The lady parts version of Kid Rock has been officially axed from the third installment of the alien robot thriller. (Translation: Megan Fox will NOT be in Transformers 3.) Paramount has confirmed that her option to remain in the films wasn’t picked up. Deadline broke the news that Megan Fox was fired from Transformers 3:

“I’ve just learned that Paramount won’t be picking up Megan Fox’s option on Transformers 3 — and that it was “ultimately” director Michael Bay’s decision. (So he gets his revenge for her remark comparing him to “Hitler”.) Right now Bay and writer Ehren Kruger et al are finishing up the script for the threequel and “giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story,” an insider tells me. Bay will start casting immediately for the new female co-star.”

In case you don’t remember the how the bitch factor in this game, here is a quick recap… Whorey McWonkThumb is a pro at biting the hand that feeds. After “Transformers” director Michael Bay plucked her from the trailer park, she repaid him by calling him Hitler in an interview because he made her go look at pyramids while filming instead of letting her sit around creating more verbal gems like: “Zac Efro is the next Elizabeth Taylor” or “I think I could survive a week without eating,” and my personal favorite “Restaurant forks…Putting my mouth where a million other mouths have been, just knowing all the bacteria that you carry in your mouth? Ucch!”

Since then the war between Bay and Fox continued to simmer on the back burner. Finally, Michael and Paramount sprayed Bitch-Be-Gone around the set and are writing Megan’s character out and bringing a new love interest for Shia LaBeouf’s character. Bar Refaeli (Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend), Miranda Kerr (Orlando Bloom’s lady) and Brooklyn Decker were brought in to audition for the opening. However, the role is up for grabs by half the women in Hollywood. Gemma Arterton is supposedly in the front of the pack.

Meanwhile over at Mount Verbal Diarrhea, Fox and her team have cooked up the story that it was her choice to leave. We all laugh and shift awkwardly in our seats as everyone knows that is complete crap. Michael Bay had the final decision from the start, but we can all patronize her. I mean she is now facing the road of irrelevancy and the least we can do is give her a smile and a thanks for your amusing anecdotes, but you have been exiled to Douche Island. (John Mayer is the President. You will receive your blue tooth and welcome guide within a week.)

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