Pregnant with Married Man’s Baby, Porn Trouble, NFL Memaw Hater : Blind Items

~This barely B list actress who has had some great roles in popcorn movies that bombed is pregnant. She has not announced it yet, not because she is not happy, but because she is still trying to figure out who the father is. Rumor has it that it might be this married B list co-star of one of her bigger bombs. [CD&N]

My Guess: This could many different combos. I’d say Olivia Wilde for the win.

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Jennifer Aniston Secretly Married Justin Theroux ?!

Ooo. This is going to be embarrassing for Star. (Point and laugh if you are that type. I am.) Star magazine has a cover emblazoned with a bright yellow bold title screaming that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are married. Too bad Jen adamantly denied being married, pregnant and dressing up her cats in Burberry Baby Bibs (it’s implied) yesterday.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to Marry

This is pretty much the 875 claim that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married. It’s been a bit of a slow gossip week and Us is going with the ol’ standby of Brangelina cover. When they spun the wheel this week it breezed past break up, Angie snorting coke out of Lord Voldemort’s navel, Brad sending Jennifer Aniston I MISS YOU smoke signals and landed on wedding.

A whopping 3 sources (hobo paid in chicken, drunk girl stumbling out of the club and their former pool boy’s best friend’s cousin – the holy trinity of sources) told the mag that they are finally succumbing to the demands of their children and getting married.

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Wed in India ?!

I have to take my shoes off or bust out my abacus to count how many times Branglenia have been set to get married. This story comes from the Globe and Mail so put on your imagination caps, take a grain of salt and climb on trolley to go to the Neighborhood of Make Believe…Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married.

“After years together as a couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to tie the knot. In an obvious move for a man born in Oklahoma and a woman born in L.A., the pair are planning a Hindu wedding in Jodhpur, India. Actually, it all makes sense. You see, the Hindu priest who will be front and centre at the wedding is reported to have saved Brangelina’s relationship through couples’ yoga and meditation, and so the famous couple is going to get hitched at his ashram.”

The report goes on to describe Katy Perry and Russel Brand’s Indian wedding and how destination weddings are the new rehab. If you believe the Globe then set aside the entire year of 2011 back for their possible wedding date. Although I won’t be booking in India bound airfare anytime soon. At Least not until I hear about about Maddox ordering truck loads of orchids to be delivered to to the Chuck E. Cheese in Jodhpur and a hand tailored Italian pinstripe suite with a pocket square in aqua to offset Shiloh’s eyes.

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Lady Gaga Getting Married !?

Lady Gaga hasn’t been shy in making it known that her work is her true love and her current focus. However, a member for her road crew told The Sun that she wants to get married in the English countryside after she finishes her current tour.

“The roadie said: “Lady GaGa has told everyone she plans to get married. She has said she wants a fairytale wedding in a castle. We finish the European leg in London just before Christmas and the timing is perfect for the wedding. GaGa wants to arrive in a horse-drawn carriage for her castle ceremony in England or Scotland over the festive season.”

She is dating Luc Carl according to reports. He is a self proclaimed “author, night club manager, long distance runner, promoter, musician, DJ, bartender, certified personal trainer, and semi-pro bowler in New York City” according to his Twitter account. He also runs a blog called DrunkDiet in which one post detailed his confusion regarding hand sanitizer. (Not joking.) They had originally dated in 2005 before Gaga launched into fame.

No word on an official Gaga engagements, but I would be holding my breath for one.

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Kate Middleton Cheating on Prince William

Star magazine is making some hefty claims that Kate Middleton is cheating on Prince William. They are reportedly less than a year away from getting married and rumors of infidelity have been swirling. I am pretty sure the rag’s story is based on a single photo in which one of William’s friends is whispering something in Kate’s ear while they were watching Willy play polo. Unless he is said “Thanks for the lovely shag and cup of tea last night. Fancy another go behind that tree over there?” It is all pretty harmless.

In case you don’t have an Eidetic memory, William was reportedly cheating on Kate last month. They have been dating for about 7 years and according to the rumors, Will is allowed to tap some strange whenever he wants. The Enquirer came up with this little diddy:

“Kate is troubled by the disrespectful behavior William has shown her over the last seven years,” blabbed one insider.

“Kate and Wills had just returned from a romantic vacation in the Caribbean four years ago, and a picture of Wills kissing [British pop star] Natasha Hamilton was published in nearly every paper in Britain. All of Kate’s friends and family saw it. It was devastating for her! He didn’t even try to be discreet. That’s what upset Kate most – she thought William was being blatantly disrespectful to her, and she’s still haunted by that photo today.

“And to make matters worse, Kate is now being warned by royal courtiers that she must be prepared for William to follow in his philandering father’s footsteps — and take a mistress. ‘It won’t be IF he does, my dear,’ Kate was told by one of Queen Elizabeth’s advisers. ‘It will be WHEN he does — and then you must simply turn a blind eye.’

Meh. Harry is the hot one and frankly I’d rather be the ho on the side. Get out while you can honey.

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Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper Engaged

Let’s hope another marriage for Squints will last longer than the milk in my fridge and not end with accusations of fraud. Rumors are brewing that Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are getting married.

The proof? Star Mag (via Page Six) was stalking the rom-com star and saw her shopping for Carolina Herrera wedding gowns.

First, Zellweger was photographed last week by Star magazine at the Carolina Herrera boutique in West Hollywood, where a big rack of wedding gowns was wheeled by. After browsing for two hours, she left with a garment bag. “She just kept smiling when asked if she’s getting married,” the weekly reports. Second, she and Cooper had lunch with her parents yesterday at the Tribeca Grand.

This claim makes me scratch my head because I didn’t realize Herrera stocked gowns for members of Skeletor’s army in store. Whateves. Mazel tov.

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Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower Engaged !?!

Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower Kissing

Great gobs of Twihard tears. Here is another rumor that has fangirls everywhere running to their respective sparkle-pire shrines hidden in their closets. Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower are rumored to be engaged. Take a deep breath and put on your kindergarten imagination caps because this comes from the Daily Star (via Digital Spy).

According to the Daily Star, the pair are now engaged to be married.The two were apparently overheard talking about the upcoming wedding at a party in London.

“Bonnie was even showing off her glittering engagement ring,” said a source.

I am sorry sir, but I am not buying this. She is 19 and he is 21. They both have ice cream trucks full of cash and hid their romance for 6 months before confirming to the world that they are making lovey eyes at each other….and now they are getting married? Just in time to start the press pilgrimage for “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (June 30).

Hmmm…I wonder if Jennifer Aniston orchestrated this. Regardless, Wright has been walking around with a diamond ring on her left ring finger and reps merely responded with the ol’ cliche: “We don’t comment on our clients personal lives.”

UPDATE: Rumors have reheated and Jamie Campbell Bower is Twittering about it! CLICK HERE to see the update…

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Prince William and Kate Middleton June Engagement – Video

Here is another engagement rumor. This time it’s a Prince Hot Ginger’s older brother rumored to be getting ready to propose.

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Prince William has been dating Kate Middleton on and off for nearly seven years. She has been said to be playing “Single Ladies” in hopes to convey subliminal messaging circa Zack Morris’ Saved by the Bell attempt to lure Kelly to the dance. Ok, so maybe that is just a guess, but you know that party planning princess is gives him the Put-Ring-On-It look every time he asks for the royal Wheaties.

Via People:

“America’s Today show also joined the royal wedding bandwagon, zeroing in on journalist Tina Brown’s Daily Beast report of Tuesday, in which she cites June 3 and 4 as being “mysteriously blocked out” on the Palace calendar, possibly for the announcement of an engagement – with the Prince, 27, and Middleton, 28, then tying the knot in November.”

Others are poo-pooing on the rumor stating that he isn’t ready and has too much going on in June to be getting down on one knee. He has a trip to Africa planned with his bro, Prince Henry. Subsequently, I will be taking the month of June off to go bag myself some Hot Ginge….

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Rihanna and Matt Kemp Engaged !?!

rihanna-and-matt-kemp-kissing

While most of Hollywood men have gone sex criminal crazy, Matt Kemp is reportedly choosing the path of eternal monogamy (yes kittens, the word monogamy gives me the shivers too). Kemp has reportedly asked Rihanna to marry him. Rihanna and Matt Kemp are engaged says a friend of the couple.

Via Bossip:

“Rihanna and Matt are spending a lot of time together at the couples spot in L.A.. Matt surprised Rihanna last week when he approached her and asked for her hand in marriage. She said yes, but also relayed the message of feeling that this may be too soon and a long engagement should follow.”

Egads. So basically he gave her an engagement ring and she bargained it down to a high school promise ring. Congrats…I think.
Rihanna and Matt have yet to admit they are dating, but numerous photos of them together in a hot tub (click HERE for those) and pictures of Matt grabbing two handfuls of RiRi’s rear (click HERE for those) pretty much are photographic admission. The “Rude Boy” singer also met Kemp’s family early in March after flying from Berlin to Arizona for the weekend.