Lady Gaga is Weight Obsessed and Drug Fueled Bomb

According to Ian Halperin, same guy who brought us Angelina Jolie’s tell-all about her penchant for latex and voodoo sex, Lady Gaga is a “ticking time bomb” that lives on drugs and Twinings Earl Grey Tea.

Ian “reveals” that Gaga munches on pills, pot and booze instead of eating proper food. She has always been open about her drug use so this is hardly tripping my shocked face.

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Madonna Dumped by Jesus

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After just recently being rumored to be trying for a baby (read about that here), Madonna and boy-toy Jesus Luz have reportedly split. The Brazilian underwear model called off their relationship, citing their age difference and basically having nothing in common.

Per Sun Times:

It not only was totally amicable, but it was Luz who initiated the split. Apparently, the 23-year-old Brazilian realized their age difference (she’s 51) and overall lack of mutual interests nixed a long-term relationship.

Fueling the break up rumor even more, author Ian Halperin claimed that Madonna was recently caught making out with mid seventies man, who is allegedly a retired Wall Street exec, at the Kabbalah center.

Per Ian Undercover:

Sources close to the singer said the Material Girl is tired of dating “shallowless toy boys”. The older man, a retired Wall Street exec, has been a regular at the center for almost 20 years, according to one of the centers’ longtime practitioners. “They’re definitely an item,” the source confirmed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go check on my Grampy Marty and make sure he doesn’t have Madge secretly bringing him fruit cups.

Angelina Jolie Cheated on Brad Pitt with Lady Gaga

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Ian Halperin, author of the tell-all “Brangelina,” is insistent that Angelina Jolie and Lady Gaga hooked up at a hotel last night.

A source close to the actress told IUC late last night that there was recently a secret rendez vous between the two at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel that lasted all night. Apparently, Angie is obsessed with Lady GaGa. Still, I reserve judgment on this one until I see more proof. Developing…

Why not? They both have equal opportunity crotches. I am sure that we could guess the ending to this. Angie will shave Brad’s horrid chin beard in his sleep and then slip on her favorite pleather body suit and ran off to marry Gaga in a ceremony officiated by Tiger Woods and feature Robert Pattinson as the best man.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ‘Definitely Split’

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Nothing says trouble in paradise like buying your own home, without your partner. Brad Pitt bought the house next door he shares with Angelina Jolie for $1.1 million to help him sort out their split. The home is a 3,232-square foot 20’s era home that has two bedrooms & two bathrooms, a bar area, and even has a secret cave!

Per DailyMail:

‘The house oozes character,’ said a source. ‘Brad has had his eye on it for some time but he decided now was the right time to buy because he wanted a place to call his own. He needs somewhere quiet that doesn’t have memories of Angie and where he can be alone and think about what he does next.’

Author of the book “Brangelina,” Ian Halperin, had originally predicted the end of the famous couple and says that he himself has confirmed they have definitely split, speculating on how he feels the drama will unfold in the media over the next couple of weeks.

Per PopEater:

“My sources clearly say they’re estranged, they kept it quiet because they want to work out something conducive to the well being of the children and I think that’s a commendable way of dealing with it.”

“Either they confirm it, or they appear in the public shortly, probably in the next week, sending the public a message that the rumors are bogus. And then you’ll soon start to see more intensity in the stories, some in the mainstream press citing that they’ve definitely split, and that will happen in in the next few weeks.”

“I have confirmed from one person in the house and one of his closest friends that they have definitely split. And that’s split romantically. That doesn’t mean they don’t have business together, they’re still going to have joint custody of the children, but romantically it appears they’re estranged.”

Meanwhile, Pitt’s mother, who has made no secret of her preference of his first wife Jennifer Aniston to Jolie, is now trying to desperately help to save their relationship for the sake of their six children. She reportedly feels like she can really help the couple work out their problems and move forward together. It was recently reported that Pitt and Jolie – who have three adopted children as well as three biological kids – were heading for a split after signing a legal document which equally split their $330 million fortune and custody of their kids. However, sources close to the couple denied this and insisted “everything was fine” between them. Yet, no denial from the famous power-couple themselves. I guess time will tell for sure, but if I was a betting woman I would bet everything I have that on Halperin’s prediction. He did predict Michael Jacksons passing, after all!

Michael Jackson Dying of Lung Condition – UPDATED

Is ‘Blanket’ going to have to go live with Angelina Jolie and the rest of her rainbow nation? According to a story told by the author of Michael’s new autobiography, the Jackson babies will be without a daddy. Apparently he is slowly dwindling toward death. He is in need of a lung transplant in order to save his life according to a writer undertaking a biography of the singer.

Ian Halperin is behind a new book detailing the life of 50 year old Michael Jackson. In the biography, health issues are outlined and range from Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency to emphysema. The first condition is a possible fatal genetic illness which requires a lung transplant in Jacko’s case.

Via: The Sun

“He has had Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency for years, but it’s gotten worse. He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it. He also has emphysema and chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, which his doctors have had a lot of trouble stopping. He can barely speak, the vision in his left eye has 95 per cent.”

“For years Michael has been working with doctors to make sure it doesn’t progress. He has been on medications that have stabilised him.”

Jermaine Jackson confirmed to Fox News that his brother isn’t doing well and is indeed sick. Ian comes from a decent and pretty reputable writing background he was a writer for “Rolling Stone” magazine. He is an investigative journalist known for “Celine Dion: Behind the Fairytale,” as well as “Fire and Rain: The James Taylor Story” and “Hollywood Undercover.”

UPDATE:

Reps for Michael Jackson have finally called BS on Ian Halperin’s claims of Michaels lung issues. Ian’s work is an unauthorized biography and the statements he released to British newspapers are “total fabrication” according to the singer’s spokesman. According to Reuters the writer is up the creek of “untruths.”

“Concerning this author’s allegations, we would hope in the future that legitimate media will not continue to be exploited by such an obvious attempt to promote this unauthorized ‘biography,’” said the statement attributed to Tohme.

The writer’s wild allegations concerning Mr. Jackson’s health are a total fabrication,” the statement said. “Mr. Jackson is in fine health and finalizing negotiations with a major entertainment company and television network for both a world tour and a series of specials and appearances.”

Put the candles away and stop the prayer chains. Michael is even planning on touring…crazy masks and all. It looks like those old rumors of the Jackson 5 reuniting might not be completely out of the question. On a side note… it looks like Ian will be back working 3rd shift at “Taco Bell.”

Image Via: Splash