Angelina Jolie in Rehab ?! – PHOTOS

If you believe Star Magazine then Angelina Jolie is headed for rehab.

Using an unfortunate picture of Angie looking like Lindsay Lohan on a good day, the magazine claims that “The Tourist” star is back to abusing heroin. The rag also has a tag line that she collapsed due to her addiction. Along with the “secret collapse” she and Brad Pitt had some “embarrassing scene in public.” Being that Brangelina is constantly stalked by paparazzi I would bet that any fight in public would be front page news for every media outlet.

The mag also used another unflattering photo from a premiere at Cinestar at Potsdamer. It appears as though the are fighting right there on a red carpet. Below are some more photos from the same premiere. They are both smiling and it provides a new angle to the mag’s pic.

Is Jolie headed to rehab? Based on the “proof” on the cover…I’d say she be more likely to be headed to In and Out Burger.

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Images Via: WENN.com

David Arquette in Rehab

Well that was quicker than I thought…David Arquette has taken a break from telling Howard Stern about his penchant for crying after sex to enter rehab.

It’s actually sad and makes my little no-heart sigh with pity. He has been on a downward spiral since he and Courteney Cox split. According to People he is seeking treatment for alcohol abuse and depression but not drug issues.

“He is in there for drinking and depression, not hard drugs. Rehab was inevitable,” says the source. “He is dealing with a broken heart. He can’t handle all the changes in his life. All his inner demons came out.”

Courteney’s rep issued this statement regarding his trip to rehab…”I really admire David and his choice to take charge and better his life. I love and support him.”

Get better soon…

Hollywood Dame’s Link Worthy

Kirsten Dunst Looking Questionable at New Year Event….Backseat Cuddler

Guess whose fan had to be pepper sprayed in order to be controlled…I Need My Fix

Lindsay Lohan To Be Released This Week

Lindsay Lohan could be released back into the wild and free to roam by the end of this week. Lock up your emergency coke stash because I have a feeling she is going to go blow crazy and blanket herself in enough of the bad shiz to make the last scene in “Scarface” look like an episode of the Care Bears.

The UCLA Neuropsychiatric Hospital has not written their final report, but the suspicions of bipolar disorder have turned out to be unfounded according to “insiders” who blabbed to TMZ. Her Adderall issues are also said to be “not as severe” as they thought. So Lohan could be in outpatient care before you can say WTF?!

So… doctors are giving each other the side eye and shrugging their shoulders in bewilderment as to what exactly is wrong with Lindsay, patting her on the head and sending her on her way clutching a script for Adderall. Cue the violins as she sits down with the tricks from The View and creates a tale about prison reforming her and seeing the light of sweet baby Jesus.

Oh well, maybe her return will stimulate coke sales and thusly the economy. Hooray gas prices below $5 a gallon!

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Images Via: WENN.com

Jonathan Rhys Meyers Goes Back to Rehab

Rehab just got sexier. I know this man gives some women a case of the creepies because he turns into a Jabberwocky while drunk at airports, but I have that special kind of romantic feeling where I’d do anything to nail Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Meyers has found a foe in airports, much like Lindsay Lohan’s new nemesis is gravity. Most recently he threw out the “N” word after he wasn’t allowed to board a plane because of his level of inebriation. (Click HERE to read more on that debacle) In November of 2007 he was arrested in Dublin for public intoxication. You know you are wreck when the world’s stereotypical booze-hounds are giving you the side eye and calling you a drunken embarrassment. He followed that with another vodka induced rampage in June of 2009 after reportedly pushing an airport lounge employee after indulging in several drinks.

After this latest edition to Hot Mess Drunk: Airport Edition (sponsored by Jose Cuervo, Grey Goose and Hennessy), his rep confirmed that he going back to a London rehab facility. This will be his fourth attempt at sobriety.

Maybe he just gets the shakes when flying and needs to drown his fears by bathing in sweet booze. My solution is that he eliminates planes as a means of travel and get a private jet, a donkey, golf cart or chauffeur who accepts natures credit card. (Ahem…me.)

Lindsay Lohan: Rehab is Like a Vacation

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Yup. This pretty much says it all. Lindsay Lohan recently blabbed to The Sun about how her dad is a massive douche and led her to drug abuse, but now she insists she is all better and “allowed to drink again” because she went to a Costco version of rehab. (Remembah that? No? Well, Click HERE to read up on her daddy issues.)

After that story spread through the net she was photographed partying 3 consecutive nights and even allegedly getting drunk and throwing cigarettes at waitresses. (Click HERE for Lindsay’s London Drunken Debacle.)

Now she is unleashing even more verbal fireworks for us to giggle about.

Via SF Gate:

“The second two times I went to rehab, I had to go because it was a court thing. It was an obligation. I had to do it to stay out of getting any jail time. And I took responsibility for that. And it was like a vacation.

“I love meeting new people and seeing what they’ve been experiencing. That’s what I go through in different characters. And I met some great people. It was a nice time to shut everyone off for a while because there was so much noise… It was a positive experience. When I was there it was like, there’s a lot of people that I know who should really be here now, not for drugs or alcohol abuse – just to learn about life. The world is nuts.”

I am surprised she did add: “Rehab is like an untapped well of Ambien! It’s like organized networking for blow whores with a bit of yoga mixed in.”

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Images Via: Lindsaylohansource

Lindsay Lohan is Lie Telling

Lindsay Lohan Sober - Yeah, Ok...

I love The Sun and how deliciously Euro-tastic it is. It has a respectability in an Us Weekly way and Lindsay Lohan was ready to try and convince us all that she has hit rock bottom and is clawing her way back up again. The way to do that is selling her story to The Sun. Coke doesn’t grow on trees you know.

She sold them a Maury worthy story full of fictitious ramblings that tried to point the finger at her dad. Which I should mention Mikey Lohan being a complete failing famewhore is about the only aspect of these quotes I believe.

Lindsay Talking About Rehab (In Her Genius Attempt to Find an Untapped Ambien Source)
“I went to rehab three times. The first time I checked myself in because I had taken Ambien. It’s a sleeping aid but it makes you hallucinate. I’d run a bath and fallen asleep on the floor and the bath had overflowed. When I woke up I was so scared, I called my therapist and said, ‘Can I just go somewhere for a month? I’m around bad people and I need to take care of myself’. I was terrified, so I put myself in.”

On How She Wants to Teach Others (To Do What Exactly?)
“Mind-altering substances are so dangerous. If I can teach others, especially teens, by sharing my experiences, then that’s what I will continue to do. I’ve made some dreadful mistakes but learned from them – that has probably saved my life.”

Lilo’s Dad is Emperor of the Douches
“When my father was going public, that’s when I hit rock bottom. I abused substances too much and it wasn’t the answer to my problems. People need to know that. I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to. I learnt from my mistakes and I’m now healthy and happier. I never want to be close to losing everything I worked for and aspired to have my whole life.”

Lindsay on How It Was OK That She Was Partying in London Last Weekend, Got Trashed, Danced on Tables, Threw Cigarettes at Waitresses and Got Locked Of Her Hotel and Beat on the Door at 4 AM Until They Let Her In (Photos HERE) –
“I’m allowed to drink now but I know my limits. There are certain situations where I have obligations. There’s no reason to (drink) because I don’t want to feel like s*** in the morning. I’ve now learned my boundaries and I’ve been very good with cleaning house with people who I know didn’t have my best intentions at heart. A lot of people in LA are very self destructive. Partying so hard simply isn’t worth it. Life is worth living and there is so much to do and experience, it’s wonderful.”

What they hell kind of sobering program gives you the “OK” to go out and drink? It’s like telling the contestants on Biggest Looser they can go Golden Corral Buffet everyday as long as the pinky swear not to eat anything with trans fat.

Tara Reid is Engaged, Not Joking

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Tara Reid is engaged and there is no punch line to follow that statement. Someone really wants to marry her. Good for her. I just want to pat her on her head and send her on her way with a wine cooler to go play with the rest of the has-beens on the playground.

Tara Reid and boyfriend Michael Axtmann were having dinner at The Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles on Monday night when Axtmann asked for something not on the menu: Reid’s hand in marriage.

“Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring,” the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, ‘Congratulations.’”

Tara, hold onto him and never let go. Any man that will vow to hold your drank while you score some Taco Bell, hold your hair back while you toss and hold you up when you are too crunk to stand is a Prince among men.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Charlie Sheens Wife Drank While Pregnant

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Yeah, I could see something like this putting some major strain on any relationship! Charlie Sheen’s wife Brooke Mueller reportedly went to rehab for alcohol abuse when she was five months pregnant with twins Bob and Max, after several bottles of alcohol were found in her car. It is also being said that the couple fought bitterly due to Brooke’s drinking while pregnant, and Charlie blamed her for the premature birth of the twins and the heart issue that kept one of their son’s hospitalized for several weeks after the other baby came home from the hospital. However, her attorney Yale Galanter is fighting back, claiming the reports are “dead wrong.”

Per E!:

“I know that’s not true. I’m very familiar with the situation, and that’s totally not true. She was not in rehab for alcohol abuse while pregnant. That never occurred. She’s an incredible mother; it’s amazing to see her with her children.”

Well, do you really expect her to stand up and say “Why yes, I did go to rehab for alcohol while I was pregnant. My sons medical problem is solely my fault!” Galanter is currently working on lifting the protection order that bans Brooke and Charlie from contacting each other after their Christmas spat spiraled out of control. (Read about that here.) Given she was drunk at 8:30am on Christmas morning, I tend to doubt her credibility. Its about time Charlie and Brooke cut their losses and go their separate ways!

Images Via: WENN.com

Dina Lohan Says Lindsay Is A Cutter

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In another small glimpse into the tortured and messed up life of Lindsay Lohan, another taped phone call between parents Michael his ex-wife Dina has surfaced, in which Dina admits that Lindsay is a cutter. Rumors that Lindsay was causing harm to herself over the past few years began after multiple photographs revealed fresh cuts and old scars on her wrists and arms, a tell-tale sign of self-mutilation. HollywoodDame first reported on this a couple months back (You can read about that here), but it appears the cutting has been going on for quite some time as the audio recording released is back from 2008. In the conversation Michael and Dina both acknowledge how bad their daughter’s problems have become, but both deny they either of them are at fault. Michael tells Dina that he represents the bad things in Lindsay’s life but his ex-wife interrupts.

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Per Radar:

“Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it’s bad Michael, it’s bad.”

Dina then admits that she feels like Lindsay’s in a dire situation and that something bad is bound to happen to her.

“I know it’s gonna happen,” Dina says. “If something happens I will feel that it’s all your fault, that’s how I will feel, it’s not about me.”

“And I’ll feel that it’s everybody else’s fault,” Michael responds.

The estranged exes then continue to bicker more about whose fault it is. Michael’s says that earlier leaks of phone conversations are proof that Lindsay needs help and were slammed by Dina, who along with her daughter have also threatened legal action. He claims to be releasing these conversations as a way to push his daughter into rehab to get some help.

“I admit, I’m being a bit selfish in releasing the tapes,” he told us. “But I’m tired of being lied about. I’m tired of Dina and others making me out to be someone I’m not, so now I’m going to prove to the world who the real liars are.”

The latest phone recording is just one of several tapes released by Michael over the past week. Previous recordings have revealed a crying Lindsay on the verge of a breakdown calling out for help and about an alleged secret relationship with Heath Ledger around the time of his death (You can read about that here.) How could Dina know and look at her arms and do nothing about it? She knows its real bad but yet says she wouldn’t be at fault if anything happens to Lindsay? News Flash Dina – you will be 100% at fault for doing nothing! Without any kind of help, Lindsay will most likely self-destruct within the next 18 months or less. She never stood a chance with parents like these.

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Images Via: Hot Celebs Home

Kanye West and Lady Gaga‘s ‘Fame Kills’ Tour Canceled – UPDATED

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After his poultry centered hissy fit at Common’s charity event (click here to read about that) the plug has been pulled from Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s ‘Fame Kills’ tour.

Live Nation simply announced that the tour is done before it started. No reason was cited but they did promise everyone gets their money back and will get their misspent money back at the point of purchase.

Ok one of three things happened here.

1. Kanye West is going into rehab to take his cap lock ridden rants to people who actually care.
2. He got glimpse of Gaga’s retractable peen and was furious because she is hung better.
3. There isn’t a venue large enough to fit Kanye West, his daddy issues and his groundless ego.

I am going with a combo of all three.

UPDATE – I was sort of right. TMZ is reporting that ticket sales have been terrible and that is one of the many reasons ‘Fame Kills’ was canceled. They also state that West and Gaga’s people couldn’t make nice.

“If Kanye West doesn’t regret hijacking Taylor Swift, he will now — we’re told his concert tour with Lady Gaga was scrapped because ticket sales sucked. And “sucked” happens to be a nicer version of the word we were told.

And not only that — our insiders say another factor in the cancellation was West and Gaga’s people were at each others throats like their last names were Gosselin.”