Paris Hilton See-Through Dress and Thong Pimp Beer – Photos

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Ah, yes Paris Hilton. Here is something to help you wash the stank of Valentine’s Day off as you mumble through Monday morning with all the in-love-and-junk couples asking what you did for the “holiday.” Thankfully, we singletons have Paris Hilton and her Go-Go Gadget Hot Mess to make us feel a little bit better about ourselves.

Hilton was in Brazil pimping some beer that she has been hired to promote. She was got hammered drunk and did the Dance of the Seven Venereal Diseases. Because when you see Paris stomping around like some rejected RuPaul’s Drag Contestant while knocking shiz over and will later be found crying in the men’s bathroom because she got “lost,” you say to yourself “I wannabe be a walking crab farm too!”

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Images Via: Celebrity Fix

Michael Buble Loves Sex, Cake and Pot

I am pretty sure everyone does. Although it sounds more like my Sunday night, it is actually a list of Michael Buble’s favorite pastimes.

His ex-secret lovah, Tiffany Bromley, went squealing to anyone willing to listen about Mikey’s Tiger Woods-esque habits.

Via News.co.au

“Michael saw himself as a real ladies’ man who could schmooze any women into bed, and had done on tours. He told me I was too uptight and needed to loosen up. He bragged about how it gave the ultimate pleasure to women. I just ignored him. But he was good in bed.

It was part of Michael’s routine to smoke late at night. Then he always got hungry. He’d raid the hotel mini-bar and eat three or four Snickers bars in one go – plus pistachios, peanuts, sweets and liquorice. He had an enormous appetite. He was quite immature too and threw schoolboy tantrums at people if he didn’t get his own way. We had several rows where he’d blow up over nothing then he crawl back like a weak, whimpering child, saying something like, ‘Sorry, I’m an asshole.’ “

He has danglers and will act like a sex crazed teenager for the rest of his life. Did anyone honestly think he sat at home knitting? It hardly surprises me that his idea of heaven is a part farm in Vegas where it rains Little Debbie snacks.

Carrie Prejean Topless Joins Michael Phelps Hook Up Photos

This keeps getting better. Carrie Prejean, homophobic hypocrite extraordinaire, has more topless photos of herself floating around. These were dug up by the ever watchful TMZ and feature a frontal shot of the walking pageant pr nightmare including a nipple shot. Miss California appears to have a vault of revealing photos.

Another story floating around is that Miss California hooked up with Olympic man whore, Michael Phelps. She and the man-dolphin met in Vegas and failed to keep it there. They reportedly hooked up again after their Vegas meet up in his home state.

Sluts I can hang with. Sluts that hate on the gays are what I can’t stand. It gives us hoes tarts a bad name.

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Images Via: The Dirty, TMZ

Hayden Panettiere to Kill Off Milo Ventimiglia

Hayden Panettiere is a straight up panty pirate. She is also a huge pain in the perky tush if you believe the stories floating around. Hayden is trying to get her ex killed off on tv because she doesn’t want to share a set.

I reported on Monday how she is quickly morphing into Lindsay Lohan and shoved a reporter while bitching about the press ruining her life. (See that torrid tale by clicking HERE.) Now she is digging her claws into ex boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia. The 19 year old is throwing tantrums trying to get Milo off the show they both star in, “Heroes.”

Via OK! Magazine:

“She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him,” the pal tells OK!. “She is making it difficult for everyone involved.”

Hayden reportedly broke things off with Peter Petrelli (Heroes reference) so I am not sure why she is being a bitter little hag. Rumor states that she wanted to be single and nail a circus tent full of hood rats. Ok, so I added the hood-rat bit, but you know she isn’t a very stealth cheater. So what did he do to anger this beast? She was all over Jesse McCartney before she had broken things off with Milo according to the story.

I am guessing he went to Chuck E. Cheese without her.

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Images Via: Wenn

Hayden Panettiere Fights and Smokes – Photos

Little Hayden Panettiere has a Kanye West sized ego. Not to mention she is straight up street. She has been fighting reporters and smoking. Oooo…she’s bad. Like Michael Jackson knife fighting bad! The 19 year old who boasts a resume of “Racing Stripes” and “Bring It On: All or Nothing,” feels the press makes her life a living hell.

Hayden recently broke up with her pedo boyfriend so she could slut up clubs Paris Hilton style. (Yes, she is underage but that hasn’t stopped her.) At a party supporting the Rehabilitation Hospital of the Pacific Foundation the “Heroes” starlet threw a temper tantrum. She yelled at the photographers and shoved a reporter.

Per Us Weekly:

“A female television reporter touched her shoulder and asked, “May we talk with you, Hayden?“ Miffed, the actress jerked her head around and screamed, “Don’t you ever touch me!” She then icily asked a red carpet handler, “Oh, am I supposed to do interviews?” Approaching various media outlets, she snapped again: “You all make my life miserable” and refused to answer any questions.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds Hayden! I know that “Bring It On 2” was robbed of an Oscar and you think you are the next Meryl Streep, but you aren’t allowed to abuse your minions until you you’ve replaced your plasma with Red Bull and blow. Like Lindsay Lohan. Get a role model sweety.

What Others Said:

Webster is my Bitch - “Sounds like somebody needs to be taken down a notch. Of course, since Hayden Panettiere is only three apples high to begin with, if she’s taken down a notch she’ll no longer be tall enough to ride the Teacups ride at Disneyland. Heyoo!”

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Images Via: Splash

Kate Hudson Makes Jokes About Anne Hathaway’s Ex

Someone hit reheat on the bitch box. Kate Hudson made a few backhanded jokes about her costar’s ex boyfriend.

Anne Hathaway suffered a very public breakup with Raffaelo Follieri after he was incarcerated for money laundering and posing as Pope Benedict XVI’s representative. He is currently sitting in jail for a term of 4 years.

Letterman asked her about Follieri and she let the barbs fly. (Look for it around the 6 minute mark.)

“When the host brought up the subject of Hathaway’s 2008 split from Follieri, who is currently serving a four-and-a-half year prison sentence, Hudson laughed and replied, “Surprises in life are awesome.” And when Letterman asked if Hudson had met Hathaway before the movie, she joked, “We met the Pope.”

Hudson and Anne Hathaway were rumored to be enemies on and off set. As the story goes… Kate was a huge diva, but Anne wasn’t having any of her mighty-mighty attitude BS and from there the rift grew.

Sounds like someone is a wee bit bitter. Or drunk. Was it just me or did she seem a tiny bit tipsy there at the beginning? She was stuttering, demanding “kiss kiss” and talking about how she wants to bang her son’s ski instructor and Peyton Manning. Bah, I am sure it was a cocktail for nerves or something. But I still think she might have been one or two drinks away from a tickle fight with David.

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Images Via: Splash News