John Mayer Apologizes (Kinda) and Quits – Video

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Don’t get out your sad faces out for John Mayer. The “Say What You Need to Say” crooner is not quitting music. In fact he “just wants to play his guitar” and wave goodbye to the media.

Mayer unleashed more verbal diarrhea to Playboy magazine in which he managed to offend 60% of the world in one interview. In case you missed it…

He spewed way too much information on his sex life:

*”I don’t think I open myself to it. My d**k is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f**kin’ David Duke c**k. I’m going to start dating separately from my d**k.”
*Described Jessica Simpson as sexual napalm (click HERE for that quote)
*Said that he only made sexy times with Jennifer Aniston a handful of times and said she wants to time travel back to 1998 and be Rachel again. He also affirmed that her hatred of Twitter was one of the reasons they split.

Then the cherry on top of this ice cream sundae that has his publicist standing on a ledge somewhere was his use of the controversial “N” Word.

“Someone asked me the other day, ‘What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?’ And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ni**er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’

His choice in being an unapologetic bag of lady wash has revoked his aforementioned “hood pass” and he is starting to feel the backlash of letting endless piles of poo plop out of his mouth. He made tried to apologize in a statement via his rep (aka Twitter.)

Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.

And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews. It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again. I just wanted to play the guitar for people. Everything else just sort of popped up and I improvised, and kept doubling down on it…”

[John Mayer Concert Apology - Video]

It gets even better as he continues to think his “quest to be clever” made his constant douchebaggery ok. He gave his audience in Nashville a tear ridden apology that was about as genuine as Balloon Boy’s dad. Mayer announced he “quit the media” and a roar of cheers followed.

Take it as a hint Johnny.

Taylor Momsen Doesn’t Give a Toss About Haiti

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Thousands of people have died and the number of people affected by the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Many celebs and other organizations are reaching out with monetary gifts or aid of some kind for the victims and their families. “Gossip Girl” starlet, Taylor Momsen, made it clear she doesn’t give a sh*t about the tragedy.

Via OK!:

“Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

Wow. I mean…I am a straight up bitch who runs on vodka fumes and children’s tears, but this is cold. I bet she couldn’t even find it on a map. I am surprised she didn’t say: “Oh, ya! I have always loved Haiti even since I saw the ‘Lion King.’”

Quoteables:

Celebitchy: “Who wants to smell like Taylor Momsen? What does “Love Rocks” smell like exactly? Vapidity and eyeliner?”

Dlisted – “In Taylor’s defense, I don’t think she can fully see the devastation in Haiti due to the fact that her eyes are covered with about six layers of hardened tar.”

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Images Via: WENN.com

Megan Fox Demands Pot to be Legalized NOW

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After showing up at the MTV Movie Awards doing her best impression of an oil slick, “Transformers” actress Megan Fox is now joining the ranks of other Hollywood types by declaring her love for marijuana.

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While doing an interview for British GQ Magazine, Fox admitted her adoration for the drug and her wish for its potential legalization.

Via StyleCrave:

“I can’t tell you how much bulls**t I’ve been through because I will openly say that I smoke weed. People look at it like it’s this crazy, hippy, f**ked-up thing to do. And it’s not. I hope they legalize it. And when they do, I’ll be the first person in line to buy my pack of joints.”

You’re right Megan. It’s not a hippy-thing to do, it’s more of a “Someone who thinks weed will be sold in packs,” kind of thing to do.

Fox however, will not have to worry about her remarks offending everyone. Celebstoner will now likely add her going to the ranks of Top Celebstoners along side Seth Rogan, Cheech Marin and Kristen Stewart.

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Images Via: GQ, Wenn

Usher Wimps Out

For a brief moment in time, I gained an ounce of respect for R&B singer Usher. But alas, that moment was very short-lived and he went back to that place in my dark soul reserved for people like Steven King and Octo-Mom.

According to US Weekly, the singer was in the recording studio taking up space as he perused through some photos of girlfriend batterer Chris Brown soaking up the sun and jet skiing in Miami. Usher was apparently upset about the lack of remorse Brown was showing considering his current situation with girlfriend Rihanna.

“I’m a little disappointed in this photo,” Usher says about the shots of Brown. “After the other photo [of Rihanna's bruised face]? C’mon, Chris. Have a little bit of remorse, man. The man’s on jet skis? Like, just relaxing in Miami?”

Before I could log-on to iTunes and purchase some of Usher’s music, he rebuked his words by issuing the following statement:

“The comments made during a recent recording session amongst friends were taken out of context and blown out of proportion. I apologize on behalf of myself and my friends if anyone was offended. The intentions were not to pass judgment and we meant no harm. I respect and wish the best for all parties involved.”

I don’t really understand how his original comment could be taken out of context; however, it appears that Usher is, like most musicians and actors, completely spineless when it comes to calling people out for their horrendous behavior. When will someone in Hollywood grow a pair and call Brown out for his actions without taking it back? I know! I’ll start: Chris Brown, you suck. I am still hoping that Jay-Z makes sure you receive your comeuppance.

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Images Via: Film Magic

Mary Kate Olsen Loves Her Some Recession

Hundreds of thousands of people are loosing their homes, the jobs and their life due to recession. The economy has slowly been crumbling, but that means discounted hats for millionaires!

Mary Kate Olsen opened her mouth to release some verbal diarrhea again. While shopping at Barneys the other day she spoke about the hardships of the recession. A Page Six spy heard her say:

“It’s really sad – the recession is everywhere. But at least they are having good sales,” said Olsen, who pointed to her hat. “That’s where I got this! The recession!”

Yay! That totally makes all those homeless feel warm and cuddly inside. It kinda makes having to lick old cheese off of your neighbors trashed pizza boxes for sustenance worth it. Or getting your knees dirty in a Wal-Mart bathroom for $5 and Big Mac seem justifiable.

Image Via: Wenn