Maybe I just a dirty, dirty pervert through and through, but did the editors let the interns choose the cover for Robert Downey Jr.’s December issue of Esquire? I mean, his cup runneth over with testicles and he is gesturing to it as if to say, “Yup, that’s my package. God delivered. I signed for it. The world keeps on spinning.”

In the issue he talks about a little bit of everything from baby making to surfing the capitalism wave:

“The big unspoken thing here is that we intend to have a family… Hell, yeah. Speaking of artifacts. The ultimate artifact of our love. In a onesie.”

“Suffice to say, dude, I’m not paranoid anymore. I’m not fearful. It’s interesting to be surfing this tremendous crisis of capitalism — and I know there’s a coral reef under me and I don’t want to hang ten, but I do think that when you’re in the pole position, that’s when you try to beat your best personal time.”

Of course the issue of his choice in car was also brought up along with money issues:

“Shall I tell you the joys of the Jetta station wagon, dude? It’s low-profile. It’s got it all. The instrumentation, while firmly rooted in the twenty-first century, could easily be mistaken for 1993. The steering wheel has nothing but the steering wheel.”

“I love being a part of something that makes other people a bunch of dough. And I don’t need to make nothing but big movies. In fact, if anything I’m probably in danger of wearing out my welcome.”

Did he forget he was supposed to be pimping the new Sherlock Holmes movie? Maybe he drones on about what fierce bitch Guy Ritchie is in the full issue of the mag.

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Images Via: Esquire