Hollywood's Grand Dame of Gossip and Style
Remember when you were expecting Ryan Gosling giving you sexy time eyes from the cover of People mag’s Sexiest Man Alive issue and all you got was Bradley Cooper giving you Hair Club for Men results photo smile? I hope so because that mess just happened yesterday.
BCooper has been crowned prettiest pretty, pretty princess at People. The mag has named Bradley Cooper Sexiest Man Alive.
This guy is the sexiest beast left roaming the Earth ??? . His name, which must have been pulled out of a hat, was announced this morning on ‘Good Morning America.’
Elin Nordegren is giving good face on the cover of People. She has her hand on her face with a smile that says ”Yes, I heartbroken but my inner strength and huge payday is getting me through it.”
Elin discussed her divorce to the highest rolling trick of 2010, Tiger Woods. A rep clearly helped her craft answers that are PC and won’t stop the flow of cash from Tiger’s bank account.
Via Daily Mail:
“I’ve been through hell. It’s hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden — was it a lie? You’re struggling because it wasn’t real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn’t kill me. I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children.”
Pre-Rep Polished: “My husband is a straight up slut and I wanted to play house. It’s alright though. I have got scratch to buy myself a Barbie Dream House and a staff to do everything from polish my toe nails to check the temperature of a room before I enter it.”
“I felt stupid as more things were revealed. How could I not have known anything? The word ‘betrayal’ isn’t strong enough. I felt embarrassed for having been so deceived. I felt betrayed by many people around me. I never suspected, not a one. For the last three years, when all this was going on, I was home a lot more with pregnancies, then the children and my school. Initially, I thought we had a chance, and we tried really hard.”
Pre-Rep Polished: “His dumbass literally f**ked himself out of our marriage. After the STD danger zone that has become Tiger Woods’ penis, you couldn’t Tilex that shiz enough for me to ride that carnival of herpes.”
“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal.”
Pre-Rep Polished: “I am going to swim in pools of cash and wipe my tears with $100 bills while the kids ride flying ponies and eat gold!”
“I know he is going to go down as the best golfer that ever lived, and rightfully so. I feel privileged to have witnessed a part of his golfing career.”
Pre-Rep Polished: “I know he is going to god down on every waitress in the tri-state area so I feel privileged to have hit that before his peen falls off from rabies.”
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Like my mom used to say: You can’t keep a good dame down!
Despite a few months of hell, Sandra Bullock has bounced back from dealing with her adulterous husband Jesse James, in the form on Louis Bardo Bullock: the baby she’s adopted!
Bullock revealed to People Magazine that she adopted baby Louis with James back in January but decided to keep mum due to the Oscar hullabaloo followed by James’s bedroom escapades.
“He’s just perfect, I can’t even describe him any other way. It’s like he’s always been a part of our lives.”
Though Bullock adopted Louis with James, Lou carries her last name, and has indicated that she is finalizing the adoption as a single parent thus solidifying her impending divorce from the Vanilla Gorilla.
[Black Eye Peas Perform on SNL – Video]
Its been a horrible couple of weeks for Fergie — First, accusations arise from a stripper claiming she slept with the singers husband. Then, her face is being plastered all over various magazine covers, but not in a good way, with headlines reading “Fergie Betrayed” and “Rocked By Scandal” due to the accusations. But this weekend while taking a break from her real life to perform on “Saturday Night Live” she was all but smacked in the face by both the accusations and the magazine covers all over again, when she spied the latest copies of “People” magazine featuring the stories about her husband Josh Duhamel’s‘ reported fling. And she was none to pleased about it!
Per Sun Times:
Fergie, on the show as the musical guest with her Black Eyed Peas, threw “a mini-hissy fit,” said a backstage spy, who added the singer ”looked like s—” and ”was in a big funk,” due to all those troubled marriage tales.
Can’t say I blame her for the hissy fit! I would have made a mini-bonfire backstage on the producers desk with those magazine covers, while dancing around the flame in my underwear and chanting ‘you suck!’ over and over to the person who didn’t have enough decency and common sense to remove the magazines before my arrival!
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Images Via: WENN.com
***More Videos of the Black Eyed Peas on SNL After the Cut. Click “Read More…” to See Them.
There have been multiple rumors recently suggesting that Aerosmith’s frontman Steven Tyler had left the band. And according to guitarist Joe Perry, he is saying something along the same lines, confirming that Tyler is unlikely to perform with the band again.
Per People:
“Steven quit as far as I can tell. I don’t know any more than you do about it,” Perry told the Las Vegas Sun, adding that the singer “has had no contact with me or the other band members”.
Perry’s comments follow those of bandmate Brad Whitford, who last week said that Aerosmith were going to hold ‘crisis talks’ about their future as a band after their relationship with Tyler became strained. Reports say that Tyler told “Classic Rock” magazine, that his next project was unclear, but it would definitely be something “working on the brand myself, Steven Tyler.” Not quite sure what thats supposed to mean, but if Tyler’s appearance in the movie “Be Cool” is anything to go by it will be the very worst thing ever created by a human being in all of mankinds history… Perry claims that Tyler has been cold towards him and he hasn’t heard from him in months, explaining that Tyler has been avoiding the bands phone calls, but they have “learned to live with it.”
“Obviously, he hasn’t been giving 100 percent for a long time,” Perry said. “Frankly, the last few months I’ve been wanting not to rock the boat. I don’t want him cancelling any more gigs. We really wanted to do these last four. We didn’t want to call him out or get him pissed off, for whatever reason. So we just let things lie. I still care for him as a person, or at least the person I used to know,” he said. “But things change. We’ll probably find somebody else, and then we’ll be able to move Aerosmith up a notch.”
But that won’t really be Aerosmith, will it? Sure, it might sound like Sweet Emotion when the new line-up plays it, but if it’s not being wailed out by an old man who looks like a Janice Dickinson mannequin that’s been stitched together out of rejected doll parts and dances like a monkey jacked up on crown and coke, then it’s not going to fool anyone.
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Images Via: WENN.com
Eight-time tennis grand slam winner Andre Agassi has admitted using crystal meth and lying to men’s governing body to escape a ban in the sport in his new memoir titled “Open.” People magazine and Sports Illustrated will run pieces this week from the book ahead of its November 9th release date, but a few details have already been leaked, such as being introduced to the drug by his then-assistant when he was having doubts about his upcoming marriage to Brooke Shields.
Per Lincoln Tribune:
“Slim dumps a small pile of powder on the coffee table. He cuts it, snorts it. He cuts it again. I snort some. I ease back on the couch and consider the Rubicon I’ve just crossed,” Agassi, now 39, was quoted as saying. “There is a moment of regret, followed by vast sadness. Then comes a tidal wave of euphoria that sweeps away every negative thought in my head. I’ve never felt so alive, so hopeful — and I’ve never felt such energy.”
Agassi goes on to talk about a time in 1997 when he received a phone call from the doctor working for the ATP, informing him that he failed a drug test for the class 2 recreational drug which would have guaranteed him a 3-month ban. Thinking quickly, he came up with a lie saying he accidentally drank out of a glass spiked with the drug that belonged to his drug-addicted assistant.
Per Lincoln Tribune:
“My name, my career, everything is now on the line. Whatever I’ve achieved, whatever I’ve worked for, might soon mean nothing. Days later I sit in a hard-backed chair, a legal pad in my lap, and write a letter to the ATP. It’s filled with lies interwoven with bits of truth,” Agassi said. “I feel ashamed, of course. I promise myself that this lie is the end of it,” Agassi recalls saying.
Interesting enough, the sports controlling body took his word for it and never made an investigation into Agassi or his claims. You can bet they will most likely now be pressed into the reasons why they accepted his explanation without questions. In addition to drug use, “Open” also talks about his hair loss, troubled marriage to Shields, and eventually meeting his current wife Steffi Graf. Uncool, Andre. Very uncool. I’m really disappointed that he would choose to sell out like this. If he really wanted to share the meth story to help people or whatever reason he gives, he didn’t have to do it in effort to make a profit. It’s trashy.
Image Via: ABC
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom aren’t the only ones to sign away their life as they know it this past weekend! “My Name is Earl” actress Jaime Pressly married entertainment lawyer boyfriend Simran Singh this past Saturday. The couple exchanged their wedding vows around 6pm in front of family and friends at the estate of Dick Clark in Malibu on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. This was the same spot as Adam Sandlers 2003 wedding. Pressly wore a dress by British designer Jenny Packham.
Justin Guarini’s wedding was another celebrity marriage that took place over weekend. The season 1 runner up on “American Idol” and “The Simpsons” Side Show Bob look alike married fiancee Reina Capodici in a private wedding on Saturday evening in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, at an estate that overlooks the Delaware river. The couple wrote their own vows and shared their words amongst their 50 guests, which included family and friends.
Per People:
“Justin is one of the most deserving people of happiness and love,” Kimberly Caldwell, Guarini’s co-host on the TV Guide Network’s Idol Tonight, tells PEOPLE. “I know he will be an amazing hubby.”
The couple became engaged back in December in Orlando while Guarini was at Disney’s EPCOT Center filming for the American Idol Experience ride at the theme park. Congratulations to both happy couples!
Image Via: Radar
Here is a general round up of the top gossip magazines this week. Of the 6 covers 5 of them center around a the Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston PR wagon.
People magazine features Aniston holding a pup across her shoulders. I am surprised she was down with this because I am there is something in her contracts that forbids anyone prettier than her to be in the same room.
In Touch is running with the Angie VS. Jen war. Yawn. We get it. These two are hate each other. Jolie has a voodoo vagina that stole Brad Pitt because Jennifer has the personality equal to that of tuna casserole. Move along.
Life and Style is going with the baby angle. 461 celebrity babies were “crapped out” this year and get flying ponies for Christmas while they eat gold and end there day taking a dip in the money vault circa Scrooge McDuck. Merry freaking Christmas.
OK! Is getting warmer. Their lure is the Aniston Obsession with Jolie. Now this I believe. Here is my $2.99 sir.
Us Weekly realizes that the Pitt, Jolie, Aniston saga is making people want to hang themselves in the garage, so they went with Jennifer Lopez going ring-less and fighting with Skeletor…er… Marc Anthony.
Star is leaving Rachel Green out of the Jolie-Pitt empire and just claiming to have the prenup details. Who cares about the cash? They are both able to buy their own country and fill it with Cambodian children and Snickers bars. The real issue is the kids. Snooze. Millions of people with kids got divorced. They managed to live with out cutting babies in half.
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Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Clint Eastwood’s speech at Mitt Romney’s GOP convention presented without comment because I like Clint, but I am not a fan of pandering robots.
The Mexican version of Powder and Jennifer Lopez sent a day at the pool with the fam. The couple has faced a plethora of John Travolta style rumors claiming Jlo’s ho is a fan of exotic messages and the men who hand them out above gay peep shows. Jen’s PR team spinned it with a [...]
Good ol’ Life and Style is hollerin’ from Mount BS that Adele had a secret wedding and married Simon Konecki. The rag based their claims on a photo of Adele wearing a “gold wedding band” on her left ring finger. Naturally the mag translated that into a secret wedding filled with “emotional vows” and a [...]
