Ok. For my dahlings with a fetish for all things “Twilight” here is some craptastic promos of the Volturi coven. I would like to apologize for the Twihards I am about to defend but like Brit-Brit preaches: “I calls ‘em like I see’s ‘em.”

Dakota Fanning as Jane – Hot. This is the only Volturi ho I don’t look at the picture and laugh at. It worried me when I heard she was taking the role because Jane had betta be feirce!

Michael Sheen as Aro – Bwhahaha! They gave Count Chocula a makeover and are passing him off as vampire coven king/Disney High School Sitcom Principal. Fail. (I really do love Mikey Sheen though.)

Christopher Heyerdahl as Marcus – Again with the inappropriate laughter. He looks like he was asking, “What should I do with my hands? Is the claw pose to scary? Can you hand me that bottle of Evian. I am parched. Oh wait! I am not ready yet! Awww…too late.” Whateves. He got shorted in the special ability department. Seeing the strength of relationships in people is like a Dr. Phil super power.

Cameron Bright as Alec – Looks pretty fierce. I LOVE his jacket and I wonder if those pants could be tailored around my hips. Personally he fits the part but I am concerned his Candian background will ruin it. “Oh, you know. Me and Jane were out and about, but I forgot my coat and it made us late. Sorry.”

Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius – He is either describing big breasts or big balls. I am not sure which.

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Images Via: ONTD