Robert Pattinson Goes to Hotel Drunk with Blonde Woman- PICTURES

We have all been here before. You are getting your ho stroll on and the martinis are flowing like obscenities from Alec Baldwin’s mouth and then BAM…you are doing the Drunk-N-Stumble into a taxi.

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Robert Pattinson was spotted drinking at The Ivy Club after attending the premiere and after party for “Remember Me.” However, Pattinson and his Twilight Saga costar, Kristen Stewart, are rumored to be dating/practically married/lovahs. This is all fine and dandy until you wake up the next morning and find a random blonde in your bed. (My immediate dread is that I will have to pretend to give him my number and then share my Pop Tarts with him before I kick him out.) They were photographed being helped into a cab before speeding off to Pattinson’s hotel around 1 am.

Maybe she was his…nanny and Sparklepants was just super tired and she was going to tuck him in and read him “Good Night Moon.” Meh…I hope he double bagged it either way.

UPDATE – Some readers think that this may be one of his reps/Unicorn Patch tamers/agents. What do you think?

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Images Via: WENN.com

Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift on Overnight Hotel Date – Photo

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Twilight” resident wolfpack member Taylor Lautner and country crooner Taylor Swift have been rumored to be dating each other for quite some time now, each trying to throw out the “just friends” card… but how can you use that excuse when you bunk together overnight in a hotel? Hmmmmm….. Lautner wrapped up shooting his part for “Eclipse,” the third movie in the series, flying out of Vancouver down to LA Saturday morning. Later that night, he was seen out on what appeared to be a date with Swift, taking in a Columbus Blue Jackets vs. Los Angeles Kings hockey game with premium seats at the Staples Center before heading out to dinner together. After dinner the couple headed back to their Beverly Hills hotel – notice, no ‘s’ on the end of that word – around 10:30. And before you Twi-hards start calling foul on the situation because in your warped little minds there is no way Mr. Jacob Black could be after anyone but Bella, there is indeed photographs floating around!

Per X17:

“These two weren’t going to any great length to hide the fact that they were spending the night together! They could have been a lot sneakier if they wanted to, and we spotted them leaving early this morning.”

Their latest hookup comes just a mere few weeks after the duo saw each other in Chicago. Both Taylors are busy, she with her tour and he with promoting for “New Moon” about to start up, but it looks like the Taylors are able to find a little time in their schedules to sneak away for a night!

Image Via: Getty Images

Jessica Simpson Hooks Up with Gerard Butler

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Jessica Simpson is said to be the latest to ride Gerard Butler’s ho-go-round. Jennifer Aniston is making slanty eyes at John Mayer and itching to grab her shank and go hunting for that “D-list weave peddler who’s after her Butler.”

Jessica and Gerard were seen out and about (feeling very Canadian this morning) in New York. They were said to be making come hump me eyes at each other as they dined at Soho House. Surrounded by a slew of frenemies who later blabbed to Page Six, they even left together after eating.

“They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who were sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together.”

We all know that Gerry is just a man slag with a rep to uphold and Simpson is his Thang Of the Day. She is probably texting him nonstop “I LUVS YOU! DO U LUVS ME??? PLS LUVS ME!” Poor girl.

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Images Via: WENN

Brad Pitt’s Secret Hotel Meeting with Jennifer Aniston

Should this be true, I bet Jennifer Aniston exploded with the happiness of a thousand rainbows and baskets of kittens.

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So here we go with Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie nuttery…again. Brad supposedly met Aniston in a hotel for a secret rendezvous in New York. Here comes the part where Jen is left sitting alone looking like a fat kid holding an empty donut box. Pitt didn’t make her eyes roll back into her head and point her heels to Jesus. Nope. He talked to her for nearly an hour, whining about Jolie.

Per Grazia via Daily Mail:

“She arrived at his hotel (Essex House) a matter of hours after they had spoken. Brad was unloading his emotional baggage on Jen, which isn’t exactly fair considering their history. But, the source added: “She was quick to tell him she wanted no part in his break-up with Angelina.”

Someone get the Febreeze because this story sounds caca dipped and rolled in Jen’s fantasy diary.

“At first she was reported to be reluctant to meet with her former husband. But the magazine alleges Brad got his mother Jane – who is famously still close to Jen – to persuade her to meet with him and give some advice. She was brutally honest with Brad, telling him he was being selfish and had to figure things out on his own. He mentioned that Angelina is keen to work out their problems, but as far as Brad’s concerned it’s all but over.”

Now I know this is some mythical shiz. You know Jen is sitting at home trying to buy Pitt’s sperm off eBay. She wouldn’t have to be coerced into meeting with him. I am guessing this came from Aniston as she disguised her voice with scarf over the phone.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Justin Timberlake Faces Off Against Stealthy Paparazzo

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Justin Timberlake is not having a good week. You see kittens, it was rumored that JT was on the ‘short list’ of potential actors to play the “Green Latern” in Marvel’s upcoming big-screen rendition of the comic book hero. He squared-off against the likes of Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper. And as you already are aware, the role has gone to Reynolds who, thanks to his nice six-pack of abs and his legally binding agreement to boink Scarlett Johannsen, is much more marketable than the former boy-bander.

Needless to say, Justin doesn’t seem to happy and unfortunately, he decided to take it out on a poor little paparazzo who was merely hiding in the bushes at a West Hollywood hotel, snapping pics to sell in order to feed him family. OK. I am stretching it a little.

Via Celebitchy:

“There were several photographers there, and as you can see from some of the photos, when they first started snapping pictures, Justin looks really annoyed. Then something happened – we don’t know what. Either Justin Timberlake was in a horrible mood and he decide to take it out on one of the photographers, or the photographer said something nasty maybe, or said something personal. Either way, Justin got in this guy’s face. I would love to see video of this – the way they’re standing nearly nose to nose, I bet they were talking smack to each other under their breaths. Simply judging from the continuity of the photos, I think the paparazzo was the one to back down first.”

We can play the photo assumption game with this one since no one has come forward to state what the squabble was really about. I am thinking Timberlake was confronting the Pap in order to ask him why he wasn’t wearing William Rast jeans. But that’s just my take on it.

Several other gossipers are claiming that JT was annoyed that photogs knew of his whereabouts…apparently, he likes being sneaky. And several more are stating that it’s Timberlake’s own lady, Jessica Biel, who is calling the paps to tell them of the two’s whereabouts to help boost her image and squash any rumors that the two have broken up.

I know how you feel Jessica. I once called everyone in my phone book just to tell them Jackson Rathbone smiled at me in a hotel lobby. It was worth it.

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Images Via: Wenn

Rick Astley Not Dead

Seriously Kittens, this is getting out of control.

We have all been overwhelmed this week with the number of beloved celebs who have passed. We are also overwhelmed with the number of false death reports we have received for other celebs who are alive and well like Miley Cyrus and Jeff Goldblum.

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And now, the liars have taken it a step too far by reporting that my first boo, Rick Astley, is dead.

Via The Examiner:

“There’s a purported Associated Press release doing the rounds on the internet stating that Rick Astley is dead. The release is very well done, it’s in the house style, it looks real. However, it didn’t actually appear on the Associated Press wire itself. It’s only circulating second hand.”

Don’t worry-he’s alive and well. The original story, which stated the “Never Gonna Give You Up” singer was found dead in a Berlin hotel room, has since been taken off the internet. A sure sign it was a fake.

Via Idolator:

“The phony story was submitted to CNN’s user-generated, non-edited iReport.com, which, because it carries the imprimatur of the cable news network, gets extra ‘cred’ from credulous readers.”

Make fun of Cyrus and Goldblum all you want, but leave your dirty lyin’ hands off Agent Orange.

Megan Fox Hooked Up with Robert Pattinson

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Or so she claims. The grease monster known as Megan Fox was running her mouth about nailing Robert Pattinson shortly after she and Brian Austin Green broke off their engagement. Someone who worked with Fox on “Jennifer’s Body” told E! that she was bragging about a one night stand that she had with the “Twilight” heartthrob.

“Megan was totally into [Rob] and thought he was really cute,” snitches our high-up, on-the-set sleuth. “But nothing ever went further than one night they were together. He totally blew her off.”

After he ditched her, Megan was hurt and told Elle magazine that she’d never slum it with Pattinson because he was “too pretty and young” for her taste. This could be true despite my distaste for narcissistic princess. They were seen together at Palihouse hotel bar two consecutive nights in Hollywood back in early March. This was just after Brian and Fox’s split in February.

I am guessing it went something like the ho at the 1 minute marker trying to get her some Sparkle.

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Images Via: INF Daily

Ninjas Accused In Death Of David Carradine

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No, this title is not a joke. Mark Gregaros, lawyer for late actor David Carradine are asking FBI officials to look into the actor’s recent death.

As we reported here last week, Carradine was found dead in his Thai hotel room. He was discovered by a hotel maid with rope around his neck and man bits. Carradine’s lawyers and family refuse to believe that Carradine simply forgot his “safe word” during a sex game and insist that foul play is afoot. Furthermore, they believe ninjas may be responsible for his death.

Via D-Listed:

“Mark and David’s family has begged the FBI to travel to Thailand to take over the investigation, because they believe that NINJAS might have made his death look like an accident. Mark said, ‘David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies.’”

This comes on the heels of a Thai paper releasing photos of what is believed to be Carradine’s body at the crime scene. The person’s face in the pictures is blacked-out. Gregaros has threatened to sue if the photo is released anywhere else.

All calls Hollywood Dame made to Michaelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, and Raphael for comment were not returned.

Quotables:

The Blemish: “Yes, because when you find someone slumped in a closet dead with a rope wrapped around his neck and genitals, you don’t think he slipped during auto-erotic asphyxiation, you think he was murdered by a secret society of highly trained assassins who exist only in shadows.”

Gawker: “If Carradine is found to have died at the hands of fake death-jerk staging ninjas, we’ll probably be overwhelmed with sadness, as we recently tweeted our admiration for Carradine’s unquenchable thirst for kink at age 72.”

David Carradine Found Dead

In a terrible twist of shocking news, David Carradine was found dead in his hotel room this morning.

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The 72 year old “Kill Bill” star was in Bangkok filming his latest movie. Filming began on June 2nd and when he didn’t show up for dinner on June 3rd the crew and friends assumed he was just resting in his room at Park Nai Lert Hotel.

A hotel maid stumbled upon Carradine around 10 a.m. this morning half nude and bound in rope. One report by BBC states that rope was around his neck and “other parts of his body.” (Everyone experiments so don’t judge.) Most are reporting that he committed suicide. However, questions are being presented and an official cause of death has not been established.

He had been found in a closet which leads me to believe that this wasn’t suicide. Police are leaning towards suicide and say that he had been dead for more than 12 hours and could find no sign of fighting or assault. They also stated that he had been hung by a cord from the room’s curtains. Meanwhile his agent insists that he “was full of life, always wanting to work… a great person.”

What a terrible tragedy and a great loss. Our thoughts and condolences go out to his loved ones.

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Images Via: INF, IMBD

LeAnn Rimes Stalking Eddie Cibrian

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Woah – Snap! LeAnn Rimes is now being called a stalker by the wife of Eddie Cibrian, the actor Rimes was accused of having an affair (see those LeAnn Rimes cheating photos by clicking here) with during the filming the Lifetime Original Movie “Northern Lights.” It’s been two months since Eddie ended his affair with Rimes, but that’s not stopping his wife Brandi Glanville from standing up for what is rightfully hers, claiming says the country star can’t let go of her obsession with her husband.

Per Us:

“LeAnn is a stalker,” Glanville tells Us. “She refuses to leave us alone — it is shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance. LeAnn is so desperate for fame she has left her self-respect in the gutter and doesn’t care who she hurts to get what she wants — She’s hurting my family and messing with the wrong mom.”

Leann, who is currently married to Dean Sheremet, first met Eddie on the set of their Lifetime movie earlier this year. Their affair in mid March came to light with a video of the two kissing at a restaurant. Leann and Eddie are also said to have been busted on a three hour tryst at a hotel together around that time. Glanville, who has been married to Cibrian since 2001, says her husband changed his phone number about a month ago in hopes of ending LeAnn’s endless calls and texts. But whats a mistress to do then? Why, counter this move in true psycho mode, of course… by intentionally tracking Eddie down at a Lakers game on May 17th. With two children with Cibrian, Brandi says she is happy and will fight for what she has. Calling LeAnn’s behavior “disgusting”, Brandi believes that the singer is doing this to get back into the spotlight.

Is Leann a jilted lover who is refusing to let go or is Brandi fooling herself as she tries to keep her family together? Rumor has it Leann was supposed to be in Florida for a concert the weekend of the 17th, but cancelled at the last minute claiming she lost her voice. Then low and behold, she’s at the Laker’s game. Leann has all of the makings of a stalker considering all of her past issues… Get her Brandi!

What Others Said:

Dlisted- “If you see a car with an “Attention: Can I Get Some?” bumper sticker, that’s Brandi. Wave hello and shout out the lyrics to “Can’t Fight the Moonlight.”

Crabbies Hollywood – “It was a scene straight out of Springer I bet. “Crazy Country Hos and the Men They Can’t Keep Their Tits Off of.” Mindy McCready has been giving her pointers.”

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Images Via: Us