Robert Pattinson Goes on Tour Plus ‘New Moon’ Fight Scene – Video

[Twilight Saga: New Moon Fight Scene Sneak Peek Video]

Behold! Sparklepants might be touring America! Possibly. ‘New Moon cast members‘ are going on a press junket tour to further they hysteria surrounding the Twilight machine. Below are the cities in which the New Moon pimpage will hit.

11/06/09 – Los Angeles, CA. – Hollywood & Highland
11/08/09 – Denver, CO. – Park Meadows
11/09/09 – Chicago, IL. – TBD
11/09/09 – Boston, MA. – Natick Collection
11/09/09 – Washington, DC. – Fair Oaks Mall
11/10/09 – Houston, TX. – Houston Galleria
11/11/09 – San Francisco, CA. – Stonestown Galleria
11/11/09 – Philadelphia, PA. – Cherry Hill Mall
11/11/09 – Minneapolis, MN. – Mall of America
11/12/09 – Seattle, WA. – Westfield Southcenter
11/12/09 – Atlanta, GA. – Mall of Georgia
11/13/09 – Phoenix, AZ. – Scottsdale Fashion Square
11/13/09 – Miami, FL. – Dadeland Mall
11/14/09 – Salt Lake City, UT. – Fashion Place

In order to go to The Twilight Saga: New Moon Tour you have to purchase a commemorative The Twilight Saga: New Moon Tour T-shirt at Hot Topic at 8:00 AM on Halloween day. With the top you will get a wrist band that gives you access.
So if enjoying massive lines while being herded like cattle to get a glimpse of Robert Pattinson’s unicorn patch…make sure you bring a sock full of quarters or some straight razors and Vaseline, as there are a limited number of bands at each location.

Rainbow Brite and the Magical Eating Disorder

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WTF happened to Rainbow Brite? I adored her as a child and have been after my own pony circa Starlite (the most magical beast in the universe before Robert Pattinson’s unicorn patch surfaced) since I was 5. However, now she has an eating disorder and is a pair of sparkly heart shaped pasties away from walking a runway arm and arm with Lindsay Lohan.

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Hallmark has revamped Rainbow Brite to appeal to the new generation of future Dr. Drew patients. My inner child is rocking itself in a corner as this new ho posing a Brite goes on a ho stroll with her legion of sprites to visit the new hormone injected Strawberry Shortcake after her botched lipo incident. It’s only a matter of time before their is corner war between Rainbow’s pimpery and the Bratz dolls.

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Images Via: Hallmark