Thank you sweet, sweet baby Jesus. Everyone can put stop sobbing over their Legolas action figures and stop burning their “Lord of the Rings” memorabilia. Orlando Bloom and his model girlfriend are not engaged. Despite reports of their plans to marry that surfaced of the holiday weekend, there will be no wedding in the near future. Reps for both Miranda Kerr and Bloom are denying the rumors.

“The story … is completely false and misleading,” the rep says. “Miranda herself has clearly stated she is not engaged. There is nothing else to be said.”

Miranda is a Victoria Secret model and he starting to slide down the scale. Of course she isn’t going to marry him. I remember the days where I had that special feeling for him. It was that warm feeling where I’d do anything to ride him around like a miniature pony at the fair.

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Images Via: Bauergriffin