Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian Big Baby News

WAIT!!! Before you wash down those sleeping pills with a bottle of Grey Goose, Khloe Kardashian is NOT pregnant...yet.

While doing press (for what?) newlyweds Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian stopped by the Chelsea Handler Show where Odom revealed that he’s ready to knock-up Khloe much to her surprise.

Via Popeater:

“When Kardashian was asked by host Chelsea Handler if she was pregnant yet, Odom answered: ‘Soon.’”

He then went on to state that he plans on having a baby soon while he wife replied, “Okay.”

Announcing your plans to reproduce with your lover via national television is exactly how I plan to break the same news to Robert Pattinson.

Now, if I can just get enough glitter for my: ‘Knock Me Up Sparklepants’ sign before the taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show...

For tons of photos of Khloe and Lamar click here to go to Popeater

Jaime Pressly and Justin Guarini Marry This Weekend (Not To Each Other)

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Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom aren’t the only ones to sign away their life as they know it this past weekend! “My Name is Earl” actress Jaime Pressly married entertainment lawyer boyfriend Simran Singh this past Saturday. The couple exchanged their wedding vows around 6pm in front of family and friends at the estate of Dick Clark in Malibu on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This was the same spot as Adam Sandlers 2003 wedding. Pressly wore a dress by British designer Jenny Packham.

Justin Guarini’s wedding was another celebrity marriage that took place over weekend. The season 1 runner up on “American Idol” and “The Simpsons” Side Show Bob look alike married fiancee Reina Capodici in a private wedding on Saturday evening in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, at an estate that overlooks the Delaware river. The couple wrote their own vows and shared their words amongst their 50 guests, which included family and friends.

Per People:

“Justin is one of the most deserving people of happiness and love,” Kimberly Caldwell, Guarini’s co-host on the TV Guide Network’s Idol Tonight, tells PEOPLE. “I know he will be an amazing hubby.”

The couple became engaged back in December in Orlando while Guarini was at Disney’s EPCOT Center filming for the American Idol Experience ride at the theme park. Congratulations to both happy couples!

Image Via: Radar

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Wedding Details, Photos

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Well, it looks as the wedding hoax rumors were just that. Khloe Kardashian was married Sunday evening. People reported the details of their wedding ceremony. An over abundance of white roses was the main décor. Khloe carried a bouquet of white nosegay of roses, stephanotis and lilies. She was flanked by her bridesmaids in lavender gowns.

At 5:12 p.m., Kardashian, 25, walked down the outdoor aisle in a Vera Wang gown on the arm of her stepfather, Bruce Jenner, with sisters Kim Kardashian and a pregnant Kourtney Kardashian at her side. The bridal party included half-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner, actresses (and twin sisters) Khadijah and Malika Haqq and actress Lauren London.

Lamar Odom and Kardashian exchanged vows after a month long courtship at the home of Irving Azoff. A 10 piece orchestra played at the ceremony itself and serenaded around 250 guests. Of course Ryan Seacrest left the shire to attend the wedding. Noticeably absent were Odom’s children. His ex, Liza Morales, opted to keep their two children at home.

The klassy affair then transformed into a night club themed reception. Sadly, I am not kidding.

Wedding planner Sharon Sacks created the Hollywood nightclub-themed reception that followed in a tent on the property, fitted with dark wooden walls, white carpeting, silver mirrors and chandeliers. The tables were decorated with tall white centerpieces with lavender touches made of roses, calla lilies and exotic leaves in soaring glass vases.

I hope this looked way better than it sounds. Cameras for the Kardashian circus rolled, capturing the entire event. The ceremony will air on tv and we can all laugh together. Until then, Khloe Kardashian wedding photos are up for grabs at the starting price tag of $300,000. Any takers? How about $15 and tickets to see Kourtney give birth? No?

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Images Via: Faded Youth, Life and Style, Big Pictures

Khloe Kardashian Wedding Hoax

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So the Kardashian sisters in a failed (not to mention lame) attempt to pull the ol’ switch-a-roo on the media has been uncovered. It is reported that Kourntey Kardashian, not Khloe Kardashian, is the one to be wed on Sunday. I am not sure why they would go through so much trouble- allegedly they are even going as far as Lamar Odom throwing a bachelor party…completed with Joe Francis, “Girls Gone Wild” and midget strippers; just when you thought this wedding could not get any worse.

Via Fox News:

“Not everyone in Hollywood believes it, in spite of their over-the-top displays of affection, which FOX411 spies say are awkward at best.

According to our spies, Khloe was not wearing an engagement ring (although she did show off a pair of diamond earrings from Odom) and the two refused to give any interviews, even about non-wedding related material.”

“What are the two waiting for?” on insider wondered. “If they are so in love, why not share?” Singer Mya was overheard telling a pal that she is sure the engagement is “fake” and is nothing more than “publicity stunt” so Khloe can get some attention, since her two sisters seem to be taking it all.

The rumors are that the “reason for this treason” is because of the public’s (i.e. their made up fans) dislike for Scott and if everyone knew that they were the couple who were actually tying the knot, well it would not be such a show, meaning not many people would want to cover it. Of course they are an attention grabbing family, so this would also be a great way to bring more cameras to the wedding and imagine the surprise (and the buzz) surrounding the marriage when it turns out to be Kourtney instead of Khloe.

This family has no morals and if turns out to really be Khloe and Lamar who tie the knot, then by his bachelor’s party it seems he will fit in rather nicely with this attention grabbing clan.

Quotables:

The Superficial - “I’m convinced Kourtney’s the litmus test for one of them to go full Octomom and squeeze out a brood of fame-thirsty rugrats who need mustache waxes at two

Celebslam - ” Frankly, I think that cynic Mya owes Khloe an apology for this outrageous accusation. Khloe isn’t marrying Lamar for the publicity. She’s marrying him for his money.”

MK Rossi

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Images Via: wenn.com

Khloe Kardashian is Going to be a Mommy!

Relax, another Kardashian spawn is not in the works. The youngest of the Kardashian trio is reportedly engaged according to “insiders,” and therefore going to be a stepmother.

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Khloe Kardashian is planning to marry Lamar Odom. They have been dating since this summer and have gotten along so well they are talking about rings.

“Members of the Kardashian family are neither confirming nor denying the wedding plans or a date. A rep for both stars have declined to comment.”

The planned marriage would be the first for Khloé, 25, and Lamar, 29, who had three children with his former longtime girlfriend, Liza Morales. They have a 10-year-old daughter, Destiny, and a 7-year-old son, Lamar Jr. (On June 29, 2006, Odom’s 7-month-old infant son, Jayden, reportedly died from SIDS while sleeping in his crib in New York.)”

He’s a brave, brave man.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Kourtney Kardashian Baby Bump Photos

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I woke up this morning and felt as though I had been ran over by Khloe Kardashian and then laughed forever as Kourtney Kardashian baby bump pictures were in my mail box. She has been milking her pregnancy for everything it’s worth thanks to the tutelage of her younger fame whoring sister, Kim Kardashian. Kourtney told the story of her consideration for abortion (click here to read about that) and didn’t reveal who the baby daddy was until the timing for her show, “Tacky Skanks Invade Miami,” was perfect.

This ho is gorgeous (the dumb ones always are, it’s nature’s way of evening things out) so naturally she gets knocked up by some greasy looking evil twin on a 80’s soap opera. Seriously. I thought these people had money.

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Images Via: Just Jared

Kourtney Kardashian is Knocked-Up

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Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant. Huzzah. Now, someone tell me who she is.

Is she the one who made the sex-tape with Brandy’s brother? Oh, that was Kim Kardashian. Is she the tranny who was all over the rags last week in a bathing suit claiming her thighs are no longer touching thanks to spanx and her refusal to eat for a month? Oh, that was Khloe Kardashian. Is she the one who had so much plastic surgery she now blinks her lips? Oh, that was Bruce Jenner.

Nevertheless, she’s pregnant.

Via E!:

“While the E! reality star confirms she’s pregnant with her first child, Ms. K isn’t revealing too much right now. She’s keeping mum on the daddy’s identity and how far along she is. But the happy news definitely sheds light on some of the things she told me yesterday during my chat with her sister Khloé…
Kourt, 30, refused to say if she and ex-boyfriend Scott Disick are back together. ‘You’re going to have to see on the show,’ she said, referring to ‘Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami’, which debuts this Sunday.”

Oh, she’s the one who got pregant in order to get extra publicity for her reality show. Now I know who she is.

Image Via: Zimbio

Kim Kardashian Pre-Airbrushed Photos

Here’s some more pre-photoshopped celebrity fun kids.

Kim Kardashian was featured in an issue of Complex magazine. The site has a gallery of their photographic conquests on their site. A pre-airbrushed photo of Kim was shown on the site. Must have been an accident by an intern or the new guy. They soon discovered the pic and took it down. It was later replaced with the altered image, but not before Animal discovered it.

This one isn’t completely awful. Everyone gets airbrushed including the wicked witch of the B-List, Jessica Alba. You can see that photoshopped glory by clicking HERE. So Kim has thunder thighs, at least she isn’t crapping out 8 kids for 15 minutes of fame. It could always be worse.

Ok, ok, so it’s no secret that I have a guilty pleasure of Kardashian nuttery. It’s like a deliciously ridiculous version of the Brady Bunch. Instead of a Marsha there is Kim and instead of a loveable maid they have my personal favorite…Khloe Kardashian. She might, just might be able to drink me under the table and uses the f-word as a noun, adjective and verb. That and she seems like the type who’d have your back if you ran into your ex with his new ho at a restaurant. I picture it something to the effect of: “What? He’s sitting there with Tiffany? Big deal. WTF kinda stipper name is that anyway. Her name might as well be Candy Pants or Spreads Like Warm Butter. Besides, he’d still be working the night shift at KFC if it weren‘t for you. So sit your jiggly down and quit biting your nails. Now, let’s get some dim sum and mojitos.”

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Images Via: Complex

Celebrity Quotes: Kardashians

Kim, stop taking pictures of yourself when your sister’s going to jail!

-Kris Jenner in the car with Kim Kardashian as they’re taking her sister, Khloe Kardashian, to jail to serve her sentence.

Image Via: Getty