Lindsay Lohan Vanity Fair Quotes – PHOTOS

Just before the LA court system dipped Lindsay Lohan in RID and through her into jail, she did an interview with Vanity Fair. Basically it is denial tossed in I DON’T HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM and when you open the mag it smells of vodka and desperation.

I will save you the money you were going to shill for this and go over the highlights (emphasis on the HIGH)…

Her reasoning and “proof” she isn’t boozehound: ““If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking—so that says something, because I was fine.”

On why her coke guzzling is Michael Lohan and his mesh shirt’s fault: “I think everyone has their own addictions and hopefully learns how to get past them. I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.”

Regarding her serious actress-ing: “I don’t care what anyone says. I know that I’m a damn good actress. … And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible—but that’s what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes.”

Her confusion on what the word “dabbling” means and the fact she snorted anything that was put in front of her: “I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have—never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done—to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, O.K., ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.” (Editor’s note: “Dabbling” does not mean snorting enough coke to blanket the state of California.)

On why her only friend is a bottle of Jack: ““So many people around me would say they cared for the wrong reasons. A lot of people were pulling from me, taking from me and not giving. I had a lot of people that were there for me for, you know, the party.”

Her pinky swear to be a sober and law abiding citizen who doesn’t go clubbing on a daily basis: “I want my career back. I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies. And if that takes not going out to a club at night, then so be it. It’s not fun anyway.”

On that note, Lindsay was pulled over for running a stone sign on her way to Chateau Marmont this weekend.

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Images Via: WENN.com

Angelina Jolie Talks Marriage, Pregnancy and Retirement – Vanity Fair PHOTOS

Angelina Jolie took a break from trying to seduce Johnny Depp (click HERE to read about those rumors) and cheating on Brad Pitt (click HERE to see those stories) to talk with Vanity Fair about her kids, acting and a possible marriage.

Regarding her rainbow nation of children: “No, I’m not pregnant. We’re not opposed to it. But we want to make sure we can give everybody special time. They’re kids now, and can play together, but they’re going to need a lot more talking in the middle of the night, like I did with my mom for hours. We want to make sure we don’t build a family so big that we don’t have absolutely enough time to raise them each really well. Mad’s a real intellectual, which I can take no credit for genetically. He’s great at school, great at history. He feels like he could be a writer or travel the world and learn about places and things. Zahara’s got an extraordinary voice and is just so elegant and well spoken. Shiloh’s hysterically funny, one of the goofiest, most playful people you’ll ever meet. Knox and Viv are classic boy and girl. She’s really female. And he’s really a little dude.”

Regarding marriage: “We aren’t against getting married,” but “it’s just like we already are. Children are clearly a commitment, a bigger commitment [than marriage]. It’s for life.”

Regarding Retirement: ““It’s not the most important thing in my life. Acting helped me as I was growing up. It helped me learn about myself, helped me travel, helped me understand life, express myself, all those wonderful things. So I’m very, very grateful, it’s a fun job. It’s a luxury. Look, I’m at work today in the middle of Venice. But I don’t think I’ll do it much longer.” Jolie says this reassessment is mostly due to her family: “Because I have a happy home….I got back from work last night, and everybody was playing music and dancing and I suddenly found myself dancing around with a bunch of little fun crazy people.”
She also mentions that Brad’s icky looking goat beard doesn’t bother her simply stating she loves him “in every state.”

For more on Jolie’s interview with Vanity Fair click “Read More…”

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Tiger Woods ‘Vanity Fair’ Cover

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Tiger Woods is quite the tabloids star lately, but now he’s popping up on the cover of Februarys’ “Vanity Fair.” The ‘MIA’ golfer was photographed by Annie Leibovitz, shirtless and lifting weights, for the magazine before he was exposed for the ‘cheetah’ he really is. The issue includes an article written by Buzz Bissinger focusing on the scandal and downfall of one of the worlds greatest golf stars, and is accompanied by a full picture portfolio with never-before-seen shots of a “raw” Woods.

Per Vanity Fair:

“In the end it was the age-old clash of image versus reality…. He deluded himself into thinking he could be something that he wasn’t: untouchable. The greatest feat of his career is that he managed to get away with it for so long in public, the bionic man instead of the human one who hit a fire hydrant.”

I’m sure I’m not the only one whos first thought was ‘prison yard workout’ after seeing the cover picture. Tiger just earned himself some extra Pathetic Points.

Quoteables:

Dlisted – “And at least Annie Leibovitz can pay off some of her creditors so they won’t give her a coronary when they jump out of her bushes as she comes home.”

The Superficial – “Annie Leibovitz has to be pissed. She probably thought she was getting unprecedented access to Tiger when it turns out there’s maybe five females in the world who haven’t seen this shit up close.”

Vanity Fair Claims Heath Ledger Was Married and Tried to Sabotage Role in ‘Dark Knight’

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In the August issue of Vanity Fair, the magazine picks at the scab of Heath Ledger. Upon the recent plethora of celebrity loss, the mag once again digs at the actor. The cover features and old photo of Heath smiling and looking healthy with the bolded all capital letters claiming it’s recount of “Heath Ledger’s Final Days” while the spread inside depicts more happy photos of him with the title “The Last of Heath.”

Vanity Fair went back into his personal life and issues while reexamining what led to his death. Their first mistake was reopening a wound over a year old and their second was claiming Heath and Michelle Williams were married. Later, the mag edited and corrected their flubs mentioning their “failed marriage.”

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Via Vanity Fair:

“Terry Gilliam—Ledger’s friend and mentor, and the director of Doctor Parnassus—agrees with Pecorini that the romance between Ledger and Williams began to unravel during the Oscar campaign for Brokeback Mountain. “The whole machinery started growing up around them,” Gilliam says. “That was the moment when it changed, when he realized, Uh-oh. We perceive the world differently. He didn’t care about things like those awards.”

According to Pecorini, “Heath was always blaming himself [about the relationship], asking, What did I do wrong?” Adds Gilliam, “Because he’s a much nicer person than I am, he really thought he could do the right thing. He was trying to be decent and graceful, give her whatever she wanted—the house, every fucking thing. But once it started going south, it went very quickly. He was overwhelmed by lawyers, and there were more and more of them, as if they were breeding. I said, ‘This is bullshit. Heath, just end it. Get out—it’s bad. You’ve got to just walk away from it.’ The stakes kept going up. He wouldn’t listen to any of us.”

As Ledger’s relationship with Williams unraveled, and the pair started dealing with lawyers and custody issues, according to Gilliam, Ledger fell apart. “The thing that really made Heath snap” was legal wrangling over his daughter, Matilda, Gilliam says. “He said, ‘Just f**k all of you! I’m not giving Michelle anything.’” Recalls another source, when it came to Matilda’s care, “there were definitely heated conversations, and emotions were high.” (Ledger’s lawyer declined to comment on any aspect of the separation or custody dispute.)”

To read more about Vanity Fair’s “Last Story of Heath” including allegations of insomnia and attempt to bail on his role as the Joker in “Dark Knight,” Click “Read More…” below.

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Images Via: VF

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No One Wants to Buy Gisele Bundchen

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Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar each had their worst selling issues when they featured Gisele Bundchen on their covers. Both magazines suffered a huge dip in single sales and were the worst of the year. Vanity Fair took a huge hit after featuring Bundchen on the cover. A wimpy 280,000 copies were bought which was the lowest sale for the magazine in 2 years. It come as a bit of surprise to the editors. In September of 2007 Gisele was in the top 3 best selling issues for the year.

Per Observer:

“It might be that she’s losing her looks,” quipped Vanity Fair spokeswoman Beth Kseniak.

Ouch. Bitter must be the new black.

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Images Via: Vanity Fair, Harpers Bazaar

Johnny Depp Names a Beach After Heath Ledger

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It’s no secret that sex-on-a-stick, Johnny Depp, has a special place in his heart for Heath Ledger. Depp was one of the 3 actors to finish Heath’s last project, “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.” He, Jude Law and Colin Ferrell each took a role in finishing the film and then donated their paychecks to Matilda Ledger.

Johnny also a special place dedicated to the memory of Heath on his 45-acre private Bahamian island, Little Hall’s Pond Cay. It’s his sanctuary and calm from the media storm that follows Depp.

Via Vanity Fair:

“Little Hall’s Pond has six different beaches–named after Depp’s partner, Vanessa Paradis, and their children, Lily Rose and Jack, as well as his mentors Hunter S. Thompson and Marlon Brando–each with a personality and cove of its own, and one patch of water deemed “Heath’s Place” after the late actor Heath Ledger. There are several small residences, all solar-powered, and transportation consists of a fleet of green golf carts.

“I don’t think I’d ever seen any place so pure and beautiful,” Depp tells Brinkley of the island. “You can feel your pulse rate drop about 20 beats. It’s instant freedom. And that rare beast–simplicity–can be had. And a little morsel of anonymity…. Whenever I was getting frustrated about being ‘novelty boy’ and making movies, I told myself, Calm down. I can come down here and disappear.”

That settles it. I want my own island.

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Images Via: Vanity Fair

Jessica Simpson Talks About Failure in Vanity Fair – Photos

Jessica Simpson took time out from her failed country music career to do a spread for Vanity Fair. The “With You” singer even landed on the cover. (I am guessing all the cool kids were busy.)

Simpson has faced a lot of downfalls lately. Her musical endeavors have plunged as she attempted to reinvent herself in the Opry world. The album failed to even reach the 200,000 marker in sales and 2 of her attempts at films also went down the crapper. “Blonde Ambition,” which barely made $1,771 it’s opening weekend, was followed by “Major Movie Star” going straight to DVD. While on tour she also flubbed many of her live performances. Most assumed she was having a break down.

Via Vanity Fair:

“When it comes to media criticism, that’s just something I have had to train myself – literally train myself – to ignore. Because I’m the one up there onstage, and I can feel the energy of the crowd. And I know when I did good. And I know when I did great. And there wasn’t one time on this tour when I felt like I butchered it. I mean, the way people make it sound, I should have never been singing in the first place.”

(Hmm….there’s a thought.) Despite the failures she seems to be becoming synonymous with, Jessica seems to have faith that things will turn around.

“There will always be another opportunity,” she says, “another door to walk through.”

Awww…she’s like the little engine that could. Only a little less astute.

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Images Via: Vanity Fair

Bridget Moynahan is Going to Shank Gisele Bundchen

Remember when baby daddy stealing Gisele Bundchen talked crazy to Vanity Fair about her Tom Brady’s son being “100% her own” baby? Yeah, that didn’t sit well with his real mother.

Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele. The newlywed Victoria Secret veteran wasn’t exactly in the good graces of Bridget, but now that she has brought baby John into her press whoring the gloves are off. A “friend” of team Moynahan went to Page Six and revealed her wrath.

“If Gisele loved Bridget’s child like he was ’100 percent her own,’ then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom’s virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever.

Don’t you think Jack will grow up and read her comments and find them disrespectful to him and his mother? If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he’d respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion. Is she is so desperate for attention that she can’t find anything more productive to talk about other than Bridget’s child?”

Egads. Someone is going to get an earful from someone’s attorney. I am guessing Tom doesn’t ask Gisele to do anything. Princess Chi Chi’s probably does, says and gets whatever her perky bum wants. The “friend” also added in a final quip…

“Hey Gisele — real mothers don’t call their kids ‘it.’ “

This is true and hence my aversion to children. I once called the little mongrel boys next door “those things of mass destruction their parents call children” and I am no longer on their Christmas Card list. Which is said because I now lack something festive to line my kitty’s poo box with.

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Images Via: Vanity Fair, Pacific Coast News

Vanity Fair Covers West Side Story – Photos

It’s like I have died and gone to musical heaven. Vanity Fair is covering “West Side Story” in a photo spread packed with stars. The spread features Rodrigo Santoro, Jennifer Lopez, Camilla Belle, Ben Barnes and Chris Evans.

Bernardo, in red, Rodrigo Santoro (Behind the Sun) leads fellow Sharks played by Brandon T. Jackson circa “Tropic Thunder” and Jay Hernandez from “Grindhouse.” The Jets’ leader, Riff, in yellow, is played by Chris Evans from the “Fantastic Four” movies. Completing his crew are Cam Gigandet of “Twilight,” and Drake Bell of Nickelodeon’s “Drake & Josh,” followed by Robert Pattinson. Camilla joins in as Maria, the love interest for Tony, portrayed by Narnia’s “Prince Caspian,” Ben Barnes.

For tickets to West Side story in New York click HERE.

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Images Via: Vanity Fair

Vanity Fair Calls Angelina Jolie ‘Shrill and Controlling’

Thanks to the eagles eyes over at Celebitchy, my day is a bit brighter. Someone finally called Angelina Jolie out.

Instead of fearing one of the most powerful couples in Hollywood, Peter Bart tells it like it is. Bart is the co-host of AMC’s “Shootout” and editor-in-chief of Variety. He did a guest piece in the March issue of Vanity Fair and confirmed what we all assumed of Jolie. In his rant about the film industry he deemed Angelina Jolie “shrill and controlling; Pitt seems clueless.”

Per Vanity Fair Via Celebitchy:

“Stars must mobilize more than simple disdain in dealing with the press. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie don’t even have press agents anymore. Sit with them in a social situation and they’re quietly reflective. But in her interviews, Jolie comes across as shrill and controlling; Pitt seems clueless. Actors need to select a public role model. Clint Eastwood is a good one: the cinematic statesman, a study in restrained dignity. Clooney is another: the smiling showman, always ready with a quip.”

Sounds about right. He left out the bit about her self perception of sainthood and her astonishing level of snobbery, but I am sure he assumed that was understood.

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Images Via: Wenn