File this under things that do exist – a Tyson Beckford Sex Tape.
I never understood why people feel the need to make sex tapes. Maybe for instructional purposes for your partner who is terrible in bed. You know, bust out that tv marker they use during football instant replays. See what you are doing there? Now look at my face. [circles face] Not a whole lot of enjoyment going on there. I appreciate the effort your putting into it, but we can fix this. See where your right hand is? [circles hand] Move up and to the left about 2 inches.