Robert Pattinson To Quit Acting

EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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That, my friends, is the creepy cry of the Twi-Hards upon learning that their beloved Robert Pattinson is thinking of hanging up his acting fangs.

In a recent interview with Seventeen Magazine, the current hot commodity and my former love slave (I had to let him out of the basement to shoot ‘Eclipse’, ok?) stated that he isn’t sure how long his acting career will last.

Via MTV UK:

“I don’t even know if I want to be an actor that long. I don’t even know how to be someone else… if I start doing lame work, I’m not going to stick around and do it!”

Sparklepants, I think this means you should have stopped with ‘The Haunted Airman’. Yea, Twi-Hards, I said it.

He then went on to compare himself to rapper Eminem.

“When the first film came out I felt like a complete tosser, It looked like I was trying to be cool or something, like Eminem. You know, to be in a movie and then do a song for the soundtrack. But I didn’t look cool, I just looked ridiculous.”

I don’t know about that Sparks…you have way better hair than Em.

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Images Via: Us Weekly, JJB

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to Admit They’re Dating

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Snore.

Robert Pattinson makes me giggle with Twihard glee, but I am getting too bored with the ‘are they?’ or ‘aren’t they?’ rumors between him and his ‘Twilight Saga’ co-star, Kristen Stewart.

It is now being reported that the two have decided to come out of the open and completely transparent closet of love and sweat in the December issue of ‘Harper’s Bazaar’ Magazine.

Via PopCrunch:

“The tell-all interview with [sic] confirm months of speculation romantically-linking the young stars of the wildy-successful vampire franchise, insiders reveal in the Oct. 5 edition of In Touch Weekly.”

At this point, unless KStew also reveals that she is pregnant with Sparklepants‘ vampire love child while riding a pony and singing ‘We Are the World’, I am completely uninterested.

NOTE from The Dame – I too feel that these two are humping and whether or not a relationship has been formed is pretty dull at this point. However, I would like to mention that the above photo is the work of a Twi-hard and is photoshopped after a bit of research (i.e. scathing and crazy emails). So please read this ENTIRE post before complaining that it is a fake.

UPDATE – It appears that Robert Pattinson has confirmed he and Kristen Stewart ARE a couple. Click HERE for the full updated report and explanation as to why they play coy.

Robert Pattinson is NOT Dead

I am beginning to think I need to do a daily report on all the Hollywood hos who are NOT dead. However, that is asinine and Sparklepants agrees…

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Robert Pattinson is the latest to fall victim to the death hoax instigated by people with no lives of their own. (I swear it wasn’t me. You can ask the fireman I brought home last night as soon as he wakes up.)

The rumor started as Robert Pattinson dying in the third installment of “Twilight.” It was being said that Pattinson’s character, Edward Cullen, was going to be killed off in the film version of “Eclipse.” It’s a total rumor. Both Sparklepants and his character are alive and well.

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Image Via: wenn.com