Is it 1993 again and my mother is pledging her undying love to the radio as visions of Michael Bolton’s mane dance through her head? (Michael Bolton’s SNL ‘Jack Sparrow’ video after the cut. Click ‘Read More…” Below to watch.)
Johnny Depp Says Angelina Jolie is ‘Incredibly Normal’
November 30, 2010 By 1 Comment
Well of course he isn’t going to tell Vanity Fair that Angelina Jolie is nuttier than squirrel poo and has a voodoo vagina that can swallow a man whole. Of course, Depp has rarely been hesitant to speak his mind. So I am at a draw.
Johnny Depp spoke with the magazine about his career trials and tribulations. One of them was meeting and costarring with Angelina Jolie for “The Tourist.” He admits he was nervous to meet her, but asserts that he was pleasantly surprised.
“You don’t know what she might be like—if she has any sense of humor at all. I was so pleased to find that she is incredibly normal, and has a wonderfully kind of dark, perverse sense of humor.”
Depp didn’t stop there when it came to singing the praises of Angie. He compared her traits to that of one of the world’s beloved icons.
“I’ve had the honor and the pleasure and gift of having known Elizabeth Taylor for a number of years,” he says. “You know, you sit down with her, she slings hash, she sits there and cusses like a sailor, and she’s hilarious. Angie’s got the same kind of thing, you know, the same approach.”
I am guessing her confused her offer to dress up in a latex Miss Piggie outfit while he filled a bathtub full of Jello to wrestle in as ‘perverse humor.’ (Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. Everyone has had those offers where you giggle nervously and wave as you turn the corner and run like a mother of 8 after the last Tickle Me Whatever Toy on Black Friday.)
Aside from the rumors that Jolie was trying to seduce Depp on set, Johnny also mentions his portrayal of Jack Sparrow worried Disney big-wigs to the point they accused him of ruining the film.
“They couldn’t stand him. They just couldn’t stand him. I think it was Michael Eisner, the head of Disney at the time, who was quoted as saying, ‘He’s ruining the movie.’ Depp reveals to Smith, however, that he remained unfazed by the studio’s hysteria. “Upper-echelon Disney-ites, going, What’s wrong with him? Is he, you know, like some kind of weird simpleton? Is he drunk? By the way, is he gay?… And so I actually told this woman who was the Disney-ite… ‘But didn’t you know that all my characters are gay?’ Which really made her nervous.”
Whatever Disney. I am pretty sure Jack the Ambiguously Gay Lush Sparrow has nothing on the slew of Disney starlets visiting rehab like it’s Costco.
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Johnny Depp NOT Dead – Latest Victim Of Death Hoax
January 25, 2010 By 2 Comments
This is what happens when fools living in their mom’s basement takes over the job of real news reporting! After being induced to sleep last night with the help of my friend Bloody Mary, I was awoken to a barrage of text messages from family members and friends claiming Johnny Depp was dead! Oh no, I thought, and I jumped out of bed and stumbled my drunken tail to the computer to find out for myself only to see that its not true. Johnny Depp is NOT dead! Instead, Mr. Depp is the latest celebrity to be hit by the death hoax. Phew! I would have hated for 2010 to start off with the death of the ‘Sexiest Man Alive.’
Per E!:
“He isn’t dead,” Depp’s rep, Robin Baum, told E! News. “He’s fine.”
According to reports, a website made a fake web page for CNN News with the headline “Johnny Depp Dies After Fatal Car Crash,” claiming his car was found alongside a road outside Bordeaux, France, with the guard rail embedded deep inside the car. Images of the supposed car wreckage were also posted with the so-called news. The website claimed that CNN’s Melissa Gray and Harris Whitback wrote this report, but there were many obvious mistakes that made it clear they didn’t. Not only did the dateline of the fraud web page say March 25, 2004, but right after it said ‘alcohol’ caused the incident, there was a story below it about British explorers who escaped from caves in Mexico, which nowhere linked to the story. Whoever the losers are with apparently no life who had the time to come up with the story, it apparently worked at least for a while, as fans have been tweeting “RIP Johnny Depp,” making it a Twitter trending topic.
The good news is our beloved Jack Sparrow is still alive and kicking. The bad news is the people behind the fake story should consider going into hiding for the next couple of months. God knows what his fans will do to the people behind the site if they find them!
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Images Via: WENN.com
Robert Pattinson or Michael Cera to be New Spiderman !?!
January 12, 2010 By 8 Comments
“Spider-Man 4” has come to a halt, bringing along a huge vacancy in the film franchise world. Sam Raimi is gone as director, along with the films stars Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. But now that the studio needs to basically start from square one, the main question on everyone’s mind is who will be stepping into Spidey’s suit? Already, names such as Robert Pattinson, Channing Tatum, and Kellen Lutz are being thrown around as possible replacements.
Per EntertainmentWise:
Rob faces competition for the role from Michael Cera, according to the Daily Record.
Wow, Michael Cera too? Really? Just doesn’t seem to fit for me. And neither does Pattinson. His plate is already full at the moment, with shooting for “Bel Ami” scheduled to start in February, “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” press tour scheduled to start in the spring, and a rumored fall start date for shooting “Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.” No matter what role it is, Pattinsons name seems to always pop up as a potential casting, most notably when he was rumored to be playing Jack Sparrows’ brother in “Pirates of the Caribbean 4.” (Read about that here.) According to the studio, its going to take quite a while to retool Spiderman 4, so the expected May 2011 premiere date seems to be thrown out the window. Its also too soon to be throwing any names into the ring for Maguire’s replacement, so for now we’ll just chalk up the Pattinson interest to wishful thinking!
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Images Via: WENN.com
Robert Pattinson to Play Jack Sparrow’s Brother in Pirates of the Caribbean 4?
December 16, 2008 By 54 Comments
Rumors are flying that the sexiest vampire in town is set to replace Russell Brand in the next installment of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films.
“Pirates of the Caribbean 4” is still in the planning process. Quite rumblings have been going on since the success of the trilogy. Johnny Depp has already expressed his desire to return to his beloved pirate character, Captian Jack Sparrow. Geoffrey Rush, Captain Barbossa, and Gore Verbinski, director, have also pledged their alliance to another “Pirates” installment. However, don’t be looking for Orlando Bloom to renew his role as Will Turner. Keira Knightley will also be forgotten in the new film. The plot is due to center solely around Jack Sparrow according to My Park Mag UK. Several scenarios are still being thrown around. The latest is and addition to the Sparrow family tree. Jack will get a brother.
Russell Brand was said to be in the running along with Zac Efron, but after Brand perturbed in the Disney kingdom by slamming the Jonas Brothers and their dedication to chastity…he is due to be replaced. Current front runner is the new hotness, Robert Pattinson. With his massive and still growing fan base, Disney wants his appeal to ensure the success of another pirate movie. Fingers are crossed for a 2011 start date.
Sign me up. Who doesn’t have Johnny Depp pirate fantasies? Don’t pretend like you don’t want to have his dirty pirate babies. Add R.Patz to the fantasy….wet naps will be handed out at the ticket booth.
UPDATE – After finally hearing back from a rep…Disney is denying any confirmation that Pattinson will be involved. Looks like we will have to wait and see. Currently the movie idea is still in the planning phase and casting, other than those already secured in previous roles, is still being toyed with.
Images Via: Rolling Stone
