Matt Damon and Shawn Johnson are NOT Dead, Hooray!

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Ok, so I was admittedly too busy indulging in a few tonics and watching reruns of “AbFab” yesterday and called it “research” and missed the Matt Damon dead rumor. I should really make weekly posting of celebs who aren’t dead.

Regardless some random junkie site reported that Matt Damon was found dead. Details were fabricated from a supposed post on the “Good Will Hunting” star’s blog stating that he was “going into the desert to search for gold and adventure.” The site claimed that TMZ was reporting his death, which in fact was a lie.

Matt Damon, an American actor and philanthropist, was found dead in California’s Palo Verde mountain area on Wednesday. He was 38. According to TMZ’s web site, Damon, who was officially reported missing Friday, was on a camping trip. His body was found by an Imperial County Sheriff’s Department deputy on Wednesday. The cause of death is unknown.

According to TMZ.com on Wednesday, law enforcement headed into the desert near San Diego on Tuesday. That day, TMZ.com reported, “Damon sent a text message to a friend that he was out of water and needed help. There was a massive search that ended abruptly.”

It’s all full of BS as Shawn Johnson was also reported dead but Johnson’s death rumor didn’t have the details that Damon’s death did. Rest easy as BOTH are alive and well. FYI…Robert Pattinson, Charo and Madonna are also still alive.

ABC Reveals Cast Of “Dancing With The Stars”

When “Dancing with the Stars” first began, I was all over the show like white on rice. Maybe it was my love for the dance, or my undying love for Joey McIntyre (who really should have won the first season). Right. It was Joey.

I’ve stuck with the show despite the yawnfest the last two seasons have become. In fact, I have never been as grateful to the manufacturers of the DVR as I was last season when I was able to fast-forward through all of Cloris Leachman’s “dancing”.

Yet here I am again, on the brink of yet another season, eagerly awaiting the news of who made the cast this season and who didn’t (I can always hope Joey will make a comeback). And once again, I am sadly disappointed. This year’s cast looks like a cross between a class reunion of the Betty Ford Clinic, and the Riker’s Island waitlist. Seriously ABC, I thought this was “Dancing with the Stars”?

This season, we will be privy to the dance styling of Ty Murray and his wife Jewel. I haven’t heard from her in years, but I guess she has some reality show on CMT which is the channel I pass on my way to more exciting channels, like C-Span.

We also get Steve-O who is famous for a slew of drug-related arrests and stapling his ass-cheeks together and rapper Lil’ Kim, who I predict will either be naked or in a holding cell by episode four.

There are the usual washed-up athletes, including former NFL player Lawrence Taylor and gymnast Shawn Johnson who, at 17, is the youngest competitor this season. Shouldn’t she be in school or something?

ABC also landed such ‘hot’ actors as Gilles Marini whom I have never heard of and Denise Richard whom I wish I had never heard of.

This is going to be a long, sequenced full season. At least Maksim is back, chest blazing.

See a full list of the “stars” via People.

Image Via: ABC