Johnny Depp reprises his role as People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2009. The “Pirates of the Caribbean” star was bestowed the title of Sexiest Man Alive in 2003.

Robert Pattinson was falsely given the title yesterday as a fake cover of the issue ran rampant over the net. (Click HERE to read the full story of Robert Pattinson People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2009 Hoax). While the Twilight Saga heartthrob DID make the list, he didn’t score the #1 spot.

*Ryan Reynolds- Came second. All true gentlemen should.
*Jake Gyllenhaal – That’s right kittens, my hairy beast made the top 5.
*Bradley Cooper- Really? This guy’s sexy face is the same look of constipation.
*Robert Downey Jr. – Ah, yes. The Cinderella of Blow. Good for him.
*David Beckham – Balls. Digitally enhanced hairless ones.
*Gilles Marini – He kinda has a hairy, foreign version of Jakey thing going on… so I will let it slide.
*The Men of Glee – Ummm…Crista might be able to explain this one.
*Nick Cannon – BWHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! This is a joke right? How much did The Keeper of Mariah’s Hello Kitty Sticker Collection and purse holder have to shell out to nab a spot on the list?
*Adam Lambert – Gays are so hot right now.

John Cho, Chris Daughtry, Jerry O’Connell, John Legend and Sparklepants finished the list.

Yet, as pointed out by Michael K over at Dlisted, where the hell is Anderson Cooper? Harold (of the Harold and Kumar films) was deemed a must hump, but the Silver Fox was snubbed? Mimi’s assistant whored his way onto the list but Anderson Cooper robbed of his glory? I mean Johnny Depp in his pirate garb makes me smile in various regions, but I am writing a letter to the mag demanding a RE-DO.

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Images Via: WENN.com