When “Dancing with the Stars” first began, I was all over the show like white on rice. Maybe it was my love for the dance, or my undying love for Joey McIntyre (who really should have won the first season). Right. It was Joey.

I’ve stuck with the show despite the yawnfest the last two seasons have become. In fact, I have never been as grateful to the manufacturers of the DVR as I was last season when I was able to fast-forward through all of Cloris Leachman’s “dancing”.

Yet here I am again, on the brink of yet another season, eagerly awaiting the news of who made the cast this season and who didn’t (I can always hope Joey will make a comeback). And once again, I am sadly disappointed. This year’s cast looks like a cross between a class reunion of the Betty Ford Clinic, and the Riker’s Island waitlist. Seriously ABC, I thought this was “Dancing with the Stars”?

This season, we will be privy to the dance styling of Ty Murray and his wife Jewel. I haven’t heard from her in years, but I guess she has some reality show on CMT which is the channel I pass on my way to more exciting channels, like C-Span.

We also get Steve-O who is famous for a slew of drug-related arrests and stapling his ass-cheeks together and rapper Lil’ Kim, who I predict will either be naked or in a holding cell by episode four.

There are the usual washed-up athletes, including former NFL player Lawrence Taylor and gymnast Shawn Johnson who, at 17, is the youngest competitor this season. Shouldn’t she be in school or something?

ABC also landed such ‘hot’ actors as Gilles Marini whom I have never heard of and Denise Richard whom I wish I had never heard of.

This is going to be a long, sequenced full season. At least Maksim is back, chest blazing.

See a full list of the “stars” via People.

Image Via: ABC