Shia LaBeouf Groupie Shares Sex Story

I read this and laughed at how ridiculous it sounds. I am pretty sure Shia himself wrote this or paid someone to make this cockamamie story up. I found it hilarious and had to share.

A Shia LaBeouf conquest came forward to share her story on bedding the “Transformers” star. She insists he is the “for a white boy, they dude has some serious SWAGGA.” Her words. Not mine.

Per Back Stage Pazz:

“We went back to his place and talked for awhile. We smoked some weed and drank some beers and he told me about how he broke up with his long time girlfriend, not that I really cared. At the bar we were at a booth and he kept lowly tellin’ me stuff in my ear, like how hot I was and how he wanted me. It was really hot. I had a cheesin’ smile on my face the whole night. We chated [sic] some more then started making out.”

She goes on to detail her night with Shia. If you care to read the nuttery it’s after the cut. Warning, it’s slightly NSFW. Click “Read More…”

[Read more...]

Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio Hook Up

Lindsay Lohan is back on the meat market. The starlet who went lipstick lesbian for Samantha Ronson has returned to dating men. Since Lohan and Ronson ended their tumultuous relationship she has been out partying and on the prowl.

The night after being dumped by the DJ she reportedly went on a vodka binge. This is typically a normal night for her, but according to sources Lindsay is on the prowl for men. In particular she went after Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo is synonymous with being extremely private so I can’t help but think the following may be a bunch of hooey. The rehab princess ran into DiCaprio at MyHouse (club not Casa de la Cara for all of those unfamiliar with the L.A. joint). A spy at The Sun spun a story that I think came from Lohan’s fantasy diary.

“She quickly monopolised his conversation and made sure she had him all to herself. Lindsay is a sharp tac. She wasn’t wasting her time chatting up small fish. She seemed interested in the gents with deeper pockets, probably because her career is on a downward trajectory. The pair were cosied up together deep in conversation. She definitely tickled his fancy.

As the night went on and the drinks flowed, things between her and Leo hotted up and she took to the dancefloor to show off her talents. My eyewitness added: “It was a bit shocking when she got up and started dancing in front of him but he seemed to be enjoying it.”

In order for this to be remotely true, Leo would have to been higher than a kite and told it wasn’t really Lohan, it was Heidi Klum dressed up as a blow whore for Halloween and if he nailed her it would cease the effects of global warming and save the lives of thousands of kittens. The only bit about this story that I’d consider believing is that she was at a bar and trolling for sausage.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Pacific Coast News

Natalie Portman Continues Home Wrecking

Natalie Portman’s no-no is continuing it’s reign of terror. She was originally rumored to be wooing “Twilight” heartthrob Robert Pattinson. Then Portman and Sean Penn were reportedly making out at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar. Sean is still married to Robin Wright Penn, but that apparently didn’t stop the two from swapping saliva after their business meeting with Dustin Lance Black. This was all followed by a rumor that she and Ryan Gosling were hooking up after meeting at Bardot in LA.

Now Natalie has got her eyes on Brad Pitt. She personally asked him to play her love interest in a new film. Angelina Jolie lost her shiz and started in with the oratorical fireworks

Via Backseat Cuddler Per Female First:

“Angelina had a massive fit and was shouting her head off. She accused Brad of flirting with Natalie. Angelina can’t help but feel threatened. Brad knows how jealous she gets but won’t stop saying how gorgeous and intelligent Natalie is. He keeps saying she is ‘cute as a button.’ “

Gee…what’s Jolie afraid of? Pitt would leave her for his leading lady? History does have a habit of repeating itself.

“Angelina worries about karma. It’s eating her up and we’re sure the cause of a lot of the rows is her not quite trusting Brad.”

Really Brad, “cute as a button” and “gorgeous” are stupid words to use to describe someone you might be having pretend sex with in the near future in front of your lady. When Angie asks what you think of another woman you always, always say: “Baby, she might as well have a 3rd eye and limp because she doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

Images Via: The Frisky, Wenn

John Mayer Obsesses Over Perez and Confirms Make Out Rumor – Video

It’s been obvious, to me anyway, that John Mayer is queerer than a $3 bill. He has been obsessed with Perez Hilton and won’t shut up about his conquest. There was a huge debacle in which Perez claimed John made out with him. Mayer denied that shiz as he was dating Jessica Simpson at the time.

However, on John Mayer’s Big Gay Boat Ride on his Mayercraft Cruise he confirmed that he did in fact make out with Perez.

“You’re damn right I made out with him. You know why? Because I can’t stand a gay guy who acts like he just turned gay yesterday,” Mayer explained. “I can’t take it. As soon as a guy is walking around all wild… I will fu** you in the ass to shut you up.”

How nice. Good for you. For awhile I thought you were really that big of an a-hole. Turns out you were just a bitchy queen struggling with your sexuality. I mean, it was obvious that Jennifer Aniston was your beard, but this makes you slightly more tolerable. Toot toot sailor!

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: AP

Justin Timberlake Wants Jessica Biel GONE

Justin and Jessica have been facing break up rumors for quite some time. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beil have been on the verge of break up for nearly a year now.

The latest in the reports of their stale saga is that the two have been fighting about what a slut Timberlake supposedly is. He has a wandering eye and likes to flirt. What man doesn’t? (He has a pulse and penis…he is going to look.) This doesn’t sit well with Biel and she is demanding an end to his heartthrob ways.

Via OK! Magazine:

“Jessica’s seen Justin flirt, but says it’s all in good fun,” the pal tells OK!. “But she has told him that if they get engaged, it’s got to end. Things seem a bit tense with them, but they’re trying to get past the rough patches.”

They shacked up together in his New York digs a few months ago, but he is hating the set up according to the “insider” close to the couple. He wants Jessica and her gigantic pie-hole out.

“Justin asked one of his longtime best friends how much time he’d need to give Jessica if he asked her to move out of their New York City apartment without seeming like a jerk.”

Oh Justin, Justin, Justin. What’s that old cliché? You made your bed ,so you have to sleep with whoever you put in it…or something like that. That applies here JT.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Fame Pictures

Sean Penn and Natalie Portman Affair

A slew of more than 3 rumors have surrounded a claim that Natalie Portman and Sean Penn have some sort of torrid affair that started just before the 2009 Academy Awards. Yes, Penn is married to Robin Wright Penn and she was his date for the evening.

One thing the rumors all have in common is their dinner together at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar. Earlier this month the two appeared to be sharing some chemistry while dining out with “Milk” writer, Dustin Lance Black. An eyewitness blabbed to Star that she stumbled upon Penn and Portman kissing passionately after they finished their meeting with Black.

“They went to a bank of elevators that only goes to the spa or to private rooms. They came back about 45 minutes later, and that’s when I saw them making out. There’s a door outside of the hotel’s Tower Bar that has a bridge to the terrace, so it’s semi-private. I used that path to get to the restroom, and when I came back, I had to go through some curtains — and that’s when I interrupted Sean and Natalie. When they saw me, they were startled and quickly composed themselves.”

Page Six also had a spy at the Sunset Tower. They confirmed that they were there and spotted together. A rep for Sean simply stated that:

“Sean doesn’t have a house in LA so, of course, he stays in a hotel.”

Sean Penn and Natalie Portman are oddly enough perfect for each other. They can sit around and talk about how highly they think of themselves. That conversation could be followed with agreement that only their political views matter.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Wenn, Splash

Dolly Parton Denies Lesbian Rumors

Dolly Parton has been married since 1966. She and Carl Dean have had a pretty decent relationship. However, people are claiming Dolly swings both ways and has a lesbian lover. She has been friends with Judy Ogle for years and is a bit like the Gayle to Parton’s Oprah. (Whether or not Stedman is her beard is another discussion.)

Per AARP via Contact Music:

“We’re absolutely, totally honest, open, and comfortable with each other. We’ve been accused of being lovers. We do love each other, but we’ve never been like that.”

I love Dolly. She is one classy ho that I envy. Dolly is like one of your friends that isn’t afraid to use their endowment to get free drinks at the bar and remember you like your tonic on the rocks. Gay, straight or Clay Aiken….I think she’s fab.

Image Via: Getty

Fred Durst Talks About Britney Spears Romance

Fred Durst is reheating the Britney Spears he-said, she-said fiasco over their 2003 rumored romance.

I am guessing this is in order to remain relevant, but Durst is back to claiming he and Spears were in love. If you recall, she and Fred worked to together to write songs for her upcoming album. Things turned gooey and he became outspoken about his lovey feelings for Britney, telling fans she “happens to be a person that I [wouldn't] have thought could make me feel this way.”

Either he was lying or Spears was on damage control. She went on TRL to blast the relationship rumors stating that she “barely knew” Durst. He became irate and fired back via Howard Stern. He went on the shock jock’s show and swore on “his child’s blue eyes” that he was telling the truth.

Durst has reopened the subject telling MTV about his current feelings regarding Britney.

“It just became a fiasco of madness. I always stay true to my heart and true to everything I did and my intentions, and I am in no way a liar.”

Fred also mused about her subsequent downfall. The following 6 years after their alleged affair became a slow train wreck for her.

“I look back on it as very interesting how things have been sort of unraveling for her since… but it is what it is. I can sleep at night knowing I made decisions that I wanted to make. I’m a supporter. I was then, I guess I am now. I just guess at the time it was taboo for a guy like me to be associated with a gal like her.”

Hmm….She went on to marry and procreate with Kevin Federline. I am pretty sure that she didn’t fear his “taboo” factor. Someone get this guy a copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” It was probably a drunken one night stand that he turned into some “union of two souls” moment. I’d deny, deny, deny too.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: BlueEyes

Guy Ritchie Wooing Elle Macpherson – Photos

Guy Ritchie is seeking solace in the bosom of Elle Macpherson according to latest on gossip grapevine.

Madonna recently shacked up with Jesus in her New York apartment and Guy isn’t sitting at home and crying over a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. He has been entertaining supermodel Elle ‘The Body’ Macpherson. Last night the Daily Mirror caught the two hit up Notting Hill’s Brasserie. They talked for hours before leaving separately around 12:30 in the morning.

Both left with smiles on their faces.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]

Images Via: Splash

Zac Efron Explains Sex Toy Photo

The “High School Musical” star finally explained his sex toy adventure with girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens.

It’s obvious that Zac Efron and Vanessa aren’t exactly as pure as the Jonas Brothers with their rings of virginity power. Hudgens was caught up in a nude photo scandal a few years ago. So it was no surprise when photos of the couple shopping in a sex toy shop surfaced. In the April issue of Elle Efron explained they were simply after “adult Halloween costumes.”

Per Elle Via Access Hollywood:

“It was Hallows Eve like, two years ago. It was just a costume store. In the back they have an adult section for adult costumes. And this nice older woman asked for a photo.”

Isn’t that convenient. A 19 year old with his girlfriend in a sex toy store was after costumes…for Halloween. His mom didn’t buy that story either.

“My mom is like, ‘Zac, what did you buy in a sex shop?’ I was like ‘Mom, calm down, it’s not a sex shop.’ She wouldn’t have any of it. She’s like, ‘I knew you were being sexual!’” he admitted. “But she understood. My stocking was full of condoms this Christmas. She buys me the economy box.”

Oh, that Zac…being all ‘sexual’ all the time. I am glad it wasn’t a ‘sex shop’ afterall. I am sure those vibrators and blow up sheep were purely ornamental.

[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]