Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler W Magazine Cover

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This is it? This the “raciest cover” that W magazine has ever shot? I know I am a bit jaded when it comes to shock value but there are no handcuffs, rubber sheets or other implements of sexiness.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler have been playing fake slap and tickle by getting all grope happy at the Golden Globes and other public appearances. Gerry even attended her birthday party which was spent on an island and the dress code was cougar bikini gear. Of course, before all of Aniston’s rom-com movies she is reportedly hooking up with the male lead and The Butler will hit anything with a pelvis and a pulse. So this shoot for W magazine was reportedly supposed to be hotter than any of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s pictures.

Thoughts?

Quoteables:

Dlisted - “What in Photoshop hell did they do to Gerard Butler? He looks like an extra from Grand Theft Auto.”

ONTD – ““Jen’s Shoes are the only thing hot about cover. Seriously, she looks like she is in pain and he looks bored. Overall it looks like a failed Heimlich Maneuver.”

Images Via: W Mag

Michael Buble Loves Sex, Cake and Pot

I am pretty sure everyone does. Although it sounds more like my Sunday night, it is actually a list of Michael Buble’s favorite pastimes.

His ex-secret lovah, Tiffany Bromley, went squealing to anyone willing to listen about Mikey’s Tiger Woods-esque habits.

Via News.co.au

“Michael saw himself as a real ladies’ man who could schmooze any women into bed, and had done on tours. He told me I was too uptight and needed to loosen up. He bragged about how it gave the ultimate pleasure to women. I just ignored him. But he was good in bed.

It was part of Michael’s routine to smoke late at night. Then he always got hungry. He’d raid the hotel mini-bar and eat three or four Snickers bars in one go – plus pistachios, peanuts, sweets and liquorice. He had an enormous appetite. He was quite immature too and threw schoolboy tantrums at people if he didn’t get his own way. We had several rows where he’d blow up over nothing then he crawl back like a weak, whimpering child, saying something like, ‘Sorry, I’m an asshole.’ “

He has danglers and will act like a sex crazed teenager for the rest of his life. Did anyone honestly think he sat at home knitting? It hardly surprises me that his idea of heaven is a part farm in Vegas where it rains Little Debbie snacks.

Adam Lambert Licks Nude Woman on Details Magazine- Photos

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American Idol” runnerup Adam Lambert is the cover boy for the new issue of “Details” magazine, but it’s the racy photos inside that will have tongues wagging. In what could no doubtly be dubbed as his sexiest shoot ever, Lambert and a female model can be seen in various poses including ones where she is completely nude and parts of her just happen to be blocked by his very strategically placed hands. He and the model also appear to be kissing in a few of the pictures, which is a little out of the norm for a gay man featured in a gay magazine. But hey, it looks pretty hot to me! And if this is how you get people talking then who am I to question it!

Per Details:

“There was one woman in Jersey who was actually gorgeous,” says Lambert. “She had obviously had a couple of cocktails, and during an after–show meet–and–greet, she just slithered up next to me and started kissing my neck. I was cool with it. But then it started to get a little weird because she was, like, moaning. She gave me a note that said, ‘I want to make out with you, here’s my number,’ and I was like, wow, this is crazy. But again, it’s cool. Because yeah, I am gay, but I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn’t mean I’m necessarily sleeping with them.”

Lambert goes on to say that female fans toss their bras and panties at him onstage, and admits that he saves as much of them as he can carry while stapling them underneath the stage in what he calls an ‘undergarment graveyard.’

Per Details:

“I think it’s weird that I’m having this effect on women. It’s flattering. I’ve never had underwear thrown at me before. Clearly there’s something significant about it, because there aren’t a lot of openly gay men in the entertainment industry.”

All through out the “American Idol” season I was drooling over Kris Allen, but who knew Adam could make me feel so tingly inside? Those are some hot pictures! Touching a woman seems more natural to him than it does to Tom Cruise. I’m just sayin’…

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Images Via: Details Magazine

Don’t Blame This On Sex Pamela Anderson!

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According to Pamela Anderson, ample amounts of sexy is to blame for withered boot with a bad weave appearance. I am guessing this is like the old hot dog down a hallway cliché. However, Anderson thinks she looks sessy despite using make up intended for Senorita Whore Face while wearing rejected Baby Gap designs.

Via The Sun:

“Looking good to me has always been because of the amount of sex I’m getting! I’ve hardly ever been a member of a gym and I can’t follow diets. When I’m not in a relationship and not – hypothetically speaking of course – having lots of sex how do I keep fit? Oh I don¹t know. I can’t remember! Oh I know… I jump up and down a lot!”

I should give her credit, she looks good for a 60 year old. Wait…she is only 42? Hmmm…wow. It’s a bit like looking into a crystal ball and seeing Megan Fox’s future.

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Image Via: wenn.com

Calvin Klein ‘Threesome’ Billboard Sparks Controversy

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The marketing strategists at Calvin Klein have come a long way from featuring Marky Mark in his underwear. Now the design house is coming under heat this week for a “provocative” billboard the company is using to peddle jeans.

The billboard, which is on display in the SoHo neighborhood of New York City, features a young-looking topless female model lying chest-to-bare chest with a male model that has his hand in her pants. She, of course, is kissing a second male model while another one watches from the floor below.

I am not too sure what all the hub-bub is surrounding that situation as I often find myself in the same situation at the Dame’s Christmas parties and company picnics. However, some New Yorkers are in an uproar.

Via New York Daily News:

“’It’s borderline pornographic’, said neighborhood resident Lisa Marchese, 36, a marketing specialist. ‘They all look so young, particularly the girl. And to portray them in a threesome – it’s just taking it too far.’”

Please note that these comments are being made by a person who is living in a city where I once witnessed a foursome on the street involving a woman, a drag queen, a midget and some kind of exotic animal. And it was noon on a Tuesday.

So what do you think kittens? Has Calvin taken it too far this time?

Britney Spears Plans Sexy Parties Complete with Naked Acrobats and Midgets

Ah, yes. Who doesn’t love a sexy party?

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Britney Spears is planning a helluva good time after she kicks off her Circus tour in the UK. Her first venture across the pond will be tomorrow in London. What should be more exciting is her after party. According to reports, she has hired a slew of nude entertainment in the form of acrobats and dwarves.

Per Contact Music:

“The ‘Womanizer’ singer – who kicks off the UK leg of her ‘Circus’ tour at the city’s O2 arena tomorrow (03.06.09) – has hired naked acrobats, topless burlesque performers and dancing dwarves to perform after each of her eight shows.”

Eight nights of nudeness and dancing. It’s like Chanukah for pervs.

“A source said: “It’s going to be crazy. Britney wanted to throw parties people will be talking about for years. I promise you, you’ve never seen anything so explicit in your life.”

Oh that Britney’s shameless…and I love every dirty bit of it.

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Images Via: Splash, Wenn

Padma Lakshmi Makes Love to Hardee’s Burger – Video

Apparently everyone is going bacon crazy over this commercial for Hardees in which the hot ho from “Top Chef” eats a burger.

Padma Lakshmi eating a Hardee’s burger hardly does anything for me. Now if Jonathan Rhys Meyers were to eat the burger shirtless and a little drunk while in bed and watching “House” it’d be perfect.

X-Men Weekend!

Instead of sending me roses, Fox is sending me beautiful Hugh Jackman and other sexy mutants. All I can say is thank you. Starting Sunday night!! three 60-second spots will air on Fox. According to Coming Soon.net,

Together, with one spot leading into the next, the spots will form a narrative revealing the origins of Wolverine, and the epic revolution that pits him and other legends of the X-Men universe against powerful forces determined to eliminate them.

To me, this just tells me I am going to see a half-naked Hugh Jackman for three nights in a row. And possibly Ryan Reynolds. Thank you, yes please! I am already a fan of the “X-Men” franchise (even the last one wasn’t so bad), so this is like handing candy to a baby.

To go with these spots, is a new promotional poster, seen here. Liev Schreiber is featured in it as “Victor Creed”, aka “Gambit”.

I would get prepared for more promotional posters, trailers and the like, as “X-Men: Origins” is coming out May 1st, 2009 and now is the time to promote the movie! I am ready, are you??

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Images Via: IMBD, ComingSoon.Net

Jake Gyllenhaal In Court

Jake Gyllenhaal is just like the rest of us. Well, that is if the rest of us were incredibly good-looking and could crack open walnuts using only our abs.

Jake was spotted in an LA courthouse this week doing his civic duty as a prospective juror. The case, a misdemeanor battery case, is set to start later in the week.

According to US Magazine:

“While in the courtroom, Gyllenhaal was allowed to go through the juror questioning process known as voire dire in a private room.”

The rest of the peons had to complete their questioning in front of the courtroom. Gyllenhaal left for the day and is expected to return Wednesday to find out if he has been selected as a juror for the case. I wonder how many random skanks are reporting for jury duty this morning?

Note to the Dame: I hope you stop resorting to violence in Los Angeles in order to meet Gyllenhaal. I know it is only a misdemeanor, but it adds up over time.

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