Joaquin Phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix ‘I’m Still Here’ Trailer – VIDEO

August 17, 2010 By Cara Leave a Comment

Joaquin Phoenix dipped himself in Rogaine and “retired” from acting to become the worst fake rapper the world has ever seen. Meanwhile, Casey Affleck was busy getting drunk and molesting the film crew. It’s real Oscar material. Below is the trailer for lukewarm mess “I’m Still Here.”

Did you waste nearly a full minute of your life listening to a Kill Bill reject talking about drops of water and Joaquin’s hair seducing you to attack it with a bottle of Rid and scissors? This budget flick hits theaters in a hobo village near you on September 10th.

I blame Ben Affleck for this. If he never would have hit it big with Matt Damon hunting good will then Casey never would have ridden his coattails to fame.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Filed Under: Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Health, Drugs and Alcohol, Joaquin Phoenix, Movies, WTF?!? Tagged With: Casey Affleck, I’m Still Here, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix ‘I’m Still Here’ Trailer - VIDEO

Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary Features Poop, Male Nudity and Oral Sex

May 10, 2010 By Crista Webster 2 Comments

Poop? Oral Sex? Full-frontal male nudity? No kittens, it’s not the Dame’s Annual Summer Kick-Off Party, but rather what you will find if you care to view the Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary: “I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix.”

While some distributors are still speculating about the authenticity of Phoenix’s actions, we showed you photographic evidence last week that the Casey Affleck directed documentary was a total hoax (CLICK HERE to see the incriminating pictures).

However, turns out the movie is a little unsettling for some people due to the graphic nature of some of the scenes.

Via The LA Times:

“Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.”

There are also scenes that show Phoenix snorting cocoaine and receiving oral sex from a publicist.

I predict the rights will be purchased by CBS and the title changed to CSI: Douchebag.

Filed Under: Celebrity Crime, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Health, Drugs and Alcohol, Joaquin Phoenix, Movies Tagged With: I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Pheonix Beard, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary, Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary Features Poop, Joaquin Phoenix Scandal, Joquin Phoenix Casey Afflect Mockumentary, Male Nudity and Oral Sex

Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary For Sale, Hidden Mic Photo

May 6, 2010 By Crista Webster 1 Comment

The, um, much anticipated mockumentary chronicling Joaquin Phoenix’s descent from acting into the world of homeless hip-hop is currently for sale. Something tells me this will be on the Loehman’s Bargain Table tomorrow morning.

Directed by Casey Affleck, Phoenix’s documentary was recently shown to Hollywood Big Wigs in the hopes of find distribution.

Via Deadline New York:

“I’m told that the film made its debut in a private lunchtime screening at WME headquarters last week for buyers — including Harvey Weinstein — who were sworn to secrecy. WME is selling the film, and it may only take a couple of days to reach a deal. I hear the agency and the distributors intend to keep the mock’s content under wraps for as long as they can for maximum shock value.”

The mock supposedly reveals whether or not Phoenix’s decision to leave acting to pursue his dream of becoming a hip-hop artist was real. In case you’ve forgotten, Joaquin grew a beard, ignored David Letterman during an interview, and later performed a hip hop number that ended with him falling off the stage into a crowd of people in a Las Vegas nightclub.

Shortly after Phoenix had appeared to fall off the deep end and media pointed the finger at his drug and substance problems. It was heartbreaking to watch as he appeared to be traveling a troubled path that took his brother’s life. Joaquin was even the one to make the panicked 911 call as River Phoenix suffered slipped away after an overdose of heroin and coke. However, as The Dame was digging through photos, she came across a picture revealing a mic hidden under Phoenix’s tie (see below) the same day he made his foray into rap.

So take that tidbit as you will, but I sincerely hope a “mockumentary” is not what is being sold. Seems tacky and cold. Lets hope it is more aimed at the media being a bunch of gullible whores.

What? Truth hurts baby!

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Filed Under: Celebrity Gossip, Joaquin Phoenix, WTF?!? Tagged With: Casey Affleck, Casey Affleck Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phioenix Hip Hop Singer, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix Documentary, Joaquin Phoenix Las Vegas Hip Hop Video, Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary

Joaquin Phoenix Goes Crazy While Buying a Cape

August 7, 2009 By Cara Leave a Comment

There is nothing wrong with cape shopping. Batman, Superman and Elvis all have to get new threads at some point. However, Joaquin Phoenix has been acting nuttier than squirrel shiz lately. He claimed to have ditched acting for a career in rap, started wearing EZ Combs and waged a war against personal hygiene. (Which begs me to ask the question why is bathing the first to go when one goes crazy?) Phoenix also made a bizarre appearance on David Letterman awhile back (click HERE to see the crazy Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman Video.)

Most people are claiming it is just an act for some Casey Affleck documentary. However, I am finding that a hard sell. Casey is married to Joaquin’s sister, Summer Phoenix. I highly doubt that she would let Casey film and make documentary of her brother’s downward spiral. Either way, lets hope he gets help.

Per National Enquirer Via Celebitchy:

It’s no hoax, folks – Joaquin Phoenix is one nutty fruitcake! The looney-toony star, dressed like a homeless derelict and muttering to himself nonstop, was spotted pawing through racks of clothes at Red Balls on Melrose, where he finally grabbed a black velvet cape, black trousers and mesh top, ducked into a dressing room – and began belting rap songs.

Emerging in his new outfit, he told the salesgirl he’d be wearing it home. Nervous, she asked: “What form of payment will you be using today, sir?”… then nearly jumped out of her skin when Phoenix banged down a wad of cash and yelled: “MONEY!”

Said an eyewitness: “He mumbled madly while the girl counted out his change and offered him a bag for his own clothes. Joaquin never said a word, rushed out of the store wearing his velvet cape – and dumped his old clothes in the nearest trash can!”

Maybe he was off to seduce Lindsay Lohan, she strikes me as someone who loves a ho in a cape.

Image Via: Johnny Louis/wenn.com

Filed Under: Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Health, Drugs and Alcohol, Joaquin Phoenix, WTF?!? Tagged With: cape, Casey Affleck documentary, Crazy, Joaquin Phoenix, joaquin phoenix rap, Rap, Rapping, real madrid vs toronto highlights, Shopping, Summer Phoenix, wakeen phoenix, wakim phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix Attacks a Fan – Video

March 12, 2009 By Crista Webster 2 Comments

Just when you think Joaquin Phoenix has gone off the deep end, he shows you there are still a few more feet left for him to dive…literally.

While ‘performing’ at LIV nightclub at the Fountainbleau in Miami, Phoenix began exchanging insults with a paid actor fan near the front row.

Via TMZ.com:

“Phoenix [told] the heckler, ‘I’ve got millions of dollars in my f**king bank account. What do you got?’”

I am guessing the heckler retorted “self respect and a working shower” because Phoenix then jumped from the stage and began punching the man who has suspiciously not yet pressed charges. Someone may want to remind Phoenix that the money he earned making “Walk the Line” was blown on beard combs and rubber-bands for his hair.

Naturally while all this was happening, Phoenix’s BFF Casey Affleck was in the wings filming his documentary. Not wanting to chip a nail on his recently manicured hands, Affleck kept filming as opposed to rushing in to help, adding even more fuel to the theory that Joaquin is merely doing this for sport.

Filed Under: Celebrity Crime, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Quotes, Joaquin Phoenix, Movies, Music, WTF?!? Tagged With: Assult, Casey Affleck, Documentary, Heckle, Joaquin Phoenix, Performing, Punch, Rap, stage, TMZ

The Best and Worst Oscar Moments

February 23, 2009 By Crista Webster 5 Comments

While I am pretty much a nobody, I couldn’t help but give my two cents on last night’s Oscar ceremony. Here is my opinion of the best and worst Oscar highlights:

The Worst:

-The Fashion: While I am not an expert when it comes to fashion like the Dame, I have to say that Beyonce looked like a Tranny Mess on the red carpet. Her looked was usurped only by Mickey Rourke, who I swear is Pat, the lesbian that lives down the street from me. Jessica Biel looked like she was waiting for lobster to be served; she came complete with her own bib.

- The Pre-Show Bru-ha-ha: I couldn’t bear to spend more than 30 seconds looking at Lisa Rinna on the red carpet, so I was stuck dealing with pretty Ryan Seacrest and What’s-Her-Face over on E! Ryan naturally dazzled with the most awkward line of questions, but no moment was as stellar as Seacrest speaking with the kids from “Slumdog Millionaire”…who didn’t speak English…at all. Ryan’s answer to this: ask the same question again, REALLY LOUD, then smile and ask some more questions after you’ve been told they don’t speak English. This ranks up there with Seacrest trying to high five blind guys on “American Idol.”

- Mickey Rourke loses best actor award to Sean Penn: In all honesty, I didn’t see either of their performances. However, I had $20 on the amount of F bombs Rourke would drop in his acceptance speech. Since he lost, I am out the $20 and saddened that I will never know the answer.

-Tilda Swinton eyebrowlessness: Good gracious! When the ladies presenting the Best Supporting Actress Oscar came out, I nearly had a stroke. The camera hit Swinton and I thought an emaciated Gwyneth Paltrow had come to take my soul! For a moment, I thought she was dead and they were just propping her up there “Weekend At Bernie’s” style. Honestly, where did your eyebrows go? Find them before next year or don’t come back!

- Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens sing with Hugh Jackman, Beyonce, and two people who were in “Mama Mia,” I guess: Their revival of “The Musical” only made me want to burn my copy of Grease, pour acid in my ears, and sell my soul in order for it to end. Honestly, there wasn’t enough wine in Napa for me to make it through that montage. Thankfully, the child-proof cap prevented me from getting the pills open before it ended. Hugh, you owe me eight minutes of my life back.

The Best:

-Sank You: Only a few awards into the evening, a little man who barely spoke English won an Oscar. I feel like a complete tool because I can’t remember his name or the award. All I remember was his smile and his repeating “Sank you!” over and over. It was nice.

-Angelina gives Jen a smile: There was no couple on the red carpet more awkward than Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. In fact, Seth Rogan had better chemistry with Judd Apatow who was there with his wife. During the award for best animated film, the camera cut to Angie just in time for us to see her throw a smile in Jennifer Aniston’s direction. My conclusion-she was smiling at her Kung-Fu Panda co-star, Jack Black while asking herself, “Why the hell is she wearing a braid in her hair?” about Aniston.

- Robert Pattinson on the red carpet, presenting, and starring in my dirty dream that night: I am sorry. I know he’s barely been in anything, he’s dirty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Say what you will, the Oscar producers knew what they were doing by asking him to attend. I can name eight people who watched the show just to see him in a tux and clean (and I am not counting the voices in my head). I didn’t see anyone else from “Twilight” there. You want to know why? Because he is hot. Thank you.

- Ben Stiller does Joaquin Phoenix: Stiller has these moments of bloody brilliance and this was one of them. Occasionally he will do something that appears no one else gets. Many of the celebrities at the Oscars last night didn’t seem to get his joke either out of “respect” for Phoenix or because they are too lame to watch Letterman or read the Dame. I got it. And it was funny. Well played Mr. Stiller, well played. It was the only moment of the night that made me laugh hard enough to nearly spill the wine…nearly.

Image Via: Splash, Wenn

Filed Under: Awards, Beyonce, Celebrity Couples, Celebrity Fashion, Celebrity Gossip, Designers, Fashion Disaster, Fashion News, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, Joaquin Phoenix, John Mayer, Movies, Oscars, Robert Pattinson, Television, Vanessa Hudgens, WTF?!?, Zac Efron Tagged With: "Brangelina", 81st Academy Awards, Academy Awards, Ben Stiller, Beyonce, Fashion, Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, Joaquin Phoenix, John Mayer, Mickey Rourke, Oscars, Robert Pattinson, Tilda Swinton, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron

Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman – Video

February 12, 2009 By Cara 2 Comments

WTF? Joaquin Phoenix crawled off a park bench, put on a suit and went on Letterman. He was apparently high on peyote and looked like he smelled funny.

David Letterman’s Late Show tried to talk to him about his movies and decision to leave acting. He mumbled one or two word answers and was offended by just about everything that was said. Eventually he finally got so offended he put his gum under Letterman’s desk.

At least he is a quiet drunk/stoner/crazy. If I were that hopped up after sniffing air plane glue and doing a shot of Tilex I’d be doing show tunes with the audience and asking Letterman to got get Taco Bell with me.

What Others Said:

Gawker - “Again, celebrities: Dave doesn’t want to rip you to shreds on national television, but if you’re not going to help him fill the 10 minutes or whatever, he has no choice.”

L.A. Rag Mag- “David Letterman just does NOT give a shit anymore. If you’re a celebrity that wants to be roasted, and ridiculed, go on his show because he’s retiring and saying whatever he wants.”

Filed Under: Celebrity Gossip, David Letterman, Drugs and Alcohol, Joaquin Phoenix, Television, Videos, WTF?!? Tagged With: David Letterman, Joaquin Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman Video, joaquin phoenix rap, real madrid vs toronto highlights, wakeen phoenix, wakim phoenix, weird

Gwyneth Paltrow Topless – Photos

January 21, 2009 By Crista Webster 1 Comment

Before he became the newest rap sensation, Joaquin Pheonix was just another working actor. His next film “Two Lovers,” which is due out in March, pairs the Grizzlie Adams look-a-like with everyone’s favorite American yawn, I mean actress, Gwyneth Paltrow.

In the movie, Joaquin’s character Leonard moves in with his parents and then spends his time peeping on an all too willing Paltrow who lives nearby. The controversy, if you can call it that, surrounding this movie is that Gwynnie Pooh exposes her bosom during a phone sex scene with Phoenix. Ooohhh! How naughty.

Via The Sun:

“[Gwyneth’s character] attempts to lure Leonard with some saucy antics, including phone sex and another scene of red hot bedroom action.”

Wait a second!! Phone sex? Red hot bedroom action? Gwyneth Paltrow’s boob? I suddenly feel like I am back in college. Honestly, Paltrow’s boobs are so ten years ago. I guess I should count my blessings; there is no mention of Joaquin Phoenix being topless in the film.

*The NSFW Photo of Gwyneth Paltrow is After the Fold, Click “Read More…”

Joaquin Phoenix Rapping – Video

January 19, 2009 By Holly Stafford 1 Comment

No folks, that title isn’t a mistake. After announcing his retirement in October from acting, Joaquin Phoenix has since decided to try his hand at a rap career, stating that he was ready to put his real self out there and not hide behind movie characters. Sounding more like a comedy movie than reality, Phoenix had so-called Rapper Diddy teach him the how-to’s of rap and Ben Affleck’s baby brother Casey Affleck capturing the night for a documentary about his journey into the music world. Or maybe its just Casey’s way of helping his brother in law through some massive issues he seems to have as of late.

For the skeptical people, Phoenix says he’s serious about his new venture into the rap world. His debut show on Friday night at Lavo in Las Vegas was sensational – if you consider sensational to be scraggly looking bearded man shouting incomprehensible words that are assumed to be rap lines then falling off the stage as he was walking off. Strutting his stuff around the club’s stage, he rapped to the sounds of a drum beat and hopped up and down, pumping his fist in the air during certain lyrics.

Via The Dish Rag:

“This is me saying this is who I am. This is my story. After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there. When I was young I liked punk rock music but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip-hop.”

You tell em, bro! With the crowd cheering him on, Phoenix told the crowd that they ‘held a very special place in his heart’ towards the end of the performance. He said he was ready for the mixed reactions that would come from his performance.

Via People:

“Are there people out there who think I’m a joke? I’m sure there will be. Are there people who think it’s going to suck? Probably, but I can’t worry about that.”

After his unusual three song performance as he was leaving the stage Phoenix fell, falling flat on his rear into the crowd. Later, a relaxed Phoneix spent the rest of the night hugging friends and taking pictures with fans before ending his night around 1:30 a.m. Phoenix’s first album is reportedly being produced by Diddy, with a release date yet to be revealed.

… Joaquin rapping? Diddy producing? Oh my. This just has “disaster” written all over it…

Filed Under: Celebrity Gossip, Joaquin Phoenix, Music, Videos Tagged With: Casey Affleck, Diddy, Drugs, Drunk, Joaquin Phoenix, Las Vegas, Rapping

Joaquin Phoenix Starts Rap Career

January 16, 2009 By Cara 1 Comment

Really? He’s doing this? Ok…

According to NME Joaquin Phoenix is joining forces with new BFF, Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka Diddy, aka P. Diddy, to launch himself into rap. Diddy, Daddy, whatever the hell personality he is today, will produce this adventure. Meanwhile, Casey Affleck will document his experience and turn it into a movie. Joaquin is already scheduled to do a show in Las Vegas.

He recently hung out with Puffy and Casey at an event in Miami looking like the Unibomber. He announced his retirement from acting at a carpeted event to a stunned reporter from Extra. He appeared drunk or high, possibly both. A stunned Casey Affleck also confirmed that he has plans to put out an album.

Worries that he is back on his drug addiction also follow the report of his decision to leave the film world for music. Friends have urged the troubled star to get help and have reached out to him, but find he is unresponsive to their offers.

What is that old cliché? “Match in a gas tank…BOOM BOOM!”