Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise Hit by Garbage Truck

Relax. It was a fender bender and everyone is ok. I am sure it had nothing to do with Tom Cruise’s army of crazies praying to space Jesus to have Holmes suffer some sort of punishment.

A truck sideswiped Katie Holmes and as she and Suri were driving home. Suri had just finished her gymnastics lesson at Chelsea Piers in Manhattan. The garbage truck driver was at fault and no one was hurt. You can see the damaged done to Katie’s car HERE.

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Tom Cruise is a Straight Up Ladies Man

…and I am Queen of Magical Ponies that crap cotton candy and can recite the every element on the periodic table while juggling watermelons.

Here is a little diddy that Page Six is running with. It makes Tom Cruise out to be a bit of a suave ladies man that also gives a congratulatory wank on his acting abilities. In fear of his space sheep trying to eat my brains or force me to wear paisley, I will pretend that the “source” isn’t Tom disguising his voice with hanky and that terrible accent from ‘Far and Away.’

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Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise Divorce Settlement

We all thought we were going to witness a long, drawn out celebrity throw down in which Tom Cruise would go all Hunger Games on Katie Holmes. That isn’t going to happen as they have already reached a divorce settlement.

The settlement came as fast as the divorce announcement itself. That raises eyebrows, but the details may be even more revealing…

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Katie Holmes Looks Happy – PHOTOS

Katie Holmes has surfaced again without her wedding ring on. I don’t know why the absence of the ring surprises people, but for some reason everyone finds it fascinating. Perhaps it’s a one ring to rule them all thing. Regardless, after filing for divorce and escaping the sound of Tom Cruise’s lifts pattering across the floor, she looks noticeably happier.

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‘Rock of Ages’ FLOPS

WHAT? People don’t want to see Tom Cruise attempting to regain his youth by strutting around in a hat and a fluffy fur coat as he butchers some of the best songs that Aunt Tootie used to tease her weave to? This is shocking. Just shocking.

As of this moment, ‘Rock of Ages’ is getting a 42% approval from critics and just over half the audience give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. The true reception is in the box office recipients. The musical studded with star power only hobbled in at $15.1 million. To put it in perspective, the film’s biggest competition at the box office were in their second weeks. ‘Madagascar 3’ did over twice that and ‘Prometheus’ did $20 million. ‘That’s My Boy’ did even worse as it placed 5th in the box office in the film’s opening weekend and crawled to the finish on Sunday with $13 million.

As far as reviews go, well, we will just let them speak for themselves.

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Hiding Age, Underage and Aging Habit – Blind Items

“This established male actor that has A-list status has been doing everything he can to regain his youth and appeal to a younger audience. He has had a few surgical procedures and botox. He shelled out thousands on fighting the aging battle, but he suddenly became very cheap on his hair. After buying a box of drug store hair color, he attempted to do the job himself. He ended up botching it and had to have a professional come fix it. He made up a huge story about how it was all an “accident” and claimed he mixed up his leave in conditioner with his wife’s dye.” [Hollywood Dame]

THIS ONE NOW HAS A REVEAL!

Click ‘Read More…’ below for the answer.

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Matthew Broderick as Ferris Bueller Super Bowl Ad – VIDEO

Let the Super Bowl commercials begin. We still have just under a week until the Giants will play the Patriots, but ads are already spilling onto the net. (SPOILER ALERT: It will ends like it did last time and Eli and the Giants will be skipping around the field singing ‘Brighter Than The Sun’ before Peyton Manning comes in and weave snatches his moment by retiring.)

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Katie Holmes Gets Naked – PHOTOS

Katie Holmes stripped it all down for H. Stern’s ad campaign wearing… well, nothing. Who knew she had the sexy biatch gene? Katie models some of the spectacular pieces from her third H. Stern ad campaign wearing little more than black undergarments, and less in some shots. The jewelry is clearly meant to be the star in these ads but Katie certainly does look gorgeous!

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‘Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’ FLOPS

If you were one of the few willing to shell out an arm and a leg to go to the movies over the holiday weekend, you were probably either seeing Tom Cruise’s Napoleon complex in ‘Mission Impossible’ or Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law engaging in thinly veiled notes of man-love in ‘Sherlock Holmes.’

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Tom Cruise Paying for Fans

When Tom Cruise arrived in Mumbai to promote his new movie, “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol,” hundreds of fans showed up to cheer him on and ask for his autograph. However, a report in a local newspaper claimed that at least 200 members of the audience were extras who were paid to pretend to be fans – given approximately 150 rupees a piece (or about $3) and lunch to look excited outside the local premiere.

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