LAWD. Snooki is going to give birth to a drunken Ewok and now Megan Fox might be pregnant with a mini trailer park sage with a case of mythical OCD. I weep for humanity.
‘Jersey Shore’ Cast to be Replaced
June 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment
After 5 seasons of getting drunk and waking up in trash cans, crashing into police escorts, drinking enough booze to make The Hoff cry over a thousand cheeseburgers and coming up with poetic quotes like: “I’m a bartender. I do, you know, great things,” the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ is going to be replaced.
Snooki’s Police Car Crash
May 31, 2011 By 1 Comment
Normally I don’t bother with these twits from Monkey Island. However, I had to ask who their right mind would let Snooki drive them around Italy? One would probably be safer letting an actual drunken gorilla drive.
The cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ has invaded Italy. My apologies to Europe. Snooki was behind the wheel when the stack of phone books she was sitting on must have slipped and she crashed into one of the police escort’s cars. She rear ended the officer and wedged her ride between the cop and the highway protection wall. They took Snook into custody, but revealed that no alcohol was involved. (Stupidity was though.)
Snooki’s Book Hits Stores Today – Video
January 4, 2011 By 1 Comment
God help us! Nicole Polizzi aka Snooki from MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ released her first book in stores today. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino released a book recently as well. I know you want to leave work right now and head to the local book store to get both of these gems. Snooki’s book, ‘A Shore Thing,’ is a book all about the quest to find love on the Jersey Shore. Although Snooki isn’t a character in the book, its story line is based on her experiences. But what literary genius will be in the pages of Snooki’s book?
Per PopEater:
“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
“Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
“Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
I seriously feel like my IQ dropped just reading those quotes. I think it’s safe to say that this is one book I won’t be buying anytime soon. And even if I got a free copy, I still don’t think I’d open it. I’ve read all I need to know – this is garbage!
Click here to find out why J-Woww’s New Years Eve outfit caused a stir!
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Snooki’s New Year’s Eve Ball – Pics
December 31, 2010 By 2 Comments
She may not be dropping in Times Square, but this year there will be no such thing as a Snooki-less New Years Eve. As preparations begin for tonight, we’re getting a sneak peek of Snooki’s ‘hamster ball’:
After some confusion regarding where Snooki would actually drop for New Years Eve, she took to Twitter to assure us that she would be dropping… somewhere.
Don’t worry, I’m still gonna be your fricken’ NYE hamster ina ball…I wish NYC would focus instead of worrying about where I’m gonna drop it.
Was she doing a test-run, or did she pre-taper her ball drop? Yesterday, without delay MTV announced that Snooki’s big bash was moving back to where it all started – Seaside Heights, New Jersey! … Anyone else want to roll her down a really steep hill?
Click here for a list of 15 celebrity babies born in 2010!
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Snooki Will Be Stuffed In A Ball On New Years Eve!
December 9, 2010 By 1 Comment
This is, by far, the most ridiculous thing I have heard today. In less than 30 days Snooki will be stuffed in a ball and dropped 50 feet!
Per E!:
Jersey Shore’s one-name wonder plans to steal herself away from the clubs long enough this New Year’s Eve to curl up inside a ball dropping in New York City’s Times Square as the clock ticks down to midnight.
I guess she pops out when she gets to the bottom? Sorta like a twisted, tanned-up jack-in-the-box. Nice!
Click here to catch up on the Brett Farve Sex Scandal.
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