Yesterday, photos of the scary withered arms of Madonna surfaced on the net and it made me run out and by arm flab a cheeseburger. Today, sexy phone messages that are nearly 2 years old are being put up for sale.

I kinda assumed that Madge did some moonlight work as a phone sex operator after she did Evita. That shiz was terrible. Alas, these are not recordings of the singer’s assumed side job. At least 17 minutes of of phone messages containing Madonna talking dirty to her then boyfriend are up for grabs. The bargain basement price of Madge asking then boyfriend Jim Albright to spank her starts at $40,000.

That’s not all that can be yours. Madonna was edgy and also did some sex faxing. She sent naughty faxes to the former body guard that are also for sale via Gotta Have It.

Via Daily News:

“Also part of the massive treasure-trove is a 15-minute “very personal and intimate video” that Madonna gave Albright, and 21 faxes they exchanged between 1992 and 1994.

Despite a photographer’s “pathetic camera work” at a shoot, “my booty looked good and you should see how good it looks in person,” Madge bragged in a November 1993 fax to her then-beau. Toward the end of her note, she invited her boy toy to visit her.

“It would be sooooo nice,” she wrote, before encouraging Albright to “send me a fax. I’ll be in my bed waiting for you.”

Only Madge would be turned on by the sound of an ancient fax machine printing.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Image Via: NY Daily, Getty