Hollywood's Grand Dame of Gossip and Style
After 5 seasons of getting drunk and waking up in trash cans, crashing into police escorts, drinking enough booze to make The Hoff cry over a thousand cheeseburgers and coming up with poetic quotes like: “I’m a bartender. I do, you know, great things,” the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ is going to be replaced.
I don’t encourage violence but I have to say I really saw this coming and I love it! Who delivered the physical beat down?
I don’t normally waste my time on the drunken Oompa Loompas/Village Idiots on Jersey Shore, but this gift from karma was far too amusing to pass up.
The monkey who dubbed himself “The Situation” was invited to last night’s Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump so comics would have something more idiotic than Trump’s weave to make fun of, but he attempted to tell some jokes. Of course he just further proved that he is a total douche that is as witty as a box of tampons.
“The Sitch,” as he’s called, deadpanned to Cummings, “I actually wouldn’t call you a grenade because you won’t be blowing up anytime soon.” (Buh-dum-bum!) He told Snoop Dogg that he and Trump had a lot in common because Trump owned a lot of property and Snoop’s ancestors were property. (Snoop did not appear amused.)
Before long, the audience began to boo so loudly that comedian Jeffrey Ross, who’s been at this so long he’s known as the Roastmaster General, had to interject into the act to try to save the Situation, who’d already claimed he shared one quality with Ross: “This is my first night doing comedy.” “It’s also your last,” Ross responded, to overwhelming applause.”
Later Snoop retaliated along with “Family Guy” creator, Seth MacFarlane and actress deaf actress Marlee Matlin.
Snoop: “Snoop pretended to mistake the Situation for Snooki, “I’m sorry,” he said, “all white people who act black look the same to me.”
Seth MacFarlane: “MacFarlane joked that “the Sitch” and Snooki made a good couple because “Italians are known for grinding organs with monkeys.”
Marlee Matlin: “”Like the Situation,” she said in American Sign Language, “I too have never heard the sound of laughter.”
Later, The Situation joked with reporters that he thought he bombed because no one liked his aviator sunglasses and explained that Snoop told him to wear them cover the fact he was reading a teleprompter and couldn’t fathom why he failed. He wore the “offending” glasses because Snoop “told me to.”
This guy is six different kinds of stupid. Someone set this boy down and explain that Snoop was making fun of him and he will look like an aged and withered leather boot in 5 years if he doesn’t ease up on the GTL.
God help us! Nicole Polizzi aka Snooki from MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ released her first book in stores today. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino released a book recently as well. I know you want to leave work right now and head to the local book store to get both of these gems. Snooki’s book, ‘A Shore Thing,’ is a book all about the quest to find love on the Jersey Shore. Although Snooki isn’t a character in the book, its story line is based on her experiences. But what literary genius will be in the pages of Snooki’s book?
Per PopEater:
“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
“Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
“Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
I seriously feel like my IQ dropped just reading those quotes. I think it’s safe to say that this is one book I won’t be buying anytime soon. And even if I got a free copy, I still don’t think I’d open it. I’ve read all I need to know – this is garbage!
Click here to find out why J-Woww’s New Years Eve outfit caused a stir!
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via: WENN.com
Now that the second season of “Jersey Shore” has come to an end, we can move on to some light reading – like Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s new book. Yes, he has a book coming out… Yes, that means he can actually read and write… or at least talk and have someone else doing the penning for him. Now The Situation is giving us a sneak peek at the cover for his new book. If you guessed he would be sporting a tuxedo, monocle and top hat while sitting near a fireplace with a glass of chardonnay – you were way off.
Per People:
The cover features, shockingly, a photo of a grinning Sorrentino flashing his famous abs.
Sorry, I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Can this dude do ANYTHING without lifting his shirt? We’ve all seen nice abs before on lots of people… this is not something he discovered! “Here’s The Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore” hits bookstores early next month and for those of you in the “Situation Nation” – this may not be the work of T.S. Eliot or Leo Tolstoy, but we’re sure it will be just as difficult to read.
A bargain basement book. It will be in the Clearance bins before we all know it.
Click here for 7 ‘Vampire Diaries’ spoilers!
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via: WENN.com, Amazon.com
It’s on!!! … between two MTV superstars. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from “Jersey Shore” has dissed “Jackass” prankster Steve-O. It reportedly happened at the “MTV Video Music Awards” – Apparently, Steve-O is a Jersey Shore fan, but when he tried to approach The Situation, he got “cool-guy’d.” (According to Ehren McGhehey of Jackass, being cool-guy’d is when someone brushes you off with an uninterested nod of the head.) So according to Ehren and Jason “Wee-Man” Acuna, there’s no love in the Jackass camp for The Situation – Except maybe from Steve-O himself. Yes, in spite of being cool-guy’d, he’s still a fan.
Per MTV:
“I have a rescue dog named Walter, and Walter and I are such fans of the ‘Jersey Shore’ that we changed his name to DJ Wally D,” Steve-O confessed. “Yeah, he pulled a little bit of a ‘cool guy’ routine,” Steve-O confirmed. “But then again, that’s kind of what he’s supposed to do, right? Be a douche bag?” he laughed. “What am I, like, going to be shocked?”
I’m sure it’s not sitting too well now with The Situation that Steve-O lasted two more weeks that he did on his season of ‘Dancing With The Stars.’
Click here for a recap of last nights ‘Dancing With The Stars.’
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via: WENN.com
… Can we say ‘Photoshop Award of the Week’, or has Bret Michaels gone all ‘Benjamin Button’ on us and is only getting better looking with age? Although Michaels appears to have abs that would totally crush Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s, his picture on ‘Billboard Magazine‘ comes off looking way too air-brushed. Maybe it’s the fake bake tan. Or the body oil. Or, you know, the fact that it’s obviously been altered.
Per 411mania:
Bret is promoting his new show, Life As I Know It, with a cover story in Billboard.
“It’s an all-access backstage pass into my everyday life, about finding balance between my passion for my family, my relationship with [girlfriend] Kristi [Gibson] and being on the road,” he said.
Bret also talked about his career longevity.
“Writers always use the phrase ‘aging rocker,’ and I’m like, “What other option do I have?” You’re either aging or you’re dead. So I’m embracing it,” he said.
While I’m not knocking the fact that Bret probably does have a nice little body on him, something about this picture just doesn’t look right … His navel looks like a cubby hole. One arm appears slightly bigger than the other. He has no hips and his neck looks like it’s bloated. Surely the photoshop artist on this one has been fired, right?
Thoughts?
Click here to see who was named as the next ABC’s ‘Bachelor’.
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via:
Excuse me, did I miss the time she was actually a “star?” Despite being famous for, well – pretty much nothing except for the nasty baby-mama/daddy-drama going on between her and her ex Levi Johnston – Bristol Palin has joined the cast of the upcoming season of ABC’s ‘Dancing With The Stars,’ set to premiere Sept. 20th with a cast that is said to also includes David Hasselhoff, Audrina Patridge, ‘Jersey’s Shore’ The Situation, and Brandy.
And she claims that Levi is a fame-whore, being was upset with him for wanting to try and achieve fame? Pot? Kettle? Hello?
Per E! Online:
This will be Bristol Palin’s second gig with ABC, having guest starred last month on ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. It seems this teen mom may be taking a page from Melissa Rycroft’s book, using DWTS to rebound after her recent breakup (with Levi Johnston).
I thought they got the “stars” (cough) for this show from a list of has-been celebrities who want to re-energize their lagging careers. How does Palin fit this description? One has to BE someone before they are considered to be a “has-been.”
Other new names reported to be joining the cast of “DWTS” are former ‘Brady Bunch‘ mom Florence Henderson, ‘Dirty Dancing‘ star Jennifer Grey, ex-NBA star Rick Fox, former NFL star Kurt Warner, and comedienne Margaret Cho.
Sorry ABC, you just lost me. Casting fail!
Click here to see who else is rumored to be joining the show for Season 11.
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via: WENN.com
Want some 90’s fun? Click HERE to vote for The Best Thing To Come From the 90’s….
‘In Touch Weekly‘ is hilariously reporting that Britney Spears has lost interest in her current boyfriend Jason Trawick, and has made a wish list of guys she’d like her father to set her up with. According to ‘inside sources’ they include: Ryan Phillippe, Doug Reinhardt, Sam Worthington… and yes, even Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (Ugh, I just cringed at having to type his name) leaving me to believe the state of this poor girls mental health is worse than I ever dreamed.
Per Starpulse:
Bosses at Spears’ official website have tackled the speculation head-on – uploading the report onto the site and striking through the page with a ‘Bull—t’ alert in bold red print. The post is commented on by website manager Adam, who adds, “Check out whose (sic) guilty of printing lies in this week’s BS Alert!”
The “Situation?” Come on. I think if Britney was going to give a list of men she wanted to date even she would aim a bit higher then that. Does anybody really find him attractive in the slightest?
[Keep Clicking Thumbnails for a Larger Image]
Images Via: WENN.com
Adele won Album of the Year at this years BRIT Awards and flipped off the awards show executives at the end of the show. This was no good-spirited jest: Adele was angry that the BRIT Awards host, at heeding from the show’s production executives, cut off her heartfelt acceptance speech for the biggest award of [...]
Just one more reason I love me some Adele. The ‘Someone Like You’ singer was cut off just as she getting her acceptance speech rolling. After winning Album of the Year, she had little time speak after the applause finally died down. Thanks to time constraints, she had to be ushered off in order for [...]
You may be selling organs on the Black Market so you can afford to pay fill up your gas tank and you may be occupying random locations to fight social/economic inequality, but here is President Obama singing ‘Sweet Home Chicago.’ Barak closed a ‘White House Blues’ concert with a song. You can click HERE to [...]
Gleeks. Are they like the more sane version of Twihards? I am not sure, but ‘Glee’ fans might have something to clutch their pearls about. Life and Style is running with a story that two of the principal characters are hooking up.
