Chelsea Handler Attacks Angelina Jolie – VIDEO

Nothing says Happy Monday like a video of Chelsea Handler throwing the word C.U.Next Tuesday around like an Irish hooker with Tourettes.

Chelsea Handler took out her pot and called Jolie’s kettle black. During a show in New Jersey, the comedienne (I use the term loosely) started in on Angelina Jolie being a homewrecker.

“She’s a homewrecker, she is,” Chelsea started on Angie. “She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don’t f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Cause you’re a f**king c**t … you’re a f***ing b***h.”

Someone answer Handler with a video of a Brangeloonie sitting in a room wallpapered with Mr. and Mrs. Smith posters screaming “You in danger girl!” Maddox is filing his nails into mini-shivs and gonna go all Wolverine on her.

Seriously though….Handler slept her way to the top of the crap tv pile with a married man who also left his wife for her. Whateves. Kathy Griffin > Handler. ‘Nuff said.

Stripper Apologizes To Fergie For Boinking Josh, Claims He’s Still Texting Her

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The stripper who claims to have had an affair with Josh Duhamel isn’t letting go of her time in the spotlight, instead reaching out to apologize to Fergie for messing around with her husband. Nicole Forrester (husband boinking stripper) even passed a lie detector test regarding her affair with Duhamel. (Click HERE to see the videos of her confession.)

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Per Extra:

“I thought, ‘Nobody’s gonna find out. It’s not gonna hurt anybody,” says Nicole Forrester, a 34-year-old single mother of two who says she slept with Duhamel, 37, while he was filming “Live As We Know It” in Atlanta. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t think of it at the time like I think of it now. She’s standing by her man, so obviously I’m not wrecking the home too bad, huh?” she says.”

Now thats one classy lady, huh? Note to Nicole – Your sincerity becomes questionable when you insist that you are not a homewrecker. Forrester further mentions that her own family, including her two young children, has suffered due the recent scandal.

“My son, he went to a football game last Saturday and he was like, mom, ‘you’re disgusting. I didn’t know you had sex with him,’” he says.”

Aww, such a heartwarming tale, dontcha think? What, is she hawking for a ‘Lifetime movie of the week?’ LeAnne Rimes is looking for work, and she’s fit the part of Forrester perfectly! Nevertheless, it proved to be a life changing experience for her, because she says she has given up stripping since her children asked her to. Despite her son calling her disgusting and the amount of public backlash she has endured, Forrester can’t seem to quit talking about her time with Duhamel. At first Forrester claimed she and the actor had a “really, really good time” together, but now she’s singing a different tune saying she was not ‘wowed’ by Duhamel’s bedroom skills.

Per Huffington Post:

“As far as the best sex? No, I don’t think that was it,” she said.

But then, in what seems to be a backhanded move, Forrester mentions that Duhamel has still been sending her text messages since the scandal broke. So what exactly is she trying to tell Fergie – I’m sorry I slept with your man, and by the way, he’s still in contact with me? That’s quite an apology, huh? My guess is she’s only apologizing due to her son thinking his mom is a homewrecking skank.

Quotables:

Heckler Spray: “You have to feel for Nicole Forrester. After all, how was she to know that allegedly sleeping with a married actor and then voluntarily doing numerous high profile paid interviews about it on TV, radio and in print would lead to people finding out about it? She’s the real victim here. That poor woman.”

Celebrity Smack- Ok, I think I found the bitch I want to box for the Celebrity Boxing Federation!

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Image Via: Bumpshack, Extra

Eddie Cibrian Gets Trash-Talked By Wife

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Word to the wise (and all you guys) – Never EVER put anything past a scorned woman! The ‘CSI Miami‘ actor’s estranged wife, Brandi Glanville, is lashing out at her husband of eight years after making his affair with singer LeAnne Rimes public. Needless to say, she’s not happy about it!

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Per Us:

“Eddie is a compulsive liar, cheater and a home wrecker,” she says in the newest issue of Us Weekly, on stands now. “And he has been an absentee father. Eddie’s displays of poor taste have hurt our two children,” she goes on. “Eddie may just end up drowning himself in that ‘unfair fishbowl.’”

Until recently, Glanville stood behind her husband and backed his denials of an affair with LeAnne, citing the talk as nothing but rumors. Soon after, Glanville and Cibrian split, along with Rimes and her husband Dean Sheremet, pretty much confirming the affair. Eddie and LeAnn made their first public appearance at a golf course in Valencia, Ca. last week. LeAnne happily smiled for the paparazzi and didn’t seem like she cared one bit that their scandalous affair had ruined two marriages. The home-wrecking couple were again seen at a Kings of Leon concert this past Saturday night in Los Angeles.

Glanville says she has no plans to reconcile with Cibrian, and hopes to get the good ol’ divorce ball rolling soon. Those proceedings are sure to get nasty! But Brandi does have one final word to say to the hussy that broke apart her family: “He’s all yours!” Good for you Brandi! This is probably just the beginning of Brandi’s Eddie & LeAnn bashing and I love it! Those two cheating ho-bags have it coming!

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Images Via: wenn.com

Sean Penn Files for Divorce… Again

I guess the second time around wasn’t enough to heal the differences. Actor Sean Penn has filed for legal separation from actress-wife Robin Wright Penn last Friday. Back in 2007, Robin first filed for divorce before the couple decided to give their marriage another try, but it appears that reconciliation was not a success. No reason was given why the two might be ending their almost 13 year marriage, but one has to wonder if it has anything to do with Seans’ “playboy” lifestyle.

Recently, “Hollywood Dame” had reported about a slew of rumors going around about Mr. Penn’s affair with fellow actress Natalie Portman before the 2009 Academy Awards. Could Portman possibly be a homewrecker in this relationships demise? (To Read About Their Alleged Affair Click HERE.)

Sean is coming off of a huge career boost, having won the Best Actor Oscar for his role as gay politician Harvey Milk in “Milk“. The couple has been since 1996 and have two teenage children together, Dylan and Hopper Jack. Last time they separated the couple asked for joint custody of their children, although there’s no word as to what this filing is requesting.

Think they’ll change their mind again?

Images Via: Wenn, Getty