Megan Fox Fired from Transformers 3

The lady parts version of Kid Rock has been officially axed from the third installment of the alien robot thriller. (Translation: Megan Fox will NOT be in Transformers 3.) Paramount has confirmed that her option to remain in the films wasn’t picked up. Deadline broke the news that Megan Fox was fired from Transformers 3:

“I’ve just learned that Paramount won’t be picking up Megan Fox’s option on Transformers 3 — and that it was “ultimately” director Michael Bay’s decision. (So he gets his revenge for her remark comparing him to “Hitler”.) Right now Bay and writer Ehren Kruger et al are finishing up the script for the threequel and “giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story,” an insider tells me. Bay will start casting immediately for the new female co-star.”

In case you don’t remember the how the bitch factor in this game, here is a quick recap… Whorey McWonkThumb is a pro at biting the hand that feeds. After “Transformers” director Michael Bay plucked her from the trailer park, she repaid him by calling him Hitler in an interview because he made her go look at pyramids while filming instead of letting her sit around creating more verbal gems like: “Zac Efro is the next Elizabeth Taylor” or “I think I could survive a week without eating,” and my personal favorite “Restaurant forks…Putting my mouth where a million other mouths have been, just knowing all the bacteria that you carry in your mouth? Ucch!”

Since then the war between Bay and Fox continued to simmer on the back burner. Finally, Michael and Paramount sprayed Bitch-Be-Gone around the set and are writing Megan’s character out and bringing a new love interest for Shia LaBeouf’s character. Bar Refaeli (Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend), Miranda Kerr (Orlando Bloom’s lady) and Brooklyn Decker were brought in to audition for the opening. However, the role is up for grabs by half the women in Hollywood. Gemma Arterton is supposedly in the front of the pack.

Meanwhile over at Mount Verbal Diarrhea, Fox and her team have cooked up the story that it was her choice to leave. We all laugh and shift awkwardly in our seats as everyone knows that is complete crap. Michael Bay had the final decision from the start, but we can all patronize her. I mean she is now facing the road of irrelevancy and the least we can do is give her a smile and a thanks for your amusing anecdotes, but you have been exiled to Douche Island. (John Mayer is the President. You will receive your blue tooth and welcome guide within a week.)

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Celebrity Virginity Report Card

I have returned from my Pop Tart rehab kittens. So I decided to kick off my toaster pastries free morning with a report on when celebrities lost their virginity. Consider yourself lucky that we don’t have another post on Lindsay Lohan’s drunken ramblings. (We do. I am a tease.)

Tina Fey confirmed her magic number was 24. While on David Letterman the “30 Rock” star stated that waiting so long wasn’t “by choice.”

Matthew McConaughey was a teen when he ventured into the realm of sex. He squealed to Playboy in 2008 that he was just 15, but wanted to be a gentleman and gave no further details.

Paris Hilton was also just 15 when Randy Spelling claims to have first ridden the human STD dispenser.

Sienna Miller said buh-bye to being a virgin at 16. She admitted that she and her mother were very open about her safety and begged her to “do it at home if you are going to do it at all.” (Via Us)

Megan Fox had managed to keep it in her pants until she was 17. She described her first time as “nice” thanks to the fact that she was “in love” when she gave it up.

Tiger Woods and His First Girlfriend

Before Tiger Woods was peeing on hookers, he lost his virginity to a high school girlfriend at the age of 17. “We would wait for my parents to go to bed and then make out on the sofa in front of the television for hours. We were first boyfriend and girlfriend in all sense of the word.” (Via NY Post)

Click “Read More…” To Continue Reading and See What Celeb Says They Lost Their Virginity at Age 8

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Doctors Call BS on Megan Fox

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Megan Fox has taken her big lips a little too far for the medical community. It seems the Transformers actress (?) recently came out claiming the benefits of vinegar detoxing to lose weight .Apparently, her 85 pounds of body is too much.

Via The Hearld Sun:

“It just cleanses out your system entirely. It will get rid of … for women who retain water weight from your menstrual cycle and all that … it gets rid of it really fast.

“I’m not one for dieting or exercising, because I’m lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while ’cause of the amount of sugar I take in.”

However, real heath professionals have stated this as total BS.

Dietician Lucy Jones said, “As attractive as it sounds, there is no magic pill, lotion or potion for a quick fix to weight loss.

“The body, including the liver, is a well-oiled detoxing machine, which will not be improved by vinegar, whether it be organic, apple cider, unfiltered, or your bog-standard malt vinegar.”

It appears it’s time for Fox to find other uses for her vinegar.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Megan Fox & Robert Pattinson Voted Sexiest Stars of 2009

Like this should come as any surprise since they were two of the most searched celebs online!

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At Moviefone.com, 200,000+ fans voted on what they believed to be the sexiest stars of 2009, with Megan Fox with 45% of the votes and Robert Pattinson taking top honors with 46%. Pattinsons’ werewolf buddy Taylor Lautner won for breakout star of the year. Fox also won the honors for worst female performance in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” while Jack Black was named worst male performance in his movie “Year One” – which if you seen the movie, you would totally agree with that decision!

Also not surprising, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” was voted as the year’s champ flick, while “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” was picked as the 2010 film fans are most looking forward to. Oddly, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” was the worst movie of 2009, but also won top spot for the best action movie of the year. Go figure. “The Hangover” rightfully took home the prize for the funniest movie of the year, while Disney’s/Pixar’s movie “Up” won for best animated feature. Sandra Bullock rounds out the list for best performance by an actress prize for “The Blind Side.” You can check out the full list of winners on their website.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Megan Fox Killed Off in Next ‘Transformers’ Thanks to Crazy Diva Behavior

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Megan Fox, best known for her tattoos, ungracious nudity, poor acting, and even worse taste in men, may be losing her bread and butter.

Various sources are reporting that Fox is being cut from the third installment of the Transformers films due to her recent rant against director Michael Bay (if you forgot Fox comparing Bay to Hitler, click here for a refresher).

Via PopCrunch:

“Movie industry insiders tell In Touch Weekly, Michael is considering writing Megan out of the series in a gory death scene in the first few frames of Transformers 3 and replacing with another gorgeous young actress.

‘Michael’s pretty much discovered Megan and now he’s very quietly looking for her replacement,’ the source spilled. ‘He hasn’t decided if he’s going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared.’”

However, before you pervs who care little about the craft of acting start sending us Twilight stayle hate-mail, Fox’s rep is denying the that the actress is on the chopping block.

Via Star Pulse:

“Movie bosses have confirmed the stars will return to film another robot movie, which is due for release in 2011, but rumors have swirled that Fox’s role in the next film will be reduced following a disagreement with director Michael Bay – with internet gossips speculating about a possible death scene.

But a representative for the actress has dismissed rumors her character will be killed off in the third Transformers installment, telling GossipCop.com the reports are ‘not true.’”

One must remember that this rep is banking on Fox staying with this franchise on account of her acting is about as good as my chances of making out with Ryan Gosling while Robert Pattinson feeds me grapes, rubs my feet, and bakes me cookies.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Kelly Osbourne and Megan Fox in Playboy

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Take it with a grain of proverbial salt. Hugh Hefner has been after Megan Fox for his nudey magazine for awhile. While having a bit of a chat, he and his Klingon hoes mentioned they wanted Fox and Kelly Osbourne for Playboy.

Per E! :

Hef simply says, “Megan is a fox.” The 83-year-old media tycoon’s new Girls Next Door—Crystal Harris, 23, and 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon—agree, but they’re just as hot for the looking-better-than-ever Kelly Osbourne…

“She’s losing weight and she’s blond now,” Crystal said of Ozzy and Sharon’s younger daughter. “She looks good. I want to see what she looks like naked.” Karissa concurred: “Yeah! We want to see Kelly Osbourne naked!”

Is it strange I rather see Kelly Osbourne nude over Megan Fox? I kinda picture Megan’s no-no to be 4 feet in diameter and bears its teeth until you sacrifice a goat or woodland creature.

What Really Happened at the VMA’s: A Seat Filler’s Story

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While the majority of people were busy enjoying the douchery of Kanye and the tightness of Russell Brand’s lady pants, the rest of the world had better things to do. Some watched the season finale of ‘True Blood’, some watched football, and some went to bed early.

Although I am way too old to enjoy any part of MTV, I watched. Why? Robert Pattinson my friends….the boy makes it quiver.

A few lucky people had the job of a daytime (you know they are holding out on becomming celeb bloggers) by filling seats at last night’s festivities. And naturally, some of them have already taken to the internet to let us know what was really going down.

Via Oh No They Didn’t:

“*When Lady Gaga came in she was holding hands/being propped up by someone as she walked. She didn’t talk to any of the fans. She was extremely diva like, but in a good way. Instead of being pissed of or offended it was more like people were viewing as an art piece or a rare animal in zoo.

*The house band, I really wish I could remember their damn name, said and-I-quote “Is Tila Tequila here? Heh, tell her to go HOME!”

*Madonna’s “heartfelt” speech was all read off a teleprompter. Obviously.

*When Pete Wentz came in the Hall one of a male seat filler asked where Ashlee was he said Melrose wouldn’t let her take time off.

This adds to my theory that Gaga is really a wax figure on loan from Madame Trousseau’s.

“Kanye was taken aside after the Taylor Swift incident by his handler/manager and then MTV exes joined the conversation. Though I cannot say for sure, I would not be surprised if his apology was not heartfelt at all (cough) but in fact mandated from above. The TV feed does not do justice to how much the audience was booing every time Kanye’s name was said.”

If Kanye’s management wrote that crap he posted on his website, it might be time to purchase his team Hooked on Phonics.

Megan Fox is TINY like not just skinny tiny, but shoulder-to-shoulder tiny.”

One needs to be small to fit in the trailer park.

Ashley Greene kept pestering security to add someone’s number into her phone. They kept on refusing her, much to her chagrin.”

I really hope it wasn’t Kanye’s.

And finally…

“I have not seen the entire TV broadcast but Faye Dunaway was there (wtf?!)”

What? She is a classy and hip broad who probably is after Russell Brand. Just a guess.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Megan Fox Porn Imminent

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According to the crew of “Transformers,” Megan Fox is better off a porn star. In a scathing letter the “Loyal Transformers Crew” fired back at the actress, they call her “dumb as rock” and called her acting “cringe-able.”

“When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) easily another 45 minutes in the chair!”

The irate crew felt compelled to call out Fox after she equated Michael Bay to Hitler in an interview with Wonderland magazine. The infamous and respected director has many loyal friends in the biz and was a terrible move on her part to bite the hand that feeds her. Bay literally pulled her from the trailer park and put her career into motion, the letter points out.

“So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.”

The letter was posted to Michael Bay’s website, but has since been removed and the site temporarily down. The full letter is after the cut do to it’s length, but totally worth the read!

Egads. I guess she would be better off a porn star. She has the rare talent of screwing herself by opening her mouth.

To Read the Entire Megan Fox is Dumb Ho Letter Click “Read More…”

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Images Via: wenn.com

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Megan Fox Denies the World of a Sex Tape

Megan Fox Sex Tape

Dear Megan Fox,
It’s time for you to go away.
Sincerely,
Dame Crista

I have had all the Megan Fox I can stomach. And before you launch into your “You’re just jealous because she’s sooooo hawt!” remark, can it. She’s trashy. And last time I checked, she was banging David Silver from 90210 who was the only guy to get less pootie than Steve when he had his bad hair.

With that said, all you pervs are going to have to wait on seeing Fox’s lady bits as she’s decided to become prim and proper. When asked in an interview if a Fox sex tape will ever service, the actress poo-poo’d the idea (that is until her 15 minutes are up and then she give out handies to the key grip to score a role as an extra).

Via MTV:

“The last thing I want to see [is] what I look like having sex. It would take one shot of me not looking good and I would not be able to have sex ever again, because I would always just see myself looking like a hippo having sex.”

Yes a hippo. A hippo who has, on more than one occasion, bragged about having a 23 inch waist and picks her boyfriend’s nine year-old son up from school in a bare-midriff halter top. ‘Hippo’ sums it up.

As for baring it all in a film? She also says nada to the idea.

“I can’t ever imagine myself doing nudity in a film,” she said. “It lives forever, especially now, with the Internet. I just can’t. I just can’t.”

i.e. Then there would be photographic evidence that I had work done in order to look trailer park chic.

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Images Via: wenn.com

Megan Fox NOT Cast as Catwoman

Professor Whore Whore Face (thanks Michael K) will not be squeezing into pleather and prancing around in a dance of the feline for Batman.

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Rumors running amok yesterday stated that Megan Fox would be the next in line to play Catwoman. The Sun apparently jumped the gun on the announcement as Warner Brothers called them out and said it was all false.

“It’s rumor. It’s not true,” said a studio rep. “There is no script. There is no project to be cast in.”

Rumors of a third “Batman” film have been stewing since the wrap of “The Dark Knight.” Christopher Nolan’s second adaptation grossed over $1 billion in sales on the eve of the Oscars. So it’s no surprise that a third installment. Casting rumors have been floating around for awhile. Johnny Depp was said to be signed on as The Riddler, Philip Seymour Hoffman was set to be the Penguin and (my theory) Maggie Gyllenhaal would reprise in the saga as a reincarnated Catwoman. Gary Oldman, who plays the commissioner for Gotham, hinted at a “Dark Knight” sequel Comic-Con this year stating:

“I think the next ‘Batman’ is next year. We start shooting next year,” he said. Of course, he did go on to add, “You didn’t hear that from me.”

Typically Batman films bore me horizontal. However, these most recent attempts at the superhero films I really enjoyed. (Sans Christian Bale’s odd lisp he develops when speaking as Batman. Am I the only one that bothers?)

Images Via: wenn.com