I will be weeping myself to sleep tonight as I finally throw in the towel on Jake Gyllenhaal. He is doing his first musical.

Because no one in Hollywood can come up with original material, New Line Cinema is busting out a silver screen version of the Broadway musical, “Damn Yankees.” According to Variety, Gyllenhaal will star in the film as Joe Boyd, a Yankees fan who sells his soul to the devil in order to help the team win the world series. Jim Carrey is said to be the cast as Satan in this train wreck.

I hate to give up on my long and impure crush on him, but I am pretty sure he is a People magazine cover away from revealing that Reese Witherspoon is just his hag and he is in love with Jordan Knight. Looks like I will have to wait for Jonathan Rhys Meyers to get out of rehab and comfort me.

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Images Via: Towleroad