Richard Henne, father of Balloon Boy and future Michael Lohan, could face up to 6 years in jail and up to $500,000 in jail for making me miss watching Thor at the gym to report on his helium adventure. (Click here for the story of the Balloon Boy Hoax).

Sheriff Jim Alderden of Fort Collins, CO announced today that the Heene Ballon Boy nuttery has been officially deemed a hoax by the police. Charges are going to be filed and include: conspiracy, calling in a fake emergency and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Alderden talked about how the Heene family are actors with a degree in tomfoolery and are super sorry they fell for the hoax.

He then used strategery after the Larry King interview (in which the tot happily told the world “it was for the show” click here to see that) to get them to admit the wasted everyone’s time in watching a flipping balloon for hours and chanting to the helium gods for his safe return. While he couldn’t outright confirm “batch is craaaaaazy” and lied, he did confirm the investigation is well under way and they are building evidence to file the charges ASAP.

“We were looking at Class 3 misdemeanor, which hardly seems serious enough given the circumstances. We are talking to the district attorney, federal officials to see if perhaps there aren’t additional federal charges that are appropriate in this circumstance.”

They need to add booty blocking to that list of charges and make it punishable by death due to the hotness level of my gym candy I missed out on.