Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper Engaged

Let’s hope another marriage for Squints will last longer than the milk in my fridge and not end with accusations of fraud. Rumors are brewing that Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are getting married.

The proof? Star Mag (via Page Six) was stalking the rom-com star and saw her shopping for Carolina Herrera wedding gowns.

First, Zellweger was photographed last week by Star magazine at the Carolina Herrera boutique in West Hollywood, where a big rack of wedding gowns was wheeled by. After browsing for two hours, she left with a garment bag. “She just kept smiling when asked if she’s getting married,” the weekly reports. Second, she and Cooper had lunch with her parents yesterday at the Tribeca Grand.

This claim makes me scratch my head because I didn’t realize Herrera stocked gowns for members of Skeletor’s army in store. Whateves. Mazel tov.

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Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Wearing Wedding Band – PICS

The eagle eyes of the net have noticed that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been wearing wedding bands. The couple has photographed on several different occasions wearing the gold band that they appear to be sharing.

Let the engagement, wedding in Vegas and pregnancy rumors begin! My guess is that it is just a mushy couple thing. It also looks a bit like the ring Rob wore for “Bel Ami.”

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Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower Engaged !?!

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Great gobs of Twihard tears. Here is another rumor that has fangirls everywhere running to their respective sparkle-pire shrines hidden in their closets. Bonnie Wright and Jamie Campbell Bower are rumored to be engaged. Take a deep breath and put on your kindergarten imagination caps because this comes from the Daily Star (via Digital Spy).

According to the Daily Star, the pair are now engaged to be married.The two were apparently overheard talking about the upcoming wedding at a party in London.

“Bonnie was even showing off her glittering engagement ring,” said a source.

I am sorry sir, but I am not buying this. She is 19 and he is 21. They both have ice cream trucks full of cash and hid their romance for 6 months before confirming to the world that they are making lovey eyes at each other….and now they are getting married? Just in time to start the press pilgrimage for “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (June 30).

Hmmm…I wonder if Jennifer Aniston orchestrated this. Regardless, Wright has been walking around with a diamond ring on her left ring finger and reps merely responded with the ol’ cliche: “We don’t comment on our clients personal lives.”

UPDATE: Rumors have reheated and Jamie Campbell Bower is Twittering about it! CLICK HERE to see the update…

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Prince William and Kate Middleton June Engagement – Video

Here is another engagement rumor. This time it’s a Prince Hot Ginger’s older brother rumored to be getting ready to propose.

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Prince William has been dating Kate Middleton on and off for nearly seven years. She has been said to be playing “Single Ladies” in hopes to convey subliminal messaging circa Zack Morris’ Saved by the Bell attempt to lure Kelly to the dance. Ok, so maybe that is just a guess, but you know that party planning princess is gives him the Put-Ring-On-It look every time he asks for the royal Wheaties.

Via People:

“America’s Today show also joined the royal wedding bandwagon, zeroing in on journalist Tina Brown’s Daily Beast report of Tuesday, in which she cites June 3 and 4 as being “mysteriously blocked out” on the Palace calendar, possibly for the announcement of an engagement – with the Prince, 27, and Middleton, 28, then tying the knot in November.”

Others are poo-pooing on the rumor stating that he isn’t ready and has too much going on in June to be getting down on one knee. He has a trip to Africa planned with his bro, Prince Henry. Subsequently, I will be taking the month of June off to go bag myself some Hot Ginge….

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Rihanna and Matt Kemp Engaged !?!

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While most of Hollywood men have gone sex criminal crazy, Matt Kemp is reportedly choosing the path of eternal monogamy (yes kittens, the word monogamy gives me the shivers too). Kemp has reportedly asked Rihanna to marry him. Rihanna and Matt Kemp are engaged says a friend of the couple.

Via Bossip:

“Rihanna and Matt are spending a lot of time together at the couples spot in L.A.. Matt surprised Rihanna last week when he approached her and asked for her hand in marriage. She said yes, but also relayed the message of feeling that this may be too soon and a long engagement should follow.”

Egads. So basically he gave her an engagement ring and she bargained it down to a high school promise ring. Congrats…I think.
Rihanna and Matt have yet to admit they are dating, but numerous photos of them together in a hot tub (click HERE for those) and pictures of Matt grabbing two handfuls of RiRi’s rear (click HERE for those) pretty much are photographic admission. The “Rude Boy” singer also met Kemp’s family early in March after flying from Berlin to Arizona for the weekend.

Reese Witherspoon and Gerard Butler Hook Up

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I can picture it now. Reese’s future involves a trip to the free clinic dressed as she damns her case of itchy crotch. Reports by your favorite tabloid are insistent that Reese Witherspoon and Gerard Butler hooked up.

After reading scripts together to play love interests in a New Line flick that is in the works, they fell in lust. Witherspoon is fresh from her break up with Jake Gyllenhaal and Gerard will nail anything with his two requirements: poon and a pulse.

“Reese’s friends are giggling about her secretly meeting up with Gerard. She thinks he’s superhot!” a friend of the actress told Star. “Reese is just having a good time with him. They’ve hung out a few times, mostly at his place in L.A. They got very chatty while reading the scripts, and there was noticeable chemistry. After that reading, they started talking and hanging out.”

From there they “hung out” quite often according to the tale. They reunited publicly again at a Haiti fundraiser (not the telethon in which Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt supposedly pledged their undying love for each other at the backstage buffet line –click HERE to read about that.) Of course, she is just isn’t looking to buy the pig, she just wants a little sausage.

“Reese doesn’t want to hurt Jake’s feelings and doesn’t want him to know about her and Gerard. She’s not interested in taking it a step further with Gerard — and that’s how she wants to keep it.”

I am getting herpes just from writing about all of Gerard’s conquests. I hope she made him double bag it. Reese appears to be turning into Kate Hudson. She is also rumored to be dating Jim Toth, an agent at Hollywood’s powerful Creative Artists Agency. Her friends say it was a business meeting while Toth’s friends say it was a date.

After the nearly two-hour meal – for which Toth picked up the tab – the couple walked outside and parted ways around 11 p.m. “Reese reached around his neck and pulled him close for a hug,” says the onlooker. “They kissed bye on the cheek – but it was a very friendly goodbye.”

I am guessing that there is some truth in all this. I haven’t heard much on the validity of a Reese and Gerry humpfest but he seems to be the token man whore these days. I am betting that Jim was hoping to be the Jason Trawick to her Britney Spears, but Reese doesn’t want to have a live in toy.

For More Info on Over Sexed Celebs…Click HERE to See Who is Leaving Sex Rehab!

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Drew Barrymore Announced Engagement Via Facebook

Ok. Someone spiked everyone’s eggnog. The world has gone marriage crazy. I fear going to run errands. I might be engaged by the time I pick up my standing vodka order at Wal-Mart or getting pregnant while munching on my Nevah-Ending-Stack-O-Pancake-Paradise at IHOP.

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Drew Barrymore is also engaged according to her Facebook page. A friend of Drew’s at WOW aired out her alleged wedding announcement that she posted on the social networking site after adding that he got her drunk when she was 10. They arrest people for that correct?

Anyway, she had been on again and off again with Justin Long (who will always be the kid from “Ed” to me). So I am guessing she is either engaged to Long or finally accepted a proposal from the homeless guy outside of In and Out Burger.
Before I get out my party pants, I am going to wait for a confirmation by a human. Not that Facebook would evah be lie telling.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Legal Documents Actually a Prenup

Here we go again. These two have been rumored to be splitting up, getting married, while buying babies from some village in Haiti. So here are the new stories being pumped into you Brangelina hongray eyeballs….

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Life and Style (via Starpulse) is probably the closest to the truth:

Brad and Angelina had a meeting with a top law firm in L.A. in December, where they worked out terms of a legal document similar to a pre-nup. The couple signed the document in early January. They agreed to share their money and assets and custody of their six children, all of whom would live with Angelina in the event of their parents’ break-up. They didn’t talk to the lawyer about splitting, nor was that ever mentioned at the meeting. Brad and Angelina aren’t splitting right now.”

TMZ is bashing reports that Brad and his chin pubs of power bought a bachelor pad.

“The home — located in the Hollywood Hills — is the newest piece of Brad’s master plan to expand the sprawling compound he shares with Angelina and their 86 children. The evidence is clear — first off, Brad purchased the home back in August — long before rumors of a break up began to make the rounds. Second — the place was a dump and Brad couldn’t move in — even if he wanted to — because the home was far from livable at the time he bought it.”

OK Magazine wins the award for Supreme Nuttery in the Category of Fictitious Hook Ups at Buffet Lines or Juice Bars Officiated by George Clooney. The mag basically states that Brad did his ho stroll for Jennifer Aniston at the buffet line backstage at the Hope for Haiti Telethon. They ended up crying on each-other’s shoulders and pledging their reborn again virginity to Kirk Cameron.

“Leave it to sly George Clooney to play matchmaker. When the actor asked both Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston to volunteer for the Hope For Haiti Now telethon he was staging in L.A. on Jan. 22, he knew the two were bound to bump into each other. And they did just that, reuniting at an elaborate backstage buffet at the live event — while Brad’s partner, Angelina Jolie, was in NYC for a photo shoot.”

One thing that we know for sure is that these covers will be the new wallpaper for Jen’s spare bathroom.

Tara Reid is Engaged, Not Joking

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Tara Reid is engaged and there is no punch line to follow that statement. Someone really wants to marry her. Good for her. I just want to pat her on her head and send her on her way with a wine cooler to go play with the rest of the has-beens on the playground.

Tara Reid and boyfriend Michael Axtmann were having dinner at The Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles on Monday night when Axtmann asked for something not on the menu: Reid’s hand in marriage.

“Michael surprised Tara with a beautiful round brilliant cut ring,” the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. “Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, ‘Congratulations.’”

Tara, hold onto him and never let go. Any man that will vow to hold your drank while you score some Taco Bell, hold your hair back while you toss and hold you up when you are too crunk to stand is a Prince among men.

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Kate Moss and Jamie Hince Engaged

Looks like Peter Doherty will have to find someone else to bail him out of jail and take him down after taking too much of the bad stuff. It is being reported that Kate Moss is engaged.

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This weekend Moss celebrated her 36th birthday with her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, who flew in to see her. The model and Kills guitarist have been attached at the groin since 2007. Shortly after she finally dumped Dohery she hooked up with Hince and things took off from there.

Via Daily Mail:

Hince, 40, flew out to meet Miss Moss last week while she was working in Mustique and proposed on Saturday, her 36th birthday, using a diamond ring chosen with the help of her boss and friend, Topshop tycoon Philip Green.

‘It was the first time they had been alone together in quite a while and it was extremely emotional. Kate and Jamie are in a very good place, they already live together and this is the next step to settling down for good.’

Congrats and my hats off to your proudly displayed recycle bins full of empty booze bottles. That is the mark of a environmentally friend booze-hound.

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