Ohio with a Golden Voice. It’s like a poor man’s version of “From Homeless to Harvard.”

Ol’ Willy hasn’t been enjoying the spoils of national fame for a full week and he has already taken a turn down Jerry Springer Road. His daughter and her bank account went to visit him in his room at Renaissance Hotel in Hollywood. She claims he is pulling a Lindsay Lohan and drinking entire bottles of Grey Goose, cashing it with beer and washing down with wine. She then allegedly tried to blackmail him and fighting ensued. Police arrived and took them both into custody. No one was charged but Teddy now has some cuts on his face thanks to his daughter’s acrylic claws. BTW, he has NINE KIDS. Looks like sweet nectar wasn’t his only hobby. His ex-wife, Patricia Kirtley, raised 5 of the kids while he battled his addictions.

Via NBC:

“Patricia Kirtley and Ted Williams had 4 daughters and she also raised a son he fathered with another woman. She now resides in Ohio and has 16 grandchildren. Her eldest daughter was 7 when Ted left. Another remarkable thing about Patricia, she is partially blind. Patricia and Ted ended their marriage 23 years ago. Patricia never received one dime in child support.

While he was struggling with a drug addiction, she had to go on welfare. She eventually attended school and became a licensed blind vendor to support her children. Most of the past 23 years, Ted have been missing in action. He is a stranger to his own children and grandchildren.”

One of the children isn’t even hers?!!??! Patty is the real star here. She needs some sitcom with Antione Dodson. For real.

Enter Dr. Phill. (Shiz just got real.) He will be talking with Golden Voice and that mess will air tonight.