God help us! Nicole Polizzi aka Snooki from MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ released her first book in stores today. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino released a book recently as well. I know you want to leave work right now and head to the local book store to get both of these gems. Snooki’s book, ‘A Shore Thing,’ is a book all about the quest to find love on the Jersey Shore. Although Snooki isn’t a character in the book, its story line is based on her experiences. But what literary genius will be in the pages of Snooki’s book?
“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
“Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
“Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
I seriously feel like my IQ dropped just reading those quotes. I think it’s safe to say that this is one book I won’t be buying anytime soon. And even if I got a free copy, I still don’t think I’d open it. I’ve read all I need to know – this is garbage!
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